Tuesday Rumble: August 21st

This week on Tuesday Rumble, Chibi Dii takes a well-earned vacation, but for one week only, new blog mascot Chibi Karura is taking his place in order to make her introduction. Meanwhile, Fashion Police will also be on hiatus for a while, but if you want to see your favourite law enforcers back, then do your civic duty by reporting fashion violators in the comment section below.

Chagum’s Spinning Coins

Ever wished for something a little more exciting than the sitting and talking of Seirei no Moribito? Then Chagum’s Spinning Coins is the one for you, an exciting tale based on the episode where Chagum plays the spinning coin game! Can young Chagum, a beginner at Spinning Coins, master the game and rise to the top in time for the upcoming world tournament? Can he defeat the evil forces hoping to use the power of Spinning Coins to take over the world? Tune in and find out!

FF7: E-Z of spin-offs

As we all know, Final Fantasy VII has spawned four money-making spin-offs lettered from A to D- Advent Children, Before Crisis, Crisis Core and Dirge of Cerberus. It is clear that is only the beginning of a whole A-Z of FF7 cash-ins, and here on Tuesday Rumble, we plan to document the future of franchise spin-offs.

Elena- A Life in the Turks: Play as Elena as she becomes a Turk and rises in the ranks.

Fort Condor: Remember how much you loved that Fort Condor mini-game of pain and excruciating slowness? Well, now you can play an entire game based on protecting Fort Condor from endless waves of enemies.

Gold Saucer: An entire game based around the mini-games at Gold Saucer, now expanded for additional “enjoyment”.

Hojo’s House of Horrors: Before he died, Hojo left a house filled with dangerous experiments, and when the security went down, they all escaped. In this action game, you must enter the house and put a stop to their rampage- for good.

Icicle Winter Olympics: The 2010 Winter Olympics are to be held at Icicle Village, and you can join in! Enter different events and try to score that elusive gold medal in snowboarding, skiing, ice skating and more!

Joe- Chocobo Champion: Play as Joe as you go from being a rookie in the chocobo racing world to the top man in the business.

Kalm Days: You have just bought a farm on the edge of Kalm Village, but can you make it into a thriving business?

Lucky Sevens: Play Cait Sith’s slot machine- infinitely!

Mog House II: A sequel to the popular Mog House game in Gold Saucer, feed moogles kupo nuts so that they can find their one true love! Look after generations of moogles as they learn to fly and impress prospective mates!

Nibelheim- The History: Play through the “missing” five years in Nibelheim history from the time the town was burned down to its current state.

Odin’s Sacrifice: Learn the history of Odin and how he became sealed in a materia in this tragic visual novel tale.

Priscilla’s Dolphin Training: Play as Priscilla and swim with the dolphins as you train them to perform tricks.

Quadra Slam: Play an exciting card game based on Triple Triad and Tetra Master, but for FF7!

Red XIII’s Tale: Play as Red XIII for five hundred years, ending at the final scene of the original game.

Seventh Heaven: Help make Tifa’s bar a thriving business in this game inspired by the likes of Burger Rush and Chocolatier.

Tifa’s School of Martial Arts: Pull off combos and become a martial artist in this free-roaming beat-’em-up.

Underwater Adventures: Explore the underwater world of FF7 in your submarine in this exciting game.

Vincent’s Valentines: In this alternate universe dating sim, Turks Academy Vincent must win the lovely Lucrecia’s heart before she gets stolen away by Hojo.

Wutai’s War: A tactical RPG based on the war that Godo and the others fought.

X Marks the Spot: Dig up treasures in sites of archaeological interest such as Bone Village. Make your way across the world in search of rare and elusive items buried deep beneath the surface!

Yuffie- Materia Hunter: Play as Yuffie and travel across the world in search of materia.

Zack’s Story: Play as Zack as he joins SOLDIER and tries to reach the highest ranks.

More Kenichi

Yep, that’s pretty much it.

“Do you think it’s more of an Ezo than a Liang?”

The monkeys that survived battle in Heroic Age have created their own how to fight books.

“I never thought I would witness HARD GAY with my own eyes!”

…or alternatively, be terrified of next time.

Kenichi is worried about the size of his Liang.

“I already gave him HARD GAY yesterday.”

“His Liang looked fine to me.”

“I will not rest until it is destroyed!”

“…about HARD GAY.”

“…and if you can Pleasure me, then I will pay you.”

“But if your climax is merely average…”

“…it will be the end of our relationship!”

“I’ve never seen one before!”

“The internet isn’t just about sex!”

“It isn’t?”

“Let’s play Yu-Gi-Oh!”

“I summon the Blue Eyes White Dragon!”

Random Thoughts: Prinny

This week we interview a generic prinny from Disgaea! Prinny, even though you are a downtrodden damned soul, do you feel that you got the last laugh by becoming a recurring presence in various Nippon Ichi games?

Dood, everyone loves prinnies! If only Etna didn’t keep taking our pay from all those games, we’d be rich!

What is it like, working under Etna?

It’s hell, dood! We work day and night for a pittance, and if we’re lucky, we don’t get exploded before the night of the red moon.

Do you get any of the proceeds from the sale of prinny plushies?

Plushies? Those are real prinnies, dood!

And finally, what do Celestian prinnies look like?

They’re white, dood, with feathery wings and haloes.

This Week in Anime

Mobile HORSE spreads to a new town.

Vegetables make a comeback after fruit domination.

All generics are seated together for convenience.

“Hey, are you eating an apple?”

“It’s my apple- stay away from it!”

“Fine, then- I’ll just make do with some naked men and this DOG.”

Fat cat is revealed to be an impostor after it deflates.

Ah, good old tea, which we English sup whilst visiting libraries and waltzing at balls.

Nuts begin their campaign.

HARD GAY corner: Heat Guy J

Daisuke Aurora first learned HARD GAY at the hands of his brother Shun and old man Shogun, but in later years, their busy schedules prevented them from having the time to service him. Fearful of having to rely on Hyper Self Pleasure, Daisuke took on a robotic lover, J, tuned to perfectly fulfil his every desire. Even when J became damaged or started to malfunction, Daisuke insisted that he be fixed, fearful of losing his ideal lover.rn

Thanks to the experience gained with J, Daisuke became the envy of many a man, and soon gained other lovers in the form of older man Edmundo, bishie mafia leader Clair Leonelli and Boma, a man with the face and appetites of a beast. Nonetheless, Daisuke still longed for the strong embrace of his brother, and was understandably upset to learn that not only was Shun the main villain, but that he had turned to STRAIGHT with his assistant Phia- at one point. In an attempt to show his brother the power of HARD GAY, Daisuke organised a group session with all of his lovers, even including J, who Shun had tried to reprogram for STRAIGHT. In the end, Shun was shown the error of his ways, but after tiring of his current lovers, Daisuke decided to leave the city in search of fresh Liangs.

OST spotlight: Avenger

Ali Project are often accused of being a one-trick pony, but this opportunity to provide the music for an entire series proved that when they want to, they can actually compose different themes. Although their gothic and borderline discordant style permeates the entire OST, there is still plenty of variety packed in, from fast and energetic tracks that wouldn’t be out of place in a platform or action game, to slower and more melancholy themes. The only real weak piece on the whole CD is the vocal track “MOTHER”, an almost painful slow and dull theme that lasts for over five minutes.

Notable tracks: Gesshoku Grand Guignol, Reinforcement of Happiness, Babylon Café, Death Becoming Unavailable, Taming the Young Woman, Puppeteer, Trompe-l”oeil labyrinth, The Season of Hell, Mirai no Eve

Mini-editorial: Tackling depression in entertainment- who should be saved?

Depression and entertainment hardly seem like comfortable bedfellows, but in the likes of NHK, we see characters who are suffering from various related problems that prevent them from interacting “normally” with society. The purpose of their inclusion may be for dark comedy or to view their salvation, but ultimately, how should it be handled in the long term? In real life, such problems may take months or even years of treatment, but the good thing about anime (or indeed any form of fiction) is that it doesn’t have to be realistic- it is far more satisfying to see the characters improve over the course of the series than to see them stuck in the same old rut.

Admittedly, I haven’t read the last few chapters yet, but NHK was a major offender in this regard, keeping its characters sequestered in misery and despair long after the humour of the situation had worn away. Similarly, Eva, whilst admittedly intended to reflect Anno’s own state of depression in the past, failed to “save” its characters, making them annoying and repetitive instead of people whose journey endears them to us.

In Your Reflection

This week we have a head-to-head between two silver-haired juveniles- .hack//SIGN’s Tsukasa and Get Backers’ Makubex. Both are trapped in a virtual world of sorts and aren’t particularly keen on the company of others, but each ends up as part of a group of friends.

Amusing Search Terms

This week on Amusing Search Terms, someone wonders “El Cazador yuri?”. Another person is more confident, and insists that “El Cazador de la Bruja is yuri”. They must be hoping to link up with the “lusty lesbians”, who were also on the hunt for “yuri romeo x Juliet”, “the yuri & friends incest english ver”, “yuri+manga+sex+incest” and “yuri incest”.

what romeo x juliet character are you: You are Benvolio, a person with so much time on their hands that they have to look up “what Romeo X Juliet character are you?”

“saiunkoku monogatari””2”: For some reason putting the 2 in quotation marks amused me.

Koutetsu Sangokushi dub: Aren’t you getting ahead of yourself? It isn’t even licensed yet.

“utawarerumono” AND “Download”AND”Direct: Some people just want everything, don’t they?

rpg games were there is a fat ginga boy: What?

the best of gay: Is this an album, like “The Best Dance Music Ever… Part II”?

Amusing Spam

"scary movie reviews...

It can on occasion get bothersome to extract the insightful ''horror movie'' work from the dreadful...."

I agree; where do you begin?

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� a lot of useful information, thank you to you� � �  much scorched tem here�  spam all right I went away to meeting�  

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I couldn’t follow all of this, but at least they admit it was spam.

"Rafael...

I think this post is relevant but slightly biased & I would like to see more equal information..."

That’s the last time I get Rafael to write anything for my blog.

"The resourceful thing to do is to do your statistical study efficiently...."

I agree.

"Elk and Bear Hunting Tips...

� 

We are extremely thrilled that you''ve found this webpage dealing with hunting guides...."

I’m really happy too; at last I can begin my new hobby of hunting the numerous elk and bear native to the United Kingdom.

"click here...

It is tiresome attempting to total the hours we have spent looking up fx chat room pages...."

Tell me about it.

"Best site for meeting people for sex! 

A lot of local girls need sex right here"

They do? Shame I’m not into HARD YURI, then.