Romeo X Juliet parody episode 21

Picking up where last episode left off.

Ophelia: Yes, the time has come for you to have TREE with Escalus and thus turn into one yourself, proving the superiority of WOOD over mere flesh.

Juliet passes out, and awakens later by herself.

Juliet: Must I really sacrifice myself for the sake of a load of generics? Is becoming WOOD the answer?

Meanwhile, the city has been badly damaged. Mercutio addresses some soldiers.

Mercutio: Why are you all standing around? We need to prepare the bedchamber for the Grand Duke!

In the city, Francisco and Curio give HARD GAY to various generics.

Curio: Take all the injured ones away- we only want able men here!

Francisco: There are more men than I anticipated- this could be an all-nighter.

The first fires are spotted.

Francisco: Damn, now these fires are going to interfere with our Pleasure plans!

Curio: I’ll go and put them out at once- the only flames I need are ones of passion.

Romeo and Montague watch the spreading fires from the Keep.

Montague: Gwakaka, this will teach those grape lovers! Watch as your fruit burn!

Romeo: Father, are you really burning your own city?

Montague: Silence, fool! Those generics and their grape-stained fingers deserve it!

Romeo: Damn you! Even Darth Vader was a better father figure than you!

Tybalt watches the proceedings from his HORSE.

Tybalt: Hmm, we’re getting close to the end- I wonder if I’ll have any discernible plot role whatsoever.

As Mercutio and the soldiers set the city on fire with flaming HORSE, Romeo confronts them on his generic HORSE.

Romeo: You, whatever your name is, HORSE isn’t meant to be used for destruction! It is the ultimate form of Pleasure!

Mercutio: I’ll show you the ultimate Pleasure! Aerial HARD GAY!

Mercutio tries to give Romeo Sword, and they both plummet to the ground in the throes of HARD GAY.

Romeo: I don’t know who you are, but stop this madness at once!

Mercutio: You’ll never understand the pain of having so little screen time and development!

Romeo: If you’d just tell me your name, maybe I can help you.

Mercutio: Damn you! I’m off to find a series where I can shine!

Mercutio runs off. Meanwhile, Juliet is helping generics when Romeo swoops in on his HORSE to save a little girl from a falling keystone.

Romeo: Juliet, I have completely given up HARD GAY- all I want now is STRAIGHT with you.

Juliet: You were HARD GAY?

Romeo: Anyway, I have to go now- unspecified plot events and all. See you later.

Romeo runs off. After all the commotion is settled, Juliet meets up with her allies and they return to their base.

Conrad: Damn that Montague! Is he trying to set himself up as a final boss?

Francisco: We’ve spent twenty-one episodes doing barely anything- perhaps now is the time to take action.

Conrad: Yes, we must attack at once!

Meanwhile, Cordelia brushes Juliet’s hair.

Cordelia: You know, us supporting characters have had development too- for example, even though our relationship was barely starting out last time we were onscreen, now he wants us to live together!

Juliet: He does? Go for it!

(Cordelia: Damn, I shouldn’t have exaggerated so much- now I have to go through with it.)

The next thing we know, Benvolio and Cordelia are having a wedding ceremony.

(Juliet: I’m so happy that I feel like having a budget-saving Flashback Mode!)

We see brief clips of events throughout the series.

(Juliet: I’m sorry, Romeo, but it looks like I must offer myself up to WOOD at the end of the series. I hope you can be happy with HORSE and HARD GAY instead of STRAIGHT.)

To be continued…

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