Ophelia kisses Juliet.
Juliet: No! I don’t want to turn HARD YURI!
Meanwhile, Francisco, Curio , Conrad and Tybalt are stuck outside.
Francisco: It looks like we aren’t even important enough to be allowed into the final area.
Tybalt: I hate to say it, but the time has come to accept our accursed roles as supporting characters. All we can do is carry out useless time-filling tasks whilst we wait for Romeo and Juliet to resolve the plot.
Romeo prepares to confront Ophelia.
Romeo: What have you done to Juliet!?
Ophelia: She’s mine now.
Romeo: Shut up! The series is called Romeo X Juliet, not Ophelia X Juliet!
Ophelia: We’ll see about that.
Escalus closes Ophelia and Juliet away from Romeo. As she does so, Neo Verona begins to fall apart.
Shakespeare: No! If the world falls apart, we’ll all die horribly, but more importantly, there will be no more stories!
Ophelia begins the incantation necessary to turn Juliet to WOOD.
Ophelia: Oh, foolish star of the worst adaptation of Romeo and Juliet to appear so far, absolve thy sins by becoming inoffensive WOOD!
Romeo: Stop! It wasn’t that bad a series!
Juliet is taken into Escalus’ trunk.
Conrad: Why is this happening? This has to be one of the worst anime endings ever, and that’s saying something!
Ophelia: Damn, she’s resisting and I don’t know why! Who wouldn’t want to become WOOD?
Romeo: Well, pretty much anyone, I should think.
Ophelia: Shut up!
Ophelia moves to attack Romeo, but Curio, Francisco and Tybalt appear just in time to rescue him.
Tybalt: Ah, having something to do in the final feels great!
Ophelia: How dare you supporting characters come in here!?
The four men begin battling Escalus and Ophelia. Romeo makes his way to Juliet and calls to her, causing the tree to burst open.
Romeo: Juliet! Let’s make this a happy ending!
Ophelia: The final boss battle isn’t over yet! Begin Phase Two!
Ophelia becomes completely WOODEN and combines with Escalus to attack Romeo.
Romeo: Cutscene power!
Romeo stabs Ophelia, shattering her. Unfortunately, he is also stabbed by WOOD, and falls into Juliet’s arms.
Romeo: I can’t speak your name anymore- the director has forbidden it. Farewell.
Juliet: Damn you, Gonzo, why did you have to change everything else and still keep the tragic ending? Now there’s no choice but for me to become WOOD!
Juliet transforms into WOOD, safely bringing Neo Verona down to rest in the sea instead of floating unrealistically in the air. In the months afterwards, all the named characters find happiness- Cordelia and Benvolio have a child, Vittorio becomes mayor, Tybalt and Petruchio’s siblings have HORSE with Cielo, Cielo and the female HORSE have a foal, and so forth. And that, as they say, is that.