Tuesday Rumble: May 6th

Busou Renkin the game

Still missing Busou Renkin? On the off-chance that you actually are, why not imagine a world where the series has its own RPG? In the style of Star Ocean, all battles are fought in real-time, with trigger buttons used to unleash special attacks from a player’s Busou Renkin. Whether you fancy stabbing the enemy with Sunlight Heart or ripping them apart with the Valkyrie Skirt, this is the game for you.

Playable characters: Kazuki, Tokiko, Bravo, Ouka, Shusui, Papillon, Gouta

Shion no Ou 19

“He was the only man I cared about.”

Satoru gets desperate for some phone sex.

“This will help me get in the mood for my later customers.”

“You know those kinky photos we took last time? I really need copies.”

“I don’t need Pleasure today, Ayumi.”

“Hani-meijin is mine now!”

“She taught us how to use these hands for Hyper Self Pleasure!”

Dragons’ Den

Welcome to our regular feature based on the TV program of the same name, in which anime characters try to market their great idea to five fat cats of anime! President Aria made his fortune in the gondola industry of Neo Venezia, and is now CEO of a well-known company. Mikoto started her business in the capital of Wind Bloom, and is now a trusted advisor to the queen, with business partners scattered across the world. The Admiral’s first business venture was to invest in a Chinese restaurant, but a meteor threat to Earth saw her buy shares in ground and space based defence technology, which she currently administers with her protégé “The General” (aka Shogun). Mr Tibbs started his career as a tea cat for the bank, but his sound grasp of finance saw him rise up the ranks until he became one of their most prominent managers. Finally, The Cardinal is the world’s most powerful fat cat, with a wide range of business interests that ensure that he has a paw in every pie (often literally, depending on his appetite). These five cats represent some heavyweight investment clout in every sense of the word, but is any deal attractive enough to get them to roll off their backsides and shake paws with a budding entrepreneur?

The latest entrepreneur to brave the Den is Taro, a generic male with a rather interesting proposal- the sale of personal harems for men and women.

Taro: Hello everyone, I’m Taro, and I’m here to show you how you can revolutionise your life with your own personal harem! Lonely men can spice up their lives with our starter pack of Lead Girl, Tsundere, Meganekko and Maid, whilst add-on such as Sports Girl, Android, Iinchou and many more are available for purchase from our website. We also cater for the female market with specialised reverse harems of bishounen.

Admiral: This is all very interesting, but we’re cats- we aren’t really interested in human mating rituals. I’m out.

Cardinal: Actually, I am interested if I can make money from it. I can foresee this being a nice little earner.

Taro’s proposal has already caused controversy in the Den, but can he rely on the Cardinal’s interest in the product to land an offer?

Aria: Punyu? [Do you cater for people looking to land a specific partner?]

Taro: Well, we’ve really chosen to specialise in harems at the moment.

Aria: Punyu. [That’s a shame- if it can’t help me get President Hime, I’m out.]

Mikoto: To be honest, I’ve spent some time in the company of generic characters, and the idea of flooding the market with more of them frightens me. I’m out.

Three Dragons are out already, but will either the Cardinal or Mr Tibbs throw Taro a lifeline?

Cardinal: I don’t know what the others are on about- not only can we make a killing from lonely otaku with this, but we can then make generic anime series about their lives and sell related merchandise. I’d like to make you an offer.

It’s success for Taro, but will this cause the anime market to collapse from harem overload? We can only wait and see.

This Week in Anime

“In the old days, Grandpa and I would have tomato carrying races.”

Magatama make a long-awaited return.

Jaco Daniels, not to be confused with Jack Daniels.

“Oh god, I’m losing the baby!”

The true purpose of the pyramids is finally revealed- they were meant to house giant apples.

“Could this be the fabled Strawberry Mountain I’ve heard so much about?”

“Melons! Get your watermelons, parsnips and nondescript round things here!”

“Could this be- fruit?”

“One day I will live in luxury, consuming whatever fruit I wish!”

“You didn’t mean to drink the invisibility potion?”

Little did we know how important apples were to become in Spice and Wolf.

“Am I too late for the tomato carrying race?”

Sweet juicy apples…

…you can never have enough.

Maybe that’s why shinigami like them so much.

Just for DS, we now track dango!

That basket of oranges has been in so many series.

How can I order from this Zamahzon place?

Neapolitan dango.

*NEW* Classic PC Games: Traffic Department 2192

As part of a new feature, we go back in time to investigate the PC games that shaped Karura’s formative years, starting with the surprisingly influential Traffic Department 2192. Set in the future on the distant planet of Seche, TD 2192 deposits you right in the middle of the war between the native Traffic Department and the invading Vulture army; you’ll play as Lieutenant Marta Velasquez, a pilot with a sharp tongue and a chip on her shoulder, through twenty missions in the shareware version, and a further forty in the full version.

Actual game play is rather simple- in either a hoversled or helicopter, you fly around the city accomplishing the objective of either wiping out the enemy or protecting your ally. Gunning down everything in sight is usually the way forward, and since the number of maps you use is rather limited, you won’t have to worry about finding your way around. Nonetheless, it’s good fun- but what really makes the game stand out is what happens between missions, namely, the dialogue. With a somewhat crude yet surprisingly funny set of exchanges and one-liners, TD 2192 was the kind of game you couldn’t play when your parents were in the room, although admittedly by the second and third episodes both the humour and the plot had worn a little thin.

Visually, TD 2192 uses ray trace graphics for scrolling, arcade style gameplay, whilst the music is oddly catchy- especially the three tracks used in missions. It may have not been played by many, but those who try it will always remember TD 2192 with a degree of fondness.

Mini-editorial: Should the future of DVD releases lie in boxsets alone?

In the days when I was young and reckless, I would purchase single DVDs as they came out- hungrily devouring the three to five episodes on an average disc over the course of an evening or two. It was all very exciting to be at the cutting edge of the UK and sometimes US market (which admittedly wasn’t all that cutting edge compared to the latest releases from Japan), but by the time I had amassed several hundred DVDs, it occurred to me that I had perhaps spent rather a lot of money on this pursuit.

From then on, my desire for single DVDs seemed to peter out, especially when the patient were almost always rewarded with cheap boxsets that were a relief for both the bank account and the heaving shelves. Being able to marathon a whole series without long two month gaps that ensured you’d pretty much forgotten what had happened at the beginning by the time you reached the end was something of a revelation, not to mention the series where you weren’t in any rush because you’d already seen it on fansub.

With all this in mind, it seems no wonder that the market for single DVDs has declined, to the point where some series have even been pulled due to poor sales. And with 13-26 episode sets becoming increasingly popular, wouldn’t it be better to make the switch completely and save the printing and production costs of the single DVDs? Or do they still have a role as more expensive ‘comparison products’ that actually help the boxsets to sell better?

Harem of the week: Juliet (Romeo X Juliet)

Her one true love was meant to be Romeo, but she somehow amassed many more admirers in her quest to find a plot.

Harem

Romeo: Her true love, with whom she would share an angst-filled relationship.

Tybalt: Dark brooding bishounen who always appeared during Juliet’s hours of need.

Curio: Stoic Kurogane type who secretly loves Juliet but never reveals his feelings.

Francisco: Blonde playboy who hides deep feelings for Juliet.

Antonio: Obligatory shota.

Rivals

Hermione: Romeo’s fiancée- gives up on him when the plot turns against her.

Cielo: Romeo’s HORSE, and his first lover.