Tuesday Rumble: June 3rd

MyAnimeList and rising divorce rates

As users of MyAnimeList.net will know, whenever you click on another users profile, you can see their compatibility with them- a simple thing, perhaps, but one rife with potential problems. For example, when you find a high compatibility with someone, you might assume that they are your destined soul mate, but a few series disagreements later, and your falling compatibility can spell the end of the relationship. Some say that MAL has become one of the prime motivators for divorce, with angered couples citing such problems as a 2 point difference in ratings for Slayers TV as grounds for separation.

Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei: the lost chapters

Sensei: There will be no class today- I’ve decided to finally kill myself!

Sensei looks around for his rope and noose, only to find that Arai has it.

Arai: I’m sorry, but you can’t have this in the classroom- it’s a health and safety risk.

Sensei: Zetsubou shita! The society that’s obsessed with safety has left me in despair!

• Stores that won’t let you buy too much paracetamol.
• Regulations that don’t let kids play outside in case they get hurt.
• Villains unable to burn the hero’s village in case of smoke inhalation.
• Parents having to sign consent forms to let teachers hug an injured child.
• Barbed wire fences banned in case they harm burglars.
• Travel pillows not allowed near pets, children, soft furnishings and sharp objects in case of damage.

Amatsuki 4

“Humans have the living touch, but robots can go for hours!”

“If you decide to sleep with me, I’d like to be called Big Boy.”

“You’re only good for Pleasure, after all.”

“In the bedroom, I will be your willing love slave.”

“Help, this blind is attacking us!”

“I can’t help but want kinky Pleasure!”

“I don’t want Pleasure from you, and she doesn’t either!”

“This is getting seriously twisted now.”

“You saw a few Liangs, but you couldn’t touch any of them.”

“If he’s as big as you say, we must take him to our beds at once!”

“He can’t really be that big, can he?”

“I’d like to, but we have to settle on a partner first.”

“And if Toki is worthy, he must be included in our Pleasure plans.”

“Haven’t I always been good enough for you?”

This Week in Anime

Apples prove important in the Tsubasa world- and indeed, they make more sense than the plot.

Lina Inverse is overwhelmed by the sheer volume of fruit in anime.

Lawrence selects the best HORSE.

Oh no, even Aria has fallen prey to evil infiltration tactics of Pizza Hut!

Grapes have moved from anime to live action.

“I ended up in hospital after tangling with this basket of fruit.”

Bananas!

…and melons!

Tomatoes!

Watermelon!

I want this kitty cup.

Chickens are great.

Dango Kazoku!

Mango!

It’s important to treat your fruit properly.

Fruit jewellery- does it get any better than this?

New Wang roll out their Italian products.

Classic PC games: Invasion of the Mutant Space Bats of Doom

Who couldn’t love a game with such a cheesy B-movie title? A reworking of the old staple Space Invaders, Space Bats is a scrolling shooter with a difference; as well as being able to move left and right, you can also manoeuvre vertically- an important asset when trying to dodge invading space bats.

Unsurprisingly, the aim of the game is to shoot your way through wave upon wave of invading bats, each with their own style of attacking- from the ‘mother bats’ who can drop babies on you to the fire bats and their deadly flaming wings. Each level consists of twenty-one rounds, including two bonus levels where you shoot at harmless orbs in an attempt to earn points and power-ups. The shareware version contains only level one, but don’t be too disappointed- levels two and three just contain harder versions of exactly the same enemies, without any attempts at additional innovation.

There are also several versions of the game available, each of which is slightly different. Depending on which version you have, you may get a two-player mode, an ‘orb game’ which solely consists of bonus levels, and either a boss ‘mother bat’ battle or no combat at all in rounds 21, 42 and 63. Some versions also contain a very easy to use cheat mode, in which setting the controller to mouse and then right clicking periodically destroys everything on screen (the game may crash if you use this on the bonus rounds).

Although simplistic, the in-game graphics have their own charm, whilst background music consists of just two tracks, both of which are fortunately rather catchy. Overall, then, this is a nice little shooter which will help you relive those retro days.

Next week I’ll cover the sequel to this game, Return of the Mutant Space Bats (don’t say you didn’t see that title coming).

Mini-editorial: categorising blogs

As we all know, the Anime Blog Awards and their associated drama, voting and what-have-you took place recently, with the whole thing being divided into different sections for newcomer, editorial, humour and so forth. Naturally, this got me to thinking- do we really need to categorise blogs at all? What about people who write about a broad variety of things without particularly specialising in any one area?

Azure Flame itself is generally regarded purely for its parody, quite ironic considering that I’ve actually posted far more reviews than parodies for many months now, and also a little disheartening- is everything non-parody on my blog simply too minor and uninteresting to be worth mentioning? Still, at least I have some recognisable gimmicks- what of those who have none? Should they suffer in obscurity because they’ve chosen to write about what takes their fancy, instead of marketing a particular style? Then again, as always, does it matter as long as they enjoy blogging?

Harem of the week: Kira and Athrun (Gundam Seed/Destiny)

In between enjoying HARD GAY with each other, Kira and Athrun managed to rack up an impressive number of girls between them, even swapping and sharing at points.

Harem

Lacus: Originally Athrun’s fiancée, later becomes attached to Kira.

Cagalli: Kira’s sister (in a convoluted sort of way), main Seed love interest for Athrun.

Lunamaria: Typically useless female pilot, admires Athrun but ends up with Shinn.

Meyrin: Lunamaria’s sister, dreams of being a useful character who gets noticed by Athrun.

Meer: Fake Lacus used by Durandal, sticks close to Athrun for a while.

Flay: Manipulative bitch queen who tries to get close to Kira so that she can then force him to risk his life in battle.

Rivals

Shinn: Angsty new hero of Destiny, desperate to usurp the old guard.

Sai: The only minor character foolish enough to have feelings for Flay.