Pumpkin Scissors parody 19

“Alice, you must stop thinking about BI!”

“The time has come to settle down and prepare for a life of STRAIGHT.”

“Won’t that upset the status quo?”

“Don’t worry, I’m sure everything will be back to normal by the end of the arc.”

“Hurry up, Randel- there are people queuing up for BI!”

“A real potato- I’ve never seen one before! And you say these will be used to make Walker’s Crisps?”

“Randel, what are you doing to me?”

“Wait your turn for BI like the rest of us!”

“You know we have the stamina to service all of you.”

“It’s not enough for us anymore!”

“You have names! We’re just generics!”

“Well then, why don’t you complain to the writers?”

“We’d better not- it’ll probably turn out like that time when we were all conned into buying identical flat caps.”

“Didn’t we have the budget to animate a mob scene?”

“All we can do is give BI!”

“Well, at least you’re skilled.”

“Yes, I’ve peeled the clothing off many women.”

“Screen time for me, screen time for me!”

“I’m surrounded by minor characters.”


“They say she’s BI!”

“They get far more screen time than I do!”

“I ordered it from Pizza Hut!”

“Stop butting in on our screen time, you ugly old man!”

“Let’s forget about his generic appearance by gazing at my handsome face!”

“He’s bound to appear on Dragons’ Den sooner or later!”

“I know you want to hook up to me for screen time, but I feel it my duty to warn you that the series is almost over- and that my importance will go with it.”

“Am I right in thinking there might be a spin-off show in the works?”

“Yes- like the new Indiana Jones movie, it’s been in production for ages.”

“How can you still have such enthusiasm as the main character, knowing that your series will end and you will be forgotten?”

“We have to do the best with the screen time that we have, you know.”

“We will fight together for a second season!”

“At this rate we’ll be forgotten!”

“Don’t worry- he’s as unimportant as we are, if not more so.”

“Can you believe that? It’s hardly fit to be served alongside delicacies such as ox tongue, bulls’ eyes, pigs’ trotters and soup made from bird spit!”

“What are we going to do? We’ll all turn into squirrels!”

“…and you’d better believe it, because I was an official taste tester for Masterchef!”

“Don’t you remember the five second rule?”

“I have realised that my destiny is to start my own show- perhaps some sort of cooking-related series!”

“I must find out about the kind of Liangs you have seen in the army.”

“Well, that’s everyone serviced for tonight.”

“Look at that guy- he was definitely happy with our BI.”

“Mum, it hurts to do Hyper Self Pleasure!”

“That isn’t right- no kid should have to go without the joy of Hyper Self Pleasure.”

“Yay, now I have special HSP gloves!”

“Uh, don’t forget about us.”

“Yay! Warm hands and Hyper Self Pleasure for all!”

“You should prioritise- you’re a main character and they’re just generic kids we’ll never see again.”

“Of course, that’s not to say Hyper Self Pleasure isn’t important.”

“And doing it in the cold is never a good idea.”

“But kids don’t need it as much as we adults do.”

“All this talk of Hyper Self Pleasure has made me desperate for some.”

“Come on, Liang!”

“Wait a minute- are those guys having a Pleasure meeting?”

“I need men!”

“Pleasure for all!”

“Documents of legendary HARD GAY techniques!”

“Even so, looking at these images is not enough for me!”

“I need to actually experience the Pleasure documented therein!”

“And that’s where you all come in- in every sense of the word!”

“I won’t lie to you- these extremes of Pleasure aren’t even legal!”

“But I won’t back away from trying them!”

“Too right!”

(“I’m getting a nosebleed just from thinking about this!”)

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