Allison and Lillia parody episode 2

Allison and Will follow the kidnapper’s aircraft.

Wil: Won’t they see us?

Allison: Don’t worry- main character power is rendering us invisible and inaudible.

They fly on and cross the border- only to get shot at.

Wil: Hey, what happened to main character power?

Allison: It’s okay, everything’s going to plan! I’m just pretending to spin out of control to throw them off our trail! Now I’m just pretending that we’re plummeting towards the ground! Now I’ll pretend to crash!

The plane crashes.

Allison: Well, at least we came away unharmed.

Allison and Wil sit in the woods and eat rations.

Allison: Hey, this is just like the picnics we used to have.

Wil: I don’t remember us ever sitting in a foreign wood in the middle of the night.

Allison: Ah, the good old days- we’ve been friends forever, haven’t we? Long enough for us to discover our true feelings for each other.

Wil: Yes, our true feelings- of firm friendship.

As morning magically arrives within moments, Allison and Wil spot a fawn, but when they approach it, the mother deer attacks, kicking Wil in the head.

(Allison: Thank god Wil’s so thick-headed- there shouldn’t be any lasting damage.)

Wil: Uh, I feel like I’ve lost 20 IQ points. Also, my legs feel a bit weak- would you mind carrying me all day today?

Allison duly carries Wil until they find the Mysterious Convenient House in the Middle of Nowhere.

Allison: That’s main character power at work!

A woman, Travas Radia, emerges and they go indoors.

Travas: Kicked in the head by a deer, you say? Who are you, anyway?

(Allison: I see no reason not to trust this random woman who lives in the middle of nowhere.)

Allison: I’m Allison Whittington from the air force, and this is my childhood friend Wilhelm Schulz! We’re trying to rescue a kidnapped old man and find a legendary secret treasure!

Travas: Whatever- I didn’t ask for you life story. Oh, and by the way, I automatically hate all soldiers, but since it wouldn’t be sporting to do it tonight, I’ll turn you into the police tomorrow.

Somehow it once again automatically becomes evening.

Allison: Oh well, since there’s only a bed for you, Wil, I guess I’ll have to sleep outside on the stony earth, with only slugs and pebbles for company.

Wil: Hmm? Oh, that gives me an idea!

Allison: Yes?

Wil: Why don’t we share a bed-

(Allison: Yes!)

Wil: -just like good friends should?

(Allison: Damn!)

The next morning, Wil gets up early.

Travas: You two- you’re main characters, aren’t you?

Wil: That’s right.

Travas: In that case, let me get screen time by telling you my life story. You see, my two boys were killed in the war, so I live here in the middle of nowhere in case fighting breaks out again- that way, I, an elderly woman, can rush straight to the front lines and cut a swathe of destruction through the ranks of highly trained enemy soldiers. Anyway, enough of that- let’s have breakfast.

Allison comes back.

Wil: Hey Allison, let’s go and find the treasure- I’m sure it exists.

Travas: Wait a minute- what treasure?

Wil: A magical treasure that will automatically end the war, of course!

Travas: Oh, why didn’t you say? Here, take my sons’ uniforms as a disguise- they’re on size fits all! Oh, and this gun too- I need to clear all this old army junk out of the house.

Wil: Thank you very much.

Travia: Oh no, it’s me who should be thanking you- just by coming into my lives for one night, you’ve made me realise that I’ve wasted the last decade hating the Roxche army. I feel so much better now!

Allison and Wil head off on their way.

To be continued…

5 thoughts on “Allison and Lillia parody episode 2

  1. Oh my, as always you amaze me with your parodies Karura, they are great and I wish to read even more of them.

    Great work and keep the good work up!

    Now I need to start catching up on Allison and Lillia as well.

  2. LOL this is even better than the last mainly because Wil truly is an idiot, alas what does Allison see in that wimp.

  3. The book actually explains most, if not all, the apparent plot holes brought up here… first of all, the reason they’ve given chase to the kidnappers at all is because they first went back after they wrecked the motorcycle, to have the policeman at the station tell them off. Then, when Allison goes to visit Wil in his dorm at night, someone torches her guest room. When they catch up with the arsonist and pin him down, it’s the same officer from earlier, who’s been ordered to get rid of the evidence. They find a map on him that shows a location out where they were before, and head out on another motorcycle, at which point we head back to that secret base. (Not how the owner is Terror Steel.) After sneaking into the hangar and tricking the (sleeping) guard into letting them off or they’ll tell “uncle” he wasn’t doing his duty, they steal a plane and give chase. That brings us to where the episode starts.

    Now… for one, the river is in the middle of a buffer zone where no one lives (and since it’s 1930s technology, radar isn’t in wide use), which is a direct result of the Green Island conflict of 10 years before. (Walter’s poison gas operation was another 20 years before that, during the “Great War”.) The plane that attacks them is obviously contacted by the one they were pursuing, and their crash ruse would have actually worked were it not for abandoned power lines along a disused road.

    The deer incident is just a result of Allison’s stupidity, but the reason she manages to find Radia’s house is that Radia (a noblewoman formerly from the capital) is looking to get revenge on her father, husband, and two sons, who all died fighting against Roxche. She’s on the “front lines,” as it were, to get in a few shots in case the enemy is foolish enough to invade.

    Allison carries Wil into the apparently-empty house, and she pulls a gun on Radia when she first appears, while the woman speaks in the language of Sou Beil. Luckily, Wil comes to long enough to talk Allison down and say a few words to Radia in the language to get her to take them in. (This is the main reason why Allison doesn’t kill Radia, or vice versa.) Then Allison loses her stage fright and starts speaking the language too (remember, they were raised by a woman from the West). Their connection to Muto and their desire to end the war is the main reason why Radia agrees to help them at all, and dress them in her dead sons’ clothes. (The uniforms, by the way, are of the Youth Corps of the Palace Guard, which explains why Wil and Allison get to act like such jackasses to all the other soldiers.)

    But the plot omissions in this episode are nothing compared to the next one, which tosses out a cleverly-executed infiltration and escape for a more conventional firefight. *facepalm*

  4. *shrug*: I’m actually relieved to learn that novels are better- I wouldn’t want to think that the Kino’s Journey author would have come up with what we saw in the anime as-is.

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