Antique Bakery parody episode 11

Tachibana finds himself trapped in yet another Flashback Mode about his kidnapping.


Young Tachibana: Mother, it was awful! And the worst thing wasn’t being taken from my family and forced to live with a strange man- it was eating cakes with strawberries on top!

Back in the present, the two cops plan a stakeout at Antique.

Old Detective: I know it’s the penultimate episode, but I’d like to announce that we habe names! I am now Udagawa, and this young guy is Yoshioka.

Tachibana: Hey Ono, now that these guys have name, do you fancy them?

Ono: I’ll never be that desperate.

As the police plan the details of the stakeout, Udagawa tries coming onto Chikage,

Udagawa: Hey young man, you look rather fit and strong. Do you wear those sunglasses to attract all the boys, er, I mean women?

Chikage: Er, no, it’s just that I’m a little short-sighted- and despite wearing these sunglasses, it seems to be getting worse.

Udagawa: Have you considered getting prescription lenses?

Chikage: Hmm, I hadn’t thought of that- I thought you could just wear any pair of glasses and it would automatically correct your vision.

Finally all the police cameras are set up and it is time for Antique to open.

Yoshioka: Perverted stalking mode- on!

After a whole day of viewing, nothing seems to have happened.

Yoshioka: So, Udagawa, seen any decent men today?

Udagawa: A few, but I haven’t seen any obviously suspicious looking kidnappers coming in.

Tachibana brings up dinner.

Yoshioka: We’d better step up the investigations a notch- Tachibana, have you seen any suspicious customers?

Tachibana: Surprisingly enough, no.

Yoshioka: Are you sure? No men who looked like they might be kidnappers?

Udagawa: Wait- I think I see some suspicious people coming in now!

Everyone takes a look.

Tachibana: No, they’re just random distraction characters. You know, I’m pretty sure kidnappers aren’t all that obvious to spot.

Udagawa: But this is the way the police have always proceeded! We have no other leads!

The day comes to an end, and apart from Chikage searching for a customer’s lost contact on the floor, little of note happens.

(Tachibana: Come on, plot development- we don’t have much time left!)


Tachibana falls into a Flashback Mode about high school.

Friend #1: I don’t know what it is about Ono, but he makes my heart beat a little faster!

Friend #2: I’m not even HARD GAY, but I’d pick him over an ugly girl any day!

Tachibana: Shut up! HARD GAY is evil! Flashback Mode squared!

Tachibana has a Flashback Mode within a Flashback Mode about how his kidnapper hugged him and called him a cute boy.

Ironically, back in the present, a suspicious woman comes by.

Tachibana: We’re actually closed, but as you’re probably important to the plot, please come and buy some cakes.

Woman: Oh, thank you.

Udagawa: Hmm, nothing suspicious here.

The woman seems a bit nervous and weak.

Tachibana: Are you okay? Would you like a rest, or maybe a lift home?

Woman: Oh no, you might find the kidnapped boy- er, I mean, everything’s fine.

Tachibana: Please- I insist.

In the end, Tachibana gets his way and gives the woman a lift. As she enters her suspiciously darkened house, a scream can be heard.

Tachibana: Is that your child?

Woman: Er, yes- he must just be playing a game or something.

The woman rushes into the house and tries to slam the door, but Tachibana holds it open.

(Tachibana: Something seems amiss here- if only I could put my finger on it.)

Tachibana enters the house.

Woman: No, don’t come in! Stop! Listen to my ineffectual pleas!

Driven on by Flashback Modes about being forced to eat strawberries and possibly have HARD GAY with his captor, Tachibana starts searching the house. He finally reaches the Door of Fate.

Tachibana: Open the door! The series is almost over and we must resolve this!

The door opens and the latest abducted boy runs out. Shortly after, the kidnapper emerges, but it is just a young man.

Tachibana: You’re not the real kidnapper! Zetsubou shita!