Ginga Densetsu Weed parody: episode five

Whilst our heroes stand over the body of Smith, the monster dog emerges. Nameless unimportant subordinate dogs run away.

GB: Oh great, it’s still alive- Smith just sacrificed himself for no good reason.

Monster: They’ve cast a VA for me at last, and that means it’s time to hear the tragic story that will add depth to my character. Enter Flashback mode!

Scene dissolves to flashback.

Monster: For years they experimented on me, somehow turning me from regular dog into giant monster. In all that time, my only friend was Jerome- he was the one who helped me through the pain and suffering.

Back to the present.

Monster: But if you think that should make me an object of pity, think again! I want to kill and eat all humans for what they did to me!

Jerome: You should have taken it like a man, er, dog! Humans are the best friends a dog could have!

Jerome and his team attack the monster and lure it a few metres away for no good purpose.

Jerome: Robert, are you ready to commence the plan?

Robert: I’m a boring brown dog who only got a name this episode- of course I’m willing to sacrifice my life.

Robert fastens his teeth on the monster’s skinless chest. The monster rips him off, tearing off a section of his own skin in the process.

Jerome: Good start, Robert, sorry about the whole ‘dying for the cause’ thing. Rocca, you’re up next.

Rocca sacrifices his life in a similar fashion to enlarge the monster’s wound. Minutes later, Hoiler does the same.

Jerome: My squad is gone, so it’s my turn!

Jerome fastens himself squarely inside the monster’s open wound, hoping to rip out his heart.

Weed: Jerome!

Ken: It’s okay, kid, his picture’s in the OP- he can’t die yet.

Jerome and the monster tussle for a while, before falling down a cliff. On closer inspection, the monster is climbing back up with Jerome in his jaws.

Monster: Stay back, or I’ll kill an important character!

Kagetora: It looks like my time to shine has come- I know I’m not an important character in this story, so I might as well die helping to take the enemy down, just as my previously unmentioned grandfather did.

As the monster climbs back onto level ground, Kagetora attacks. The monster tosses Jerome aside; he falls back down and lands in a river conveniently placed to cushion his fall.

Ken: I’m an expendable character too, so I might as well go down with you, Kagetora!

Ken attacks the monster.

Weed: Main character finishing blow!

Weed hits the monster between the eyes- he, Ken, Kagetora and the monster all fall back down the cliff.

Weed: I don’t care about the rest of you, but I’m a main character! I can’t possibly die here.

GB: Sorry kid, time’s up- we’ll have to resolve this next episode.

And here I thought this was only going to be a two-parter.

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One Response to Ginga Densetsu Weed parody: episode five

  1. Evian says:

    Funny! I’m enjoying all of your parodies!! Just two things, Akatora is Kagetora’s uncle, not grandfather. And I’ve never really thought of Kagetora and Ken being expendible characters seeing as they made it all the way to the last episode.

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