Ginga Densetsu Weed parody: episode thirteen

Weed’s party stands on a lake shore as they decide where to go next.

Rocket: Since we need to recruit all 108 stars to get the good ending, I should lead you to a place where we can get more brown dogs.

Jerome: Wait a minute; it might be better for the storyline if we go for the Ninja Dogs of Kogu first.

Ken, Kagetora, Nobutora and Harutora arrive.

GB: Ken, Kagetora, are these the only dogs you managed to find?

Kagetora: Of course not; the bulk of our forces (numbering five fighters and two golden oldies) have gone to Gajou. Whilst they carry out their part of the storyline, I think we should try to recruit the Ninja Dogs to our cause. They say their leader is a character from the OP- Tesshin.

Ken: As backstory, I should explain that Tesshin was originally intended to succeed Gin and the others- before Weed was born, of course. Gin, John and Akame all taught him special abilities.

Weed: Come on, let’s go and meet him.

Cut to Gajou. The advance forces are gone, but on the horizon, Genba (Hougen’s brother) is leading a massive force, of black, black and white, white and brown dogs to storm Gajou. Kurotora, Buru, Dodo, Shouji and Shigure (the tiger striped forces) prepare to mount a resistance.

Kurotora: As REAL MEN, we can never back down from a fight. We’ll rip through these forces and then head north to recruit the ‘big four’, dogs destined to join the 108 stars.

Akame arrives.

Akame: Kurotora, you can’t be thinking of sacrificing yourself- not when you brought four cannon fodder dogs along.

Kurotora: Akame, you are a God Mode dog from an earlier anime, but don’t let that go to your head. I want to get ripped apart here!

Shouji: Sorry uncle, but your part in the story isn’t over yet.

Shouji takes Kurotora by surprise and tosses him over to Akame.

Shouji: Uncle, Akame, Mel, you jump in the river and swim to safety. We’ll sacrifice ourselves here- I mean, follow you in a moment.

Akame, Kurotora and Mel jump in the river, surprisingly enough. Conveniently, they wash up next to Ben’s party.

Meanwhile, Shouji and the others prepare to take on a force many times their number.

Shouji: Basically, what we’ll do is rip through the enemy whilst being taken down one by one, until the last survivor makes a break for it and gets through to recruit the ‘big four’.

With that in mind, the four dogs make their attack. Buru, Dodo and Shouji are all brought down one after another, leaving only Shigure. Just as it seems as if Shigure has made it, however, Ginba blocks his path.

Ginba: As a mid-boss, I can’t be defeated just yet, but there’s nothing to stop me killing you! Battle start!

Shigure: Turn one- Snow Screen!

Shigure sends a spray of snow into Ginba’s eyes, but is pinned down anyway.

Shouji: Final attack!

Shouji suddenly finds the strength to deflect Ginba so that Shigure can escape.

Shigure: Fallen brothers, my Fighting Spirit is up by three points thanks to your sacrifices.

Ginba tosses the other three tiger striped dogs into the river.

Ginba: Victory is ours, just as anyone could have predicted- for now the heroes will spend several episodes trying to besiege and recover this place later in the series.

Downstream, Akame etc retrieve Shouji, Dodo and Shigure’s bodies from the river.

Akame: Wow, who could have possibly imagined that your nephews would do such a thing? Probably all the viewers of the show predicted it, but we never saw it coming.

Meanwhile, Weed and the others have reached the Ninja village, as inhabited by grey dogs and Tesshin.

Weed: Tesshin, I have to go through this every time I meet a new companion, so let’s keep it short- you’re in the OP, and I’d like you to join my party.

Tesshin: I’m sorry, but normal procedure has to be followed. Our elder is sick, and even though it won’t do any good, I feel that I should stay with him. It’s all to do with something that happened in Nagareboshi Gin, but let’s not go into that.

Weed: Oh right, I understand how this works now…I let things take their course and you’ll join me eventually anyway. See you later.

As Weed and the others leave, the elder emerges.

Elder: Look, let’s forget about promises and stuff- you’ve got an important role to play in this series, so you might as well get on with it.

Tesshin: Sure thing, I didn’t really want to hang around here anyway.

Elder: Good lad- now, your task isn’t to join the main party, but to go and rescue Gin so that pure-hearted Weed will be able to attack the final boss without worrying about his father.

Tesshin: Consider it done.

Will Tesshin pull off his daring rescue of Gin? Will Weed gather the dogs he needs to fill all the names on the stone tablet of the 108 stars? Find out in the next exciting episode of Ginga Densetsu Weed! (Oh, come on, we all know the answer to both is ‘yes’.)

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