Hougen is disappointed to learn that Akame’s team prevented his soldiers from retrieving any women.
Hougen: Listen, I don’t care if there are only three women in the series! I have needs, you know!
Genba: Let’s kill these failures and be done with it.
Hougen: No, brother, I have a better idea. We need to appoint strong generals to bring me my women, and what better way to find them than by holding a tournament?
Genba: You’re right; everyone shounen action series needs a tournament of some sort.
Cut to Kyoushiro and his brown dogs; they are observing Weed’s party from afar, but have yet to pluck up the courage to rejoin the group. Mel approaches them.
Mel: Oops, these guys might be enemies. I’d better make a big show of hiding myself.
Kyoushiro: Hey kid, are you a spy?
Mel: Oh no, better run for it!
Mel runs towards Weed’s party. Kyoushiro follows.
Weed: Kyoushiro, you’re back! I was wondering where you got to.
Kyoushiro: Is it really okay for me to come back? I did say some pretty harsh things last episode, after all.
Hiro: What, are you still harping on about that? That was two days ago, it’s ancient history now. Weed forgives everyone so he’ll have no problem accepting you back in the group.
Kyoushiro: It just doesn’t feel quite right to me.
Weed: Okay then, Kyoushiro, let’s have one of those pointless macho making-up rituals where I give you the canine equivalent of a good punch in the face and then we’re both the best of friends again.
Kyoushiro: Sounds good to me.
Weed head butts Kyoushiro; all is well again. The party moves on a little way.
Weed: So anyway, Mel, why are you here?
Mel: Akame sent me to tell you that Hougen’s forces have taken over Gajou and turned into their final stronghold of EVILZ.
Everyone is shocked.
GB: Hang on, we’re all acting surprised, but didn’t we pretty much find out about this last episode?
Rocket: Never mind about that, we need to mount an attack.
Weed: No need to be hasty; there’s eight episodes left after this one. There’s a save and restore point here, so everyone should rest up and regain their HP whilst I choose the party members for my scouting operation. Rocket, GB, Tesshin, Kyoushiro- you’re with me; Ken, Kagetora, you’ll be in charge until we get back.
Weed’s scouting party leaves; cut to Gajou, where the fighting tournament is in its closing stages. A large brown dog, Toube, has just defeated his generic brown opponent.
Hougen: Come on Toube, prove yourself worthy by killing him!
Kamakiri: has it occurred to you that slaughtering our own forces isn’t really a good move in the long term?
Hougen: If you want better developed villains, go and watch something else.
Toube kills the brown dog.
Hougen: Well done. You shall be one of my four generals. Now go with Genba and find me some women.
Genba and Toube head back to the human settlement. Akame’s group notices them, but before they can decide to do, Shigure and his newly recruited group of grey and black dogs run straight into the two evilz bosses.
Genba: I remember you- good to see you’ve brought some grey and black dogs, I’d tired of killing browns.
Shigure: My team and I will avenge my fallen brothers!
Akame, Hook and Kurotora join the party.
Genba: You lesser dogs are nothing! Bring me some more important characters!
Weed’s scouting party arrives.
Genba: That’s better- battle start!
The lesser dogs from each side engage each other.
Genba: Now that those lower ranked dogs are out of the way, let’s begin the only type of battle fit for a REAL MAN- the one-on-one Dynasty Warriors 4 style duel!
Double battle: Toube (Level 62) vs. Weed and Genba (Level 80) vs. Tesshin. Genba appears little match for Tesshin, but Shigure joins the battle for good measure. Weed defers his match to beat off lesser dogs and free up the new grey and black allies.
Grey/black allies: Drill attack!
Three grey and black dogs use a spinning drill attack on Toube.
Weed: Genba, just give up and surrender to us!
Genba: You fool, this is far from over- for just when evilz seems about to be defeated, reinforcements always arrive to turn the tide!
As if on cue (which, let’s face it, they are), Kamakiri’s reinforcement squad arrives.
Genba: Now you shall be owned instead.
Akame: I think not, for destiny is on the side of good.
A convenient blizzard starts up, forcing the Hougen forces to withdraw. The side of good regroups.
Tesshin: Weed, we finished off Genba for you…oh, don’t worry, since you don’t like we didn’t kill him, we just left him horribly maimed instead. He’s probably in incredible pain, but the important thing is that he’s still alive.
Kamakiri’s forces tend to Genba, who kills a greyish brown dog in his rage and anger.
Kamakiri: Looks like one of the big three is gone, unless he returns to battle as insane berserker dog.
Will the wait for the next episode to be subbed prove too much? Will the suspense drive us as insane as Genba? I have to say, it seems doubtful.
No dogs were harmed in the making of these parodies.