.hack//Roots 15: who needs to watch anime anymore?

Through fourteen episodes of suffering, it has come to my attention that .hack//Roots isn’t much good, or, to be brutally honest, it is a tedious pile of crap. In that vein, I have upheld my resolution not to watch any more of the series, however, to ease the pain of those who are, I shall use screencaps from each episode to tell an original, and hopefully much improved, version of the story.

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Bereft of the Twilight Brigade, Tabby wonders if Yu-gi-oh would provide a sustainable income.

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In the end, Tabby settles on a more lucrative career as a travelling performer, and recruits Wool and Cashmere to her cause.

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Meanwhile, Kuhn consults Phyllo on the best way to make his big comeback to the entertainment scene.

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Tabby’s group rehearses for their first performance, but something is missing is from their act.

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On Phyllo’s advice, Kuhn decides to lend his skills to Tabby’s group.

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Kuhn immediately sets a harsh training regime to make sure everyone is on top form for their debut.

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Despite his efforts, the first rehearsal is a disaster.

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Afflicted with an Ahn mushi, Kuhn wonders if they can possibly be ready in time.

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The big day arrives; the general mood is upbeat but tense.

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A guest performer is called onstage for the first stunt.

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Cashmere and Wool initiate the move.

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The act comes off perfectly to great audience acclaim.

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Relieved at how well things went off, Kuhn challenges Tabby to a friendly Yu-gi-oh match.

Next week

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Taihaku decides it is time for some renovations.

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“Does my face look big in this?”

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Pai wonders if raising the dead could raise her profile.

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Phyllo and Tabby catch up with Haseo as he throws up after his latest drug binge.

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