Against all the odds, Tuesday Rumble is finished on time for its second week of life, in between fresh bouts of Utawarriors on “Very Hard” difficulty (insane and chaotic, but extremely fun).
Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha StrikerS
First it was a Hayate OVA, but now the news has crystallised- a third season of Nanoha, StrikerS, is on its way, taking place in the “six years later” timeline of reduced loli. Upon hearing this, I immediately thought of something incredibly apt I could write about Nanoha for Tuesday Rumble, but have since forgotten and have had to come up with something else. Thus I present “Predictions for StrikerS”.
· A new evil will emerge, with six to eight underlings covering personality types such as “hot head”, “shy boy who turns to the side of good by episode eight”, “cool knight”, “healer”, “perverted old man” and “furry”. Their goal is to destroy all of spacetime, and Japan in particular.
· By the end, the final boss villain will be revealed to have merely been misunderstood, and the underlings will join the side of good.
· Yuuno, Arf, Chrono, Lindy, Signum, Vita, Shamal and Zafira will have about five minutes of screen time between them.
· Nanoha, Fate and Hayate will upgrade their weapons, and stand about in battles letting Raging Heart Excelion++ Super Version, Bardiche Ultimate Lightning Power Up Level 99 and Reinforced Reinforce do all the actual fighting.
· Episode 7 will be a beach episode, complete with swimsuits.
· One of the three magical girls will get seriously injured but will be completely healed half an episode later; another one will angst about fighting and try to bring a peaceful resolution by changing the villains’ long held beliefs with three sentences about love and justice.
Aria the Natural episode 23: Aria the Yakuza
This gondola is clearly designed for carrying large quantities of stolen goods.
The figures in the foreground are clearly suspicious, one even has a trademark convict’s striped shirt.
Aria teams up with a new partner in crime.
An exchange is made between two factions, note the violin cases.
Aria reaps the benefits of the criminal lifestyle.
Unpleasant Moment of the Week: There were many contenders for this crown- excessive Chokotto fanservice, the blood-drenched battlefields of Utaware 22, Kemonozume’s lack of bowel control, Shion’s torture chamber of fun in Higurashi, the eyeballs of Mushishi 25 and the Utawarerumono doujin- but first place can go to none other than Ginga Nagareboshi Gin episode one, for the scene in which Grandpa tries to get Riki to eat him by forcing his hand down the dog’s throat.
Mask-Wearer of the Week: Whilst Utawarerumono’s Hakuoro used masks to anonymously build his own harem, and Twin Spica’s Lion-san donned one for no apparent reason whatsoever, the true winner is SaiMono’s Kou Kijin, the master of fashionable facewear.
Cheesy J-Pop theme of the Week: All of last week’s contenders have fallen from grace, leaving only Brand New Morning (Kamisama Kazoku) and Hishoku no Sora (Shakugan no Shana) to share the crown.
Series Least Deserving of its Second Season: This award was created specifically for Jigoku Shoujo, a series which took a potentially interesting idea and turned it into a sleep-inducing morass of tedium that proved you only need one storyline to fill twenty-six episodes. For those who are still suffering from insomnia, however, there’s another chance to enjoy thirteen more weeks of sleep this autumn.
Special Feature- UtaWarriors Revisited
A while ago, I wrote a FAQ for the Utawarerumono battle game, which necessitated playing the game to death (and then finding out there were still things I had missed). During that time, it annoyed me that characters such as ‘Generic Archer’ and ‘Leaf Mascot’ were playable when certain named characters were absent. To that end, I have compiled a list of suggested improvements to the Utawarriors game, in the unrealistic hope that one day a patch will be released that will address them.
New gaming features
‘Remix’ difficulty level: Switch to remix to change the layout of some of the stages. Nuwangi is now a mid-boss on Stages B and C, whilst Sasante and Inkara are the final bosses for B and C respectively. For Stage E, Hau and Hien are now mid-bosses, whilst Kuuya is the final boss. Niwe’s three generals replace Orikakan as the mid-boss on Stage F.
Free mode: Replay any already-completed stage.
Stupidly ambitious requests: Individual story modes for each character (more specific details on these to follow next week), more item types, secret areas, some sort of purpose for Flip Screen mode.
Hauenkua: Out of his mecha, Hauenkua wields a rapier with a speed comparable to Touka’s. His special is a forward sweep with a slightly weaker version of the Touka/Genji instant kill finisher.
Hien: Also freed from his mecha, Hien wields a spear. His special is a 360° spear swing that damages the enemy and knocks them back.
Kuuya: The final character to step out of her mecha, Kuuya wields a broadsword in a series of sweeping and elegant strikes. Her special is a forward sweep that leads into a downward blow and ice attack.
Sakuya: Sakuya is a swift attacker who uses a pair of twin daggers. Her special attack is a series of sweeping strikes.
Munto: An average all rounder, Munto attacks using a scroll. He has mid-strength water and light based magic attacks, and a weak special similar to a four-way version of Urotorii’s special.
Waabe: The Onkamiyamukai leader is a powerful magic user- his two elements are ice (ice needles target the enemy from above) and earth (earth fingers appear from the ground and crush the enemy in their grip). His default attack is a small dark energy ball, whilst his special is a large Ultima-esque bomb.
Bonahoi: Bonahoi (better known as the guy screaming “help me!” when the Avu Kamuu attacked at the beginning of episode 21) uses a boomerang to attack (think DW’s Zhu Rong). He normally holds it onto it for short range attacks, but throws it for his jump attack and special.
Sopoku: Teoro’s wife attacks using a wooden staff. Her special summons Teoro to fight alongside her for a limited period of time.
Scientist: A scientist from the past era, Scientist uses an incongruous looking laser gun to attack. His special summons a random monster- either a stone statue, slime or zombie- to attack by his side until it gets defeated.
Inkara: A cross between Haku and Sasante, the Afro Emperor is slow, fat and wields a short range fan. For his jump attack, he launches on top of an enemy and crushes them; in his special, he creates a shockwave by jumping up and down.
Chikinaru: The merchant-assassin carries a short dagger with low range but high speed. For his special, he hurls a vial containing explosive substances.
Mikoto: Mikoto’s basic attacks are short range hand-to-hand strikes (think an upgraded Eruruu), but for her special she can hurl throwing stars in a stronger version of Suon’s special.
Tusukuru: Grandma attacks the enemy with her mortar and pestle. Her special creates a poison cloud that causes progressive damage for all who touch it.
Kamuchataaru: The new girl in the PS2 version of the game; her abilities will be based on whatever she uses in that game.
Mutikapa: Mutikapa uses claws and teeth to attack, but can also crush enemies with her jump attack. Her special is a long charge.
Yaapu, Uuhamatamu+Taanakun: The three villagers are usable as a single unit, using basic tools such as picks and hoes to attack the enemy. Their special is a three point ‘delta attack’.
Katoumau: Katomau wields a spiked ball on the end of a chain. For his special, he swings it around several times.