Harukanaru Toki no Naka De parody episode 2

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Akane meets up with Princess Fuji.

Fuji: Main character, consider me at your service. I will handle exposition and explanation for you, the Ryuujin no Miko.

Akane: Me?

Fuji: Yes, for you are the lead, and that makes you more suited to saving this small land floating in the middle of nowhere than anyone who lives here. Now, let’s save some budget by indulging in a flashback to last episode.

A flashback is briefly seen.

Akane: Yes, yes, I remember that, but you don’t understand! I need to angst for a while before I accept my role.

Fuji: You cannot ignore the call of DESTINY- and besides, there are lots of bishounen involved.

Cut to Yorihisa and Shimon- Yorihisa is slicing bamboo targets.

Yorihisa: No piece of bamboo will ever get the better of me!

Shimon: Tenma…

Yorihisa: Oh, I forgot to mention this before, but I’ve actually sent out men to search for him.

Whilst Fuji continues with the exposition, some generics arrive with Tenma’s school jacket. Ominously, it has been slashed partway down.

Yorihisa: This looks like a job for main characters- I will go and investigate.

Akane: Shimon and I will be useless, so we’ll tag along too.

Shimon: Actually, I had better stay behind. Everyone here is jealous of my loli shota looks, and the fact that my appearance will never age.

Akane: Okay, then, you stay behind- no one cares much about you anyway.

Akane follows Yorihisa out of the castle grounds.

Shimon: I am sure I can protect Akane-chan just by standing here and using my angst power.

Somehow, Akane ends up in the marketplace again, where a red-haired wannabe bishie, Inori, directs her to the river. She completely fails to notice that Tenma is there, alive and well.

Tenma: Akane will come back to me eventually, so in the meantime, I should make some cold hard cash.

Akane wanders around aimlessly and indulges in more budget saving flashbacks. A snake comes up to her.

Snake: The master is waiting for you.

Akane: Okay then, I’ll just randomly follow this talking snake.

Akane is led to Akram.

Akane: Oh, hello again. Can you help me find Tenma?

(Akram: This girl is more stupid than I imagined! It will take all my skill to appear idiotic enough to lose to her.)

Meanwhile, Tenma and Inori eat at a restaurant.

(Tenma: I hope Akane is eating well- if she gets too thin, she will not be able to withstand my punishment.)

Tenma enters a double flashback mode- first thinking of a time in the school cafeteria with Akane, and then remembering how he was attacked by a sword-wielding generic when he first came to Kyou. After bravely running away, Tenma defeats the generic, but his sword keeps moving.

Sword: In case you couldn’t figure it out from the way I was glowing, I am a cursed sword.

Tenma: You can’t hurt me, I’m a main character!

Sword: Oops, you got me there.

The spirit possessing the sword leaves. The defeated generic hands over his outer clothing to Tenma.

Tenma: Who knows how long it’s been since he’s washed these? Never mind, I’ll just wear them until the end of the series.

Back in the present, Akram is talking to Akane.

Akram: You may have already noticed that I tend to talk for ages about irrelevant things, and that is simply because I love the sound of my own voice. I do not have many listeners back home, for among the demon race many were killed, and only a handful ever appear onscreen.

At the palace, Eisen plays the flute for his brother, the Emperor.

Emperor: Such sweet playing as always, Brother, I long to feel the caress of your ‘instrument’ again tonight.

Eisen: Of course, Your Highness.

Emperor: Just call me brother when we aren’t playing our little games.

Tomomasa arrives, and Eisen leaves.

(Eisen: Why must I share my brother with another man?)

Meanwhile, Akram is still talking to Akane.

Akram: Everyone else you meet here is worthless. None of them can compare to me. If you entrust your body to me, I will let you experience a fraction of my greatness.

An ominous bolt of lightning strikes and Yorihisa arrives.

Akram: I could easily take you with me, but we have many more episodes to fill, so I will just go back to my lair now.

Tenma has landed a job waving a stick around at a tavern.

Tenma: This is exactly my kind of job- easy on the brain, tough on other people.

Tenma wanders outside, and encounters Yorihisa forcibly taking Akane back to the castle.

Akane: Let me go! I want to go and see the main villain!

Tenma: Get your hands off my woman!

Tenma and Yorihisa start fighting. A blue gem appears on Tenma’s arm, and the light of DESTINY shines as they clash.

Yorihisa: The light of DESTINY! We are both main characters!

Tomomasa appears to smooth things over.

(Tenma: Oh great, another man after my woman.)

Shimon arrives.

Shimon: Tenma! I’ve missed you so much!

Tenma: Shimon! My favourite whipping-boy!

As Tenma and Shimon experience a happy reunion, we are given glimpses of the other OP bishies in order to reaffirm their existence. Akane stands outside and angsts about Akram for a little while.

To be continued…

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