Tuesday Rumble: September 19th

The loss of a hard drive filled with data would be a serious blow to anyone, and it seemed to be one I was set to experience after my 250 GB external drive started acting up. Thankfully, for once I had the foresight to order another one (thus rendering it out of stock) before the first one died completely, and for once it actually arrived at my house reasonably promptly. Admittedly it lacks an on/off button and is not as aesthetically pleasing as the first, but more importantly, it actually works.

Meanwhile, I’ve had to change some regional settings to Japanese in order to play the Fate/Stay Night demo version (ironically, the translated demo), and now Japanese is taking over my computer. Even the backslash in filenames has turned into a yen sign.

Mini-Bites

How to write an anime movie

Spurred on by my recent viewing of both the Keroro Gunso and Ah! My Goddess movies, I have decided that the time has come to produce my own guide to writing anime movies:

1. At the start of the film, the protagonists are seen to be enjoying a typical day- inevitably their peace will be interrupted later on.

2. Although it was not important enough to be mentioned in any preceding series or OVA, an incredibly evil destructive power will break free from its seal. This evil will have some past connection with a main character, and likes to indiscriminately kill generics.

3. At this point, a newcomer with a detailed character design will make themselves known to the heroes. Although they seem obviously suspicious, only the most paranoid of characters will question their motives. The other leads will ignore the advice of their friend and immediately trust the newcomer.

4. As the great evil makes itself known and the fight begins, every single recurring character from the series/OVA will appear.

5. If there is time in the latter half of the film, at least one hero will undergo a brief angst phase in which they wonder if they can combat this evil. This angst will most likely empower the evil.

6. After the newcomer is revealed to be a servant of evil, the main villain comes forward to explain their plans. These will most often involve destroying the world/galaxy/universe, or creating a new, better world/galaxy/universe by destroying the current one. At this point, the newcomer may choose to betray the evil and aid the heroes.

7. Just as it seems as if the main villain cannot be defeated, the powers of love and friendship will gift the main character with a final attack that can put everything right again. A brief flashback scene may occur to show how the villain was merely misguided, whilst the newcomer goes away to reflect on their wrongdoings.

8. At the end, the status quo is restored for all our heroes. If there is a main couple, they reaffirm their feelings for each other, and dismiss any arguments they had during the course of the film.

Honey and Clover II episode 11

Continuing the recent trend of Honey and Clover related posts, the time has come to treat episode 11 with the respect it deserves, i.e. to pretend it didn’t happen parody it.

Shuu and Morita fight the deciding match in the Loli and Clover tournament.

Shuu claims his prize.

A series of flashbacks shows us that Shuu groomed Hagu from an early age.

Morita and Takemoto battle it out for second place.

After realising that there is no prize for second prize, Morita and Takemoto decide to forget their differences and turn to the only option they have left- HARD GAY.

Secure in his victory, Shuu refuses to be bought off by Morita.

Utawarerumono Empires
You may or may not have noticed that I like to write about Utawarerumono, and this week, I will be showcasing ‘Utawarerumono Empires’, the currently nonexistent game that the franchise deserves. As the name suggests, this is an empire building strategy game in which you pick a hero and faction, and use them to conquer the world. Each character has their own individual starting scenario, but from then on they can choose to climb in status, claim rulership over their own empire, and even recruit enemy heroes to serve under them (all depending on choices made and ‘affection score’ with different characters). The game features an online mode against human players, and an offline mode where the computer controls all opponents.

Factions

Kenashirukouru – Inkara, Sasante, Nuwangi, Benawi, Kurou

Yamayura village – Hakuoro, Eruruu, Aruruu, Tusukuru, Teoro, Sopoku, three villagers

Yamayura region- Oboro, Dorii, Guraa, Yuzuha

Onkamiyamukai- Waabe, Urotorii, Kamyu, Munto

Evinkuruga tribe- Genjimaru, Touka

Shikeripetim- Niwe, three generals

Kuccha Keccha- Orikakan, Touka

Karurauatsuurei- Karura, Derihourai, Katoumau

Na-tunk- Suonkasu

Kunnekamun- Kuuya, Hauenkua, Hien, Genjimaru, Sakuya

Erumui, Nosechika etc alliance- Kanhorudari, Bonahoi

Unaligned- Dii, Mutsumi, Chikanaru

Weekly Awards- Now with added spoilers for Utawarerumono and Higurashi

Long-Eared Mascot of the Week: Since the days of Ryo-Ohki, the long eared cabbit type mascot has been a fixture of anime, and thus demands an award. It should come as no surprise that the winner of this prize is none other than xxxHOLiC scene stealer black Mokona, with white Mokona in second place and Kyupi (Otogi-jushi Akazukin TV) and With (DNAngel) trailing far behind.

Cheesy J-Pop theme of the Week: Since I heard the full version for the first time last week, Brand New Morning (Kamisama Kazoku) regains the spotlight, with Innocent Starter (Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha) also making a comeback to stand alongside Believe and Anna ni Isshoni Datta no ni (Gundam Seed).

Disturbing Relationship of the Week: From the proposed marriage of eleven year old Charlotte to a much older man in Rose of Versailles to possessed Aki’s pursuit of his sister Aya in Ceres, over the years many candidates have sprung up to briefly take this crown. In more recent times, however, nothing can beat Honey and Clover’s double team of creepy ‘couples’- not only is there Mayama’s relentless pursuit of Rika, but now we have Shuu’s payoff as Hagu becomes ripe for returning his affections.

Blood Soaked Death of the Week: With Higurashi and Utawarerumono airing side by side, bloody deaths are par for the course in the average anime week, and this week those two series share the crown for the cleaving open of Teppei’s head and the dissolution of Genjimaru respectively.

Tea Maker of the Week: Numerous maids have tried their hand at brewing the perfect cup of tea, and even Archer made some for Rin at the beginning of the Fate/Stay Night game, but none of them can match Eruruu, who scoops another award for Utawarerumono’s trophy cabinet. From anime appearances to game scenes, when Eruruu appears, a cup of tea is never far behind.

*New Feature* OST Corner: Vampire Princess Miyu TV OST
Kenji Kawai has racked up an impressive list of music credits, but the only other OST of his that I’ve listened to outside the context of the series is Fate/Stay Night, and apart from a couple of good tracks, it was none too impressive. Fortunately, Vampire Princess Miyu is ‘Fate done right’, managing to achieve ‘atmopheric and haunting’ rather than ‘tiresomely repetition’.

*New Feature* In Your Reflection
Some years ago, I found an interesting site entitled ‘Separated at Birth’ (I would link, but the site seems to have gone) that pointed out several sets of anime ‘twins’, characters with similar appearance, personality and motives. Starting this week in Tuesday Rumble, I will be doing a similar thing- first under the spotlight is Black Blood Brothers’ Kotarou, as he attempts to stack up against blonde shota both past and present.

For some reason I only have shots of Kotarou in pain, probably because a) he’s incredibly annoying, and b) Jirou likes to abuse him. He seems to be part of the ‘apparently incredibly powerful, but useless unless the plot needs him’ class.

Harukanaru’s Shimon represents the class as a whole, gentle, pure, and therefore by extension completely naïve and useless.

8 going on 5…Honey represents the best use of loli shota, as ‘lovely items’ for the strong but silent type.

Momiji betrayed his fellows by growing up in the later chapters of Furuba.

Amusing Search Terms

The hilariously misdirected: strongest wow boss monster, ginga nagareboshi gin figure, gay manganime gay, Touka flying shooter doujin game

The confusing: hack hard

The terrifying: Tsubasa sakura pr0n, pr0n toube, liu bei pr0n