Harukanaru Toki no Naka De parody episode 12


Tomomasa comes over for some late night HARD GAY with Takamichi.

Takamichi: I’m really worried about the Priestess, I mean, what could be worse than having your name written on the bottom of a black pot?

Tomomasa: There’s no need to worry about her; as I said to the emperor earlier, just concentrate on me for tonight.

Takamichi: I can’t help but be concerned, after all, unlike you, I have my gem.

Tomomasa: I’m sure I’ll get one soon. It’s not like the audience haven’t figured out that I’m the last Hachiyou.

(Tomomasa: After listening to Takamichi, I’m not in the mood for HARD GAY with him any more. I think I’ll go an visit a woman instead.)

Tomomasa visits a generic woman, but his mind is distracted by other things.

Woman: Tomomasa-sama, why is it that you never seem to pay much attention to me?

Tomomasa: I’m sorry, but you’re just too generic for me to truly care about you.

In Akram’s lair, Akram sits with Ran’s head in your lap.

Akram: Ran, although I summoned you here years ago and then recently brought Akane to this world, it makes perfect sense that I now have to get rid of Akane and turn you into the Ryuujin no Miko.

Yorihisa escorts Akane to Abe no Seimei’s residence.

Akane: What’s going to happen to me? Will Ran kill me and take my place as main character?

At the manor, Tenma argues with Fuji.

Fuji: I’m sorry, Tenma, but according to my Big Book of Exposition, once a curse of this type has been placed on someone, it cannot be removed.

Tenma: Ridiculous! Akane can’t die- she’s the main character! And my sister is an integral part of my harem plans.

Fuji: Please, just leave it to Yasuaki; he’s more competent than you are.

Whilst Tenma angsts for the rest of the afternoon, Yasuaki bathes and purifies himself in preparation for an attempt to remove the curse.

(Yasuaki: Marvel at my bishiness as I stand here in the middle of an outdoor pool!)

That night, Ran reappears in Kyou (it may just be one city, but it’s the place to be).

Ran: I must get rid of the Ryuujin no Miko and take her place, for then I will regain the Hachiyou and the power of Ryuujin. I’m not entirely sure how I can regain something I didn’t have in the first place, but I’m sure it will all work out.

Yasuaki senses Ran’s presence and embraces Akane.

Akane: Yasuaki, are you sure you should do that? Tenma might get angry.

Yasuaki: I am not embracing you out of love, but rather because it will be beneficial to the story to protect your life.

A cold wind of evil starts blowing. The lights go out, and a cheesy snake monster appears.

Monster: Where are youuuuuuuuuuu? Ryuujin no Miko! Where are youuuuuuuuuuu?

(Monster: My spoken dialogue was sooooo cheesy in the original that this parody has not altered it in any waaaay!)

Yasuaki: Through unspecified means, the curse has materialised in this shape.

The monster waves around ineffectually, repeating its chant.

Akane: It’s waving around and talking! This is very scary!

Yasuaki: Leave it to me- Stock Animation Attack!

Yasuaki uses his usual chant, and the curse is reflected back to Ran, who screams.

Yasuaki: Priestess, I have defied Fuji’s Book of Exposition and returned the curse.

Akane: Returned it?

Tenma runs over to the bridge, where Ran has collapsed.

Tenma: Ran, you were only a few feet away from us, and no one noticed!

Akram materialises and picks up Ran.

Akram: Poor girl, stuck with you as a brother for so many years. At least she has my bishiness to look at now.

Tenma: You bastard, she was mine first!

Akram: Well then, I have an interesting proposition for you. What say you trade your Akane for my Ran?

Tenma: That’s not fair! They should both be mine!

Akram: Really Tenma, you must learn to share- or better yet, accept that I am your superior in all ways. Now, marvel at my amazing powers as I teleport away, leaving a glowing red portal that you can use to reach my mid-boss dungeon!

Akram and Ran disappear.

Akane: Yasuaki, you knew that this would happen to Ran….she only tried to kill me, why did you have to hurt her!?

Yasuaki: It is my duty to protect the main character.

Yasuaki walks away.

Akane: I’m going to go to Akram. He seems like a trustworthy type, so I’m sure he’ll happy honour the deal- and if not, we can have a storyline where everyone tries to rescue me.

Akane walks towards the portal. Yorihisa and Tenma stand and watch.

Yorihisa: No, don’t go! The faint red light is too bright for my eyes, or I would try to stop you more actively.

A bizarre horselike creature emerges from the portal. Akane floats towards it and is carried away on its back. Tenma tries to go after her, but the portal closes up.

Tenma: Akane! You’d better not think you can get away from me!

All the Hachiyou are troubled by the disappearance of Akane, who is now lying unconscious at Akram’s feet in a field of flowers.

Akram: I have access to a location as beautiful as this, and yet I prefer to spend most of my time in a dark and dismal cave.

To be continued…

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