Eisen visits his brother.
Emperor: Thank goodness you were all able to get back safely, Eisen, or I would have been deprived of bishies to share my bed. Now all we need is for the Four Gods- Tomomasa said last episode that they would return eventually by themselves, but since that renders the series pointless, let’s pretend it didn’t happen.
A mysterious white rainbow is seen in the sky just as Tomomasa arrives.
Generic: Oh no, a white rainbow! We’re all going to die!
Tomomasa: Never fear, the bishies are here. I am sure we can pool our destined powers to deal with this threat.
Emperor: So you were a destined bishounen after all, Tomomasa? I would never have guessed.
(Emperor: There goes my last hope of getting a gem and becoming an important character.)
At the manor, Tenma moves in with the security guards.
(Tenma: This way, I get to wave a big stick around all the time. Come to think of it, though, where exactly was I supposed to be living before? I just pointlessly ran around all the time.)
Meanwhile, Akane has gone to visit Ran, who is at Abe no Seimei’s house.
Yasuaki: Through unspecified means, I have magically removed the evil of the Black Dragon- at least until the plot demands that it returns.
Ran wakes up.
Ran: Today I don’t remember anything about my painfully traumatic ordeal, and so I am on the side of the good.
Akane: Hello, I’m Akane, Tenma’s friend. I only recently learned that he even had a sister.
Back at the manor, Fuji is worried about Akane.
Fuji: The priestess isn’t back yet? But I wanted to be HARD YURI with her!
Tenma: I’m afraid she’s out with Yorihisa.
Inori: Shouldn’t you be worried that she’s with another man?
Tenma: There’s no need to worry- Yorihisa is my bitch now. He won’t touch his master’s possessions.
Fuji: This is bad. If she stays too long in the company of men, her pure soul will become corrupted. I’d better write a letter advising her to stay with a HARD YURI friend of mine.
Kotengu: You can’t trust the main characters to deliver that letter- leave it to a useless comedy sidekick like myself.
Somehow, Fuji is able to write the letter and send it off with Kotengu without anyone realising what she is doing until she explains herself after the event.
Yasuaki bids farewell to Yorihisa and Akane.
Akane: Yasuaki, there’s no need to remind Ran of that whole Black Dragon thing. I mean, the last thing we want is for her to try to take my place as the main character again.
Kotengu arrives with the letter from Fuji. Akane and Yorihisa dutifully go to the friend’s house. Akane is taken to a secluded room.
Akane: If just shut myself in a room of a stranger’s house, nothing can possibly go wrong.
A rainstorm occurs whilst some budget-saving stills are seen. Indoors, Akane talks to Yorihisa.
Akane: Sorry, I’ve been talking about myself for ages. You must be bored.
(Yorihisa: Of course I’m bored! You’re such a dull person.)
Yorihisa: Oh, not really.
Akane: Now, why don’t you tell me about yourself?
Yorihisa: There’s nothing to tell, really.
(Yorihisa: I am not ready to admit that I am HARD GAY.)
Akane: Oh, okay, I’ll just talk about myself some more; we can even fit in a budget-saving flashback!
Back at the manor, Tenma, Inori and Shimon talk.
Inori: I already have my sister, so I don’t need Akane. Tenma, if you want my helping in obtaining her, you only have to ask.
Tenma: Idiot! It’s meaningless unless you score the woman for yourself. My goal is to make sure Akane stays at home like an obedient woman whilst I go out and do MANLY things.
Meanwhile, Akane is still talking, complete with flashbacks.
Akane: Tenma says I’m clumsy and stupid, and that I should stay at home. Is it really right for me just to stay at home- I mean, as the main character I should be able to go out sometimes.
(Yorihisa: Tenma has made it clear that I am his latest whipping boy, so I’d better support his side of the argument.)
Yorihisa: You should obey Tenma in all things.
(Yorihisa: Oh, what the hell, I might as well come clean about being HARD GAY.)
Yorihisa: Miko-dono, ever since I was young, I have held my ‘sword’ without hesitation. Over the years, however, I have learned that if I am not careful, my ‘sword’ can hurt people- because of that, I have dedicated myself to becoming an experienced man, worthy of servicing Ryuujin himself.
The conversation is interrupted by the sound of a bell.
Yorihisa: That must be a bell of evil! I will fight it!
The candles in Akane’s go out, and a random door opens to let in a white bishie.
Bishie: Ryuujin no Miko, I am the spirit of HARD GAY. I have randomly appeared in this filler episode to give you important information about the plot. A war is coming between good and evil, and it is your job to coordinate the HARD GAY bishies so that they can defeat the demons.
Akane: Wait…there’s a plot?
Bishie: Yes, but all that is important is that the forces of good eventually defeat the forces of evil. Do you think you can manage that?
Akane: I’ll try.
The spirit disappears. Yorihisa rushes in to see what is going on, and collides with Akane as she leaves the room. They end up in a compromising position.
(Yorihisa: Oh no! To be so close to a woman, it just doesn’t feel right!)
Takamichi arrives, and sees the spirit of HARD GAY.
(Takamichi: The spirit of HARD GAY! Tonight will be a good night.)
Takamichi: That must be the spirit of the rainbow. Although it has been established that white rainbows are a bad omen, I am now going to say that they are a good omen.
Akane: So this is your house, Takamichi-san. I wonder why Fuji didn’t bother to mention that.
Takamichi: Some people think I live in the archives, but I do actually have a house.
Later, Akane and the Hachiyou visit Fuji from some exposition.
Fuji: I didn’t bother mentioning this before, but the four gods are actually trapped in magic seals that look a bit like Yu-Gi-Oh cards.
Yasuaki: Only Ryuujin can control the Four Gods, but anyone who has the Yu-Gi-Oh cards can control them.
Fuji: The demons are controlling the Four Gods, but they don’t have the Yu-Gi-Oh cards, so they can’t actually control them. The previously unmentioned Hachiyou who saved the world a hundred years ago hid the cards in a safe place, and now the point of the second half of the series is to find them.
Akane: So each pair of Heaven and Earth Hachiyou needs to the find the card that corresponds to their god!
(Tomomasa: This automatically sorts us out into HARD GAY pairings- and I’m with Takamichi!)
Fuji: Your HARD GAY pairings will be Tenma and Yorihisa, Shimon and Inori, Tomomasa and Takamichi, and Eisen and Yasuaki.
Everyone is excited, but in a distant shed, Sefuru materialises, holding a dull brown rock of evil.
(Sefuru: Hahaha, I will disrupt the HARD GAY!)
To be continued…