Le Chevalier d’Eon parody episode 6


Marie talks to her skull, Belle.

Marie: It seems that d’Eon is still unwilling to unleash the fully fury of his repressed passions. We must make him see the light, for only as a woman can he unlock the keys to the main plot.

Belle: If I help you, will you tell me who my mother is?

Marie: Well, I guess I might do by episode 24.

(Marie: This skull is so gullible- I can make her do whatever I want as long as I vaguely promise to find her mother some day.)

The Four Musketeers visit the King and Broglie.

Broglie: You have done well, but now that your mission is complete, you are relieved of your duties.

D’Eon: But wait, I’m the main character! You can’t fire me!

Broglie: If you would keep quiet for a moment, you would know that I am actually giving you a new mission for the next arc. First though, you must have an episode of contemplation and angst.

The Four Musketeers leave the audience.

Durand: The fact that we are getting time off means that we may not survive this next mission.

D’Eon: What are you talking about? A main character such as myself cannot be put into this danger.

Durand: D’Eon, will you stop going on about being the main character? I’m sure I could beat you in a popularity poll.

Teillagory: He’s just out of sorts because he hasn’t had any HARD GAY in a while.

Durand: I’d like to service you, d’Eon, but I really should meet with my lover while I get the chance.

Durand wanders off.

(Teillagory: He must mean me; I’d better take my leave too.)

Teillagory leaves. Robin and d’Eon return to Musketeer HQ.

D’Eon: Russia is a place of evil foreigners, but if the plot demands it, then I must go there.

Robin: Even though I am a useless sidekick, I shall accompany you.

(D’Eon: His ‘pistol’ is a little short, but I guess he will make good cannon fodder.)

Teillagory goes to visit his son’s grave.

Teillagory: Son, I hoped that you would give me HARD GAY in my old age, but since you died, I was forced to go back out into the world and seek out new partners.

Durand visits Lia’s casket.

Durand: Lia, when you died, my faith in women wavered, but then I found d’Eon. He can bring me both male and female love, so I will stay by his side.

Robin brings some flowers to the Queen. He sees Anna in the hallway.

Anna: Robin, come by my quarters later on.

(Anna: I’ll try anything if it will get me some screen time.)

Robin takes the flowers in to the Queen.

(Robin: Although I try to follow the ways of HARD GAY, I don’t see anything wrong with having an unhealthy obsession with Her Majesty.)

Marie: Robin, I see great potential in you. Be sure you get the screen time you deserve.

D’Eon is given an audience with the Queen.

D’Eon: Your Majesty, I need your help. I have discovered a hidden part of me that seeks to transform into a woman and release my hidden passions. Since you seem like a knowledgeable character, I was hoping that you could help me deal with this.

Marie: To be perfectly honest, I haven’t had a great deal of prior experience with this condition, but my talking skull has told me what to do. You must not fear your inner woman, but instead embrace her- in fact, I have prepared a rather fetching dress for you to wear.

D’Eon: Women’s clothing? I’m not sure I am ready for that.

Marie: The first time is always the hardest, but once you get used to them, you’ll wondered why you ever felt hesitant to put them on.

D’Eon: Well, when you put it that way, I might as well try it.

D’Eon puts on the dress Marie has prepared, along with lipstick and a bonnet. He looks at himself in the mirror.

(D’Eon: I look surprisingly good in this! My mobility is lessened, but it is supportive and comfortable.)

Lia emerges.

Lia: I am more popular than d’Eon, yet I died before the series even began. By manifesting as his suppressed emotions, we can both enjoy a new freedom.

Marie: I need important plot information from you, Lia.

Lia: There is a traitor amongst the named characters. It is…

Belle: That’s all the passion d’Eon can take- he must revert.

Marie: What a suspenseful cliff-hanger; I didn’t even get time for HARD YURI.

D’Eon returns. After getting changed, he goes to collect his next orders.

D’Eon: This is D’Eon de Beaumont- I am ready to get my mission profile for level two.

Broglie appears.

Broglie: Would you mind stopping by the King’s bedchamber first?

Broglie takes D’Eon to see the King.

Louis: D’Eon, you are strong young man- I thought I should enjoy some HARD GAY with you before your long journey to Russia.

After their ‘meeting’, Louis dismisses D’Eon.

Louis: I’m feeling a little tired- is that all the men for tonight?

Broglie: Yes, Your Highness.

D’Eon visits his sister’s casket.

D’Eon: Although you are dead, the siscon is still strong in me.

D’Eon kisses Lia’s corpse on the lips.

Early in the morning, Teillagory, Durand and d’Eon gather together in order to take a carriage to Russia; the driver is the same man who drove Voronzoff to the docks.

Driver: The animators didn’t see any point designing another generic driver, so you’ve got me again. They did give me a little brother, though.

Brother: I’m his little brother.

Robin and Anna arrive. D’Eon talks to Anna privately.

(D’Eon: Not this woman again.)

Anna: Were you just going to let the plot leave me behind without even saying goodbye? I should at least get one last look-in if my screen time is going to be cut short.

D’Eon: I’m sorry, but a HARD GAY trip with my comrades was too good to pass up.

Anna: If only I were a more important character- then I could go with you.

D’Eon: Listen, if everything goes wrong and all my other prospective partners get killed, I’ll come back to you.

D’Eon and Anna say farewell.

To be continued…

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