Chevalier Alternative 19 Part I

Poor Durand has been having some problems with his HARD GAY lately; no matter how hard he tries, he just can’t his sword to respond- and now his beloved partner Teillagory has cheated on him with Lia-d’Eon! Can Durand win back Teillagory by letting him in on an important secret?

Last time on Chevalier…the blood splatter effect was too small to cover Dashwood’s body.

“Why did I order these earrings from the Jewellery Channel when I could have spent the money on a facelift?”

“That’s what comes of trifling with the main character.”

Given the bags under their eyes, everyone is either incredibly exhausted at this point, or has aged ten years due to the life draining effect of showy spells like Space Palace Versailles.

Could these hooded men actually be generics from Mai-Otome’s Schwarz?

Having arrived just late enough to be excused from fighting, Teillagory practises victory poses with his ‘sword’.

Durand eyes Teillagory’s new lover with jealousy.

“Will I ever be able to handle a sword like that again?”

The holy voice of the plot tells the heroes to go to America.

As a bout of morning sickness strikes, Durand realises that he may be pregnant, and tells a shocked Teillagory that he must be the father.

“So anyway, I’ve checked the dates, and I’m sure that it must be you.”

Whilst Durand and Teillagory discuss names for the baby, Robin tries to pick up the book of HARD GAY.

Unfortunately, his HARD GAY level isn’t high enough to permit him access to the book.

“Am I doomed to be a useless sidekick forever?”

“Robin, I have something to tell you. I’m going to be a father.”

“Hmm, perhaps this book has some tips on male pregnancy.”

Durand proves to have mastered HARD GAY to a high enough skill level to permit access to the book.

Lia-d’Eon tries to hide his displeasure when Teillagory proudly boasts that he is going to be a father.

“Would you like to help us pick out names for the baby?”

“I’m more interested in this book of HARD GAY.”

“Everyone should sleep with d’Eon du Beaumont, for he is a studly figure of manhood.”

“Are you quite sure that’s what it says?”

“Unlike Durand, who is rather small down there, d’Eon’s Zhuge Liang is unrivalled in terms of size.”

“Hmm, I suppose it is quite impressive.”

“Nine out of ten HARD GAY men agree that they would rather sleep with d’Eon du Beaumont.”

“Okay, I think we’ve heard enough.”

Robin is entranced by the mystical gate of HARD GAY.

“So, I’m going to be a father…at my age, it’s quite a big commitment.”

Durand realises that his announcement has had the intended effect on Lia-d’Eon and Teillagory’s relationship, and decides to widen the rift.

“You know, I only told Teillagory he was the father to cheer the old man up; you’re the real father.”


“You have to believe me! I checked the dates, and it has to be you.”

“I…I’m going to be a father?”

The shock of this revelation is too much for Lia-d’Eon to take.

(“No one must find out that I don’t know who the real father is.”)

“Poor thing; too much HARD GAY has exhausted him.”

“I’m too broodingly bishie to even need a caption.”

“Now that Robespierre is back, perhaps I can exchange this cheque for some HARD GAY.”

“What do you mean, you don’t want HARD GAY with me anymore?”

“Hmm, I must step up my plans to eliminate HARD GAY from Europe.”

“Ah good, my latest underling has arrived.”

“My lady, I am the ugly generic who will be following you around today.”

“My, you really are poorly designed, aren’t you?”

Everyone anxiously awaits the results of the latest round of The Versailles Factor.

“What do you mean, I’ve been voted off!?”

“Commiserations on your loss, but I guess it goes to show that no one was supporting you.”

“What are you doing here? You’re far too generic, even for an underling!”

Louis admits that reality shows are not much of a substitute for HARD GAY.

“Ah, Robin, can I interest you in some HARD GAY?”

“Hmph, like I’d have HARD GAY with a man who lies about who the father of his child is.”

“Oh come on, I’ll pay you.”

“Well, in that case, maybe I could oblige.”

“And if you could just forget about anything you happened to overhear earlier, that would be even better. I can count on you, can’t I, Robby boy?”

Having received a tip-off that Teillagory may still be cheating on him, Durand decides to trail his lover.

“I don’t look suspicious at all.”


“Teillagory, you’re about to become a father- how could you cheat on me?”

“Durand…I can’t help having doubts over whether I’m really the father…”

“Damn you! How dare you question my word!?”

Teillagory ends up on the receiving end of some intense domestic violence.

“Hmm, perhaps I shouldn’t have been so harsh on the old man.”

“Oh well, it’s too late for regrets- I have plenty more potential lovers, after all.”

“And then he said that my Liang wasn’t Zhuge at all!”

“I can’t believe it, how could anyone question the size of my Liang?”

“Ah, Guercy, I can always count on you for some HARD GAY.”

“Hmm, I suppose I could give you some…”

“…but first I would need you to tell me how Zhuge my Liang is.”

“Not this again.”


“Look, I’m a pregnant man- I have no time for your games.”

“I’m sorry, but that’s how it is…no flattery, no HARD GAY.”

Durand finds himself becoming increasingly frustrated by his continuing lack of HARD GAY.

“This scene is rather amusing, but it’s about time we moved on with the plot.”

“I wonder if I can find an excuse to climb into bed with him.”

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3 Responses to Chevalier Alternative 19 Part I

  1. Dominique says:

    lulz, mpreg. just as i thought it wasn’t possible to make the parodies any more kinky. XD

  2. Sephie says:

    “My, you really are poorly designed, aren’t you?”

    Hah, that was awesome. XD

    Where’d you download this episode? D: I can’t find it anywhere…

  3. Karura says:

    I take it you’re looking for the subbed version, which doesn’t exist yet.

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