“Was I always this big?”
“Come on everyone…one, two, cha cha cha!”
“See, I told you all I’d be back next week!”
“Ah, Durand, I hear you are now with child.”
“I’ve been meaning to tell you, Max- I’m pretty sure you are the father.”
“Me? Are you sure?”
“What, you don’t believe me?”
“I checked the dates and it has to be you!”
“Max, you can’t think that I would lie to you about something as important as this.”
“Wait…I thought you said you were using contraception.”
“I’m not ready to be a father!”
“Like it or not, you’re going to be one- and I will be expecting maintenance payments.”
Meanwhile, Teillagory takes Lia-d’Eon and Robin out for some late night HARD GAY to take everyone’s minds off Durand.
“Damn, our stamina bars are running out again.”
“Why does summoning a squad of generic minions never work?”
In an unprecedented move, Sandwich turns to the director and asks for more screen time.
“Look at you two, exhausted already; why, in my day we could go on all night- ROBIN! Don’t you dare take your hands off it yet!”
“Never fear, for Durand is here.”
“Durand! Is the baby okay?”
“Have either of you guys realised that he doesn’t even know who the father is?”
“Ah, well, about that…”
“…if you can believe in a pregnant man, surely you could even accept the possibility that both of you are the fathers?”
“Ugh, I think it’s time! The baby’s coming!”
Lia-d’Eon, Robin and Teillagory have never seen anything like this before.
“Something doesn’t feel right…this isn’t how it’s supposed to be.”
“He’s losing the baby! I can’t bear to look!”
Durand is driven into an uncontrollable frenzy by the loss of his precious firstborn.
“All right, it’s payback time for what you did to me earlier!”
“That bastard, he joined the H.O.M.O. club without us! He must have been sleeping around!”
“I’m just impressed that he met the club’s strict entrance requirements.”
After realising the extent to which Durand has been cheating on him, Lia-d’Eon cannot hold back any longer.
“Don’t think that I’ll be quick to let you in my bed again, you whore!”
“If you wanted HARD GAY so much, you should have said so!”
“We could have played bondage games- like this one!”
“Hey Robin, do you fancy giving this method a try when we go home?”
The spirit of HARD GAY arrives to enhance the experience.
“YES!”
The spirit of HARD GAY finds this form of pleasure rather vulgar and inelegant.
Durand pauses for breath.
To Lia-d’Eon’s surprise, Durand gets his second wind and starts demanding more.
“This is too intense- make it stop!”
“Don’t look, Robin; you are too young to know of such techniques.”
Lia-d’Eon begins to flag under Durand’s sustained assault.
Durand prepares to have his way with an unresisting Lia-d’Eon.
Caught up in the intensity of what he is witnessing, Teillagory reaches out and grabs Durand’s Zhuge Liang.
“Damn, I really wore out the old antique this time.”
Rather than being exhausted, Durand merely reaches a new level of excitement.
“Fine, if you have the appetite for more Sword…”
“I guess I’ll just have to give it to you!”
A climax is finally reached.
“You see, Robin, my boy, this is what happens when you keep your desires all bottled up and don’t release them in the normal way.”
Durand’s HARD GAY proves to have had a fatal intensity.
“This isn’t right- HARD GAY shouldn’t kill people!”
Next week
Teillagory answers an ad in the personal pages, only to find out it was placed by a very familiar face.
Charlotte bemoans her general lack of HARD YURI.
