Shounen Onmyouji parody episode 11

Masahiro is fighting a bat demon.

Masahiro: Slicing Wave! Input Spell Command!

Masahiro charges a spell.

Masahiro: White Barrier!

The monster starts running away.

Guren: Well done Masahiro, you scored three damage points this time! Now I’ll finish him off with my flames.

The monster is burned, and the battle ends.

Guren: Masahiro, are you all right? Your stamina bar is nearly empty!

Masahiro: I know, but it’s the only way I can level up! I’m almost to Level Four now!

Masahiro collapses from exhaustion. Later, Mokkun talks to Seimei about this.

Mokkun: Seimei, Masahiro is pushing himself too hard!

(Seimei: Perfect- if the kid tires himself out, I can take over as the main character!)

Seimei: Oh, just let him do what he wants; I’m sure it will turn out well for me, er, I mean him.

Mokkun: Seimei, are you hiding something? Tell me!

(Seimei: Has he found out my plans to take over as main character? Surely not!)

Rikugou appears.

Rikugou: Mokkun, Masahiro has woken up- you’d better go to him.

Mokkun leaves and Rikugou disappears.

(Seimei: That was a lucky escape.)

Seiryu appears.

Seiryu: What exactly is it that you’re trying to foresee by sitting here?

Seimei: Oh…a lot of things…

(Seimei: …such as the day when I get to take over as main character.)

Seiryu: Is it okay just to leave him to his own devices?

Seimei: Who? Guren, or Masahiro? Could it be that you’re HARD GAY for one of them?

Seiryu: It’s not like that at all! It’s just due concern for the main character.

Seiryu vanishes.

(Seimei: So you want more screen time as well. Still, I can’t blame you.)

The next day, Seimei goes to visit Akiko.

Seimei: Well, the good news is that the wound given to you by the evil foreign demons has healed. The bad news is that you’re still cursed, and probably will be for the rest of your life. Still, if you just put your hand inside my robes here, it will help to take away the negative effects.

Akiko: But, Seimei-sama…

Seimei: Come on, girl, I have already taken the effects of your curse ‘unto myself’, as it were.

Akiko: I’m sorry, Seimei-sama! I’m just a weak and useless female character.

Seimei: Everyone has their weak moments, especially females in shounen series. Don’t blame yourself, for it is the fault of those evil foreign demons- and I am sure Masahiro will defeat them.

(Seimei: Or better yet, die in the process so that I can take over and have this lovely lady all to myself.)

Seimei starts walking home.

Seimei: Rikugou, would you mind joining Masahiro’s active party for a while?

(Seimei: The more party members he has, the less EXP he will gain per battle.)

Rikugou vanishes. Later, he follows Masahiro and Mokkun as they question minor Pokemon.

Masahiro: Pokemon, you’re always good for exposition; could you tell me where people are being spirited away from?

Pokemon 1: The location you need is Old House with Lake.

Masahiro: Let’s go.

Pokemon 2: Are you sure you’re ready for a mission in a new dungeon? Your stamina bar seems to be flashing red.

Mokkun: I told you we should have stopped at an inn.

Masahiro: I refuse to pay 100G just to have my HP, MP and stamina restored. We’ll go as we are.

The party heads out to Old House with Lake, where the local thieves are being attacked by vines.

Masahiro: Energy Blast!

Mokkun: Swift Cutter! Guren Mode!

The thieves run away as the vines are destroyed.

Guren: Special attack! Raging HARD-ON!

Guren starts vaporising the lake.

(Guren: Damn, why won’t ‘it’ come…oh wait, I get it! I need to be gripping my ‘spear’!)

Guren: Flame Spear! HARD-ON successful!

Guren slices the lake, and a foreign demon emerges.

Battle Start! Foreign Demon vs. Masahiro, Guren and Rikugou!

Foreign Demon: Gwakaka! I am an evil foreign demon!

Guren: Flaming Dragons!

Foreign Demon: I summon Shadow of Kyuuki!

A shadowy Kyuuki appears, defending against Guren’s attack. Masahiro starts spasming and writhing around on the floor.

Guren: Masahiro, what happened? Did you eat a bad mushroom?

Kyuuki: Gwakaka, you must have taken my curse unto yourself!

Guren: Wait, I thought Seimei had done that!

Kyuuki: Feel the pain and darkness of the forces of evil as it continually drains away your stamina bar!

Guren: Damn it! White Hot Dragon!

Foreign Demon: Melting Escape!

The foreign demons escapes back into the surface of the lake.

Masahiro: Did we gain any EXP?

Guren: Don’t give me that! Why did you endanger your life with this curse? Your stamina is too low for a status effect like that?

Masahiro: I had to do it- I’m the main character! And besides, I wanted to do something for Akiko.

(Guren: I thought he was HARD GAY for me, but he seems to care about Akiko more.)

Guren: Revert!

Guren changes back into Mokkun.

Mokkun: Let’s go home and get straight to bed- there’ll be no HARD GAY for anyone tonight.

The next day, Masahiro studies ‘My First Book of Demons’.

Masahiro: So that foreign demon was Kyohou, one of Kyuuki’s sub bosses.

Mokkun: Is Kyuuki going to end up being the final boss of this series? We never seem to get any closer to him.

Masahiro: If he’s using lake surfaces as a gateway, we need to find a large lake.

Mokkun: In that case, maybe Lake Hirosawa is the next place to try.

Masahiro: We’ll go tonight- I prefer to undertake missions in the dark.

That night, the Mashiro, Mokkun and Rikugou party goes out to their next location. Pigtails and Genbu watch them.

Genbu: Do you think a Level Three onmyouji can really defeat evil foreign demons?

Pigtails: I shouldn’t worry- he is the main character. One day we might even have to join his party.

Masahiro’s party reaches the lake, where Kyuuki’s shadow waits.

Kyuuki: Private Communications On! Target Masahiro! Masahiro, that curse will eventually cause your stamina to reach zero- why don’t you defy convention and join me before that happens? I will wait for you at the next boss dungeon- Lake Ogura. Gwakakaka!

Kyuuki vanishes, for there is not enough time left for a confrontation.

Mokkun: Are you all right? What did Kyuuki say to you?

Masahiro: Oh, nothing.

Mokkun and Rikugou share meaningful glances.

(Mokkun: He’s hiding something from us.)

(Rikugou: No comment, for I have no mind of my own.)

Masahiro: Anyway, whilst he wasn’t saying anything to me, he happened to mention the location of the next boss dungeon- Lake Ogura.

To be continued…

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