Le Chevalier d’Eon parody episode 15

Anna writes a letter to d’Eon.

(Anna: Dear d’Eon, I trust you are keeping well; however, do not forget that there are those of us back in France who long for screen time. My life may be relatively boring and routine compared to yours, but that is no reason for me to be shoved aside. If you are not careful, I will start my own spin-off show.)

In England, d’Eon reads the letter.

(d’Eon: Who is this person who keeps writing to me? I feel like I’ve heard the name before, but…no, it isn’t coming to me.)

Teillagory: All right, enough of that, it’s time to decide who’s going to have HARD GAY with me tonight. Make it quick, though, the old antique can’t wait much longer.

Robin: All right, I’ll do it.

d’Eon: I don’t mind joining in too.

Teillagory: This is classic HARD GAY, so we don’t need three people. If we start having a group session, Guercy will probably want to join in.

d’Eon: But-

Robin: Look, this is my time with Teillagory. Don’t interfere.

Teillagory: You didn’t need to brush him off quite so bluntly.

Robin: Trust me, it was the only way.

Teillagory and Robin leave. Durand goes to leave as well.

d’Eon: Durand- I just want to know that you don’t have to hold back when you sleep with me just because I turn into a woman sometimes. Lia said she didn’t mind if we wanted an intense night of HARD GAY, just as long as we let her watch sometimes.

Durand: You’ll do anything to get someone into your bed, won’t you? Why don’t you write a reply to Anna before you do anything else?

Durand leaves.

(d’Eon: Maybe I should do that- I might be able to find out who she is.)

Durand goes to see Guercy, who hands him a letter.

Guercy: The King of France sent this to you- it’s probably got a picture of his Zhuge Liang inside.

Durand: Did you open it?

Guercy: Of course not. I don’t need to see Zhuge Liangs that I’ll never be able to get my hands on. It may seem inconsistent, but that’s just the way I am.

Durand: I bet you’re just jealous of his size.

Guercy: You should know by now that the only lovers I’m interested in are the ones who pay me. Give me money and I’ll take anyone to my bed.

Durand opens the letter.

Guercy: Hmm, I suppose he’s asking you for HARD GAY. Take my advice, and be sure to flatter his techniques rather than criticising them.

Durand: I’ll flatter it, then criticise.

Guercy: Not a bad idea- oh, and remember not to do too much with him. He is getting on in years, after all.

Durand: You really are the master of techniques, aren’t you? You’ve even taught me a thing or two.

Guercy: Be sure to use them wisely. That sort of thing can fetch quite a price if you market yourself correctly.

Durand goes to leave.

Durand: Well, thanks for everything. I’ll be sure to send you a picture of my Zhuge Liang once I get back to France.

Guercy: Didn’t you hear what I said earlier?

Durand: Oh, don’t worry, I won’t send any of the King’s Liang.

Durand leaves. Meanwhile, d’Eon is taking a walk when he suddenly sees a vision of Robespierre.

(d’Eon: Is he back for more HARD GAY?)

In his room, Robespierre stares out of the window.

(Robespierre: This long distance HARD GAY needs more work. I can’t always maintain a connection.)

Lorenza: I’m bored.

Whitehead leers at her.

(Whitehead: Telepathy Mode On! Hey, Lorenza, how’d you like to relieve your boredom with me?)

(Lorenza: Did he just say what I think he said? What a horrible thought.)

Lorenza walks over to Robespierre.

Giuseppe enters.

Giuseppe: Damn, they don’t sell HARD GAY anywhere. It’s a shame- even you would enjoy a bit of HARD GAY, Whitehead.

Lorenza: I thought you didn’t like it, Giuseppe.

Giuseppe: Well, I just kept going until I finally became accustomed to it.

(Whitehead: Here, let me drop my trousers.)

Giuseppe: Wow, this is great! I feel like I’m going to catch fire!

Robespierre: For now, I don’t mind if you two want to have HARD GAY.

Giuseppe: But…what about the plot?

Robespierre: It’s okay- everything will proceed later.

Elsewhere, Wood is talking to Sandwich. Wood gets out some documents.

Wood: As you can see, the changes that New Wang made have greatly improved my Zhuge Liang.

Sandwich looks through the documents.

Sandwich: I’m sorry, but this does not impress me. I already have soldiers, you know.

Meanwhile, Durand leaves the embassy and pours a special liquid on the King’s letter. Writing appears and he starts to read it.

(Durand: He wants me to what!? I didn’t know two men could do that!)

Teillagory waits in a small room. Robin enters.

Robin: Couldn’t you have chosen a better place for our HARD GAY?

Teillagory: Robin boy, this may look like a small shack to you, but an experienced man such as myself knows that it has many advantages for HARD GAY.

Robin: I’ve always admired your knowledge of the rules of HARD GAY.

Teillagory: There are no exceptions to those rules, even when engaging in group sessions with one’s comrades.

Robin looks at Teillagory with admiration. Outside, d’Eon approaches Durand.

Durand: That took a while- I can’t believe it took that much time just to write a letter.

(Durand: I bet he slipped in a bit of Hyper Self Pleasure.)

d’Eon: I…er…

(d’Eon: He must not guess that I have been indulging in Hyper Self Pleasure.)

Durand: You are a sinful man, d’Eon.

Sandwich visits Guercy.

Guercy: I’m sorry, but I can’t find the main characters anywhere!

Sandwich: So it’s decided, then- it’ll just be you and me at the group session. Come with me- the bedroom awaits.

The Four Musketeers meet up at the safe house.

Durand: This is a great place for HARD GAY- just as expected from the master of the bedroom.

d’Eon: Now we can relax and enjoy HARD GAY without worrying about Guercy.

Robin: Don’t forget we have the plot to attend to.

d’Eon: Of course not, but can fit that in around our activities- right, Durand?

Durand: Oh, er, yes- now if you’ll excuseme, I just want to go outside for a bit of Hyper Self Pleasure.

Teillagory: Don’t forget to take your sword with you, then.

Durand picks up his sword and goes out into the woods for some Hyper Self Pleasure.

(Durand: The King wants me to become his exclusive lover- but that means killing everyone else I’ve ever slept with! Can I really restrict myself to just one man?)

Meanwhile, the other three Musketeers are forced to hide when Sandwich’s generics start searching the town and waving their swords around.

Robin: They’re looking for us!

Teillagory: There’s no way we can have HARD GAY with all of them- even if we wanted to.

The generics find Durand, who gives them some Sword. Unfortunately, he is driven back towards Whitehead.

(Whitehead: Pleasure on!)

A HARD GAY aura surrounds Whitehead.

Durand: So, you want HARD GAY, do you? I wonder if you can handle my Double Blade style.

Durand draws a Dagger and tries to give Whitehead both Sword and Dagger. Unfortunately, Whitehead soon proves to be more than match for his HARD GAY.

d’Eon: I can’t bear to listen! I want to join in too!

Teillagory: Just bear with it- this is not a HARD GAY session we can join!

(Robin: I wish we could join in- why do I miss all the best sessions?)

Meanwhile, the intensity of Whitehead’s HARD GAY has caused Durand to lose his arm. Robespierre arrives.

Robespierre: I appreciate your enthusiasm, Whitehead, but leave some HARD GAY for me.

(Durand: Robespierre…I wish I could have met you when I was in a better state- then we could have had some great HARD GAY.)

Robespierre: Pleasure On!

A HARD GAY aura surrounds Robespierre as he begins chanting. Whitehead’s head explodes in a shower of blood.

(Robespierre: Not again- why are so many people unable to withstand my HARD GAY aura?)

Robespierre moves over to Durand and his bloodstained ‘sword’.

Robespierre: There’s no need to be ashamed, my friend. In the future, swords will not be needed for HARD GAY- it will all be conducted by transfer of aura.

Sandwich and Guercy arrives.

Sandwich: Have you collected up my lovers yet?

Guercy: We only seem to have one of them.

Sandwich: Generics, I command you to find the other three!

Sandwich sees Whitehead’s body.

Sandwich: Whitehead, how could you die? I wanted to have HARD GAY with you!

Durand is taken away.

To be continued…

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