El Cazador de la Bruja parody episode 4

Damn those HARD GAY bounty hunters- when will they accept that they are too ugly and clichéd to have screen time and just wander off into the land of one-shot failures? In the meantime, so incensed are they with HARD YURI’s prominence in this series that they’ll stop at nothing to destroy Ellis and Nadie and replace them as main characters.

Our leads try to put some variety in their love lives by inviting nuns to their HARD YURI sessions. The nuns have no real reason to help them other than the fact that Nadie and Ellis are main characters.

“We’re back!!!~”

“…or, as the viewers call him, the director.”

Nadie finally gets to fire her gun, a sign that this episode will have “some” action, as opposed to “none whatsoever”.

El Cazador is so boring that it sends even Ellis to sleep.

“It’s just me and my chat room buddies.”

“Face it, they’re just internet contacts- there’s no one else in the room.”

“Liang, melons…all are ticked…”

(“I can’t believe she didn’t ask to sleep with me! Me, the great Rosenberg, most accomplished lover since Casanova!”)

(“Oh well- back to throwing darts at this photo, I guess.”)

“Ellis is so relaxed in the bedroom- I don’t know whether that’s a good or bad thing.”

“Forward, partner, fame, glory and screen time await!”

“Die, foul plates- enemies of mankind!”

“Don’t hold back on our account- nuns are well schooled in the art of HARD YURI, after all, or as we call it, Divine Devotion.”

Heinz Schneider- it’s like a subtle hint that he might be of German descent.

Forget nuns with guns- nuns with clubs and ladles are the in thing this season.

“…it’s Krusty the Clown!”

“Kirika taught me how to kill with a fork.”

“…but this isn’t a Noir rip-off, because I have two forks!”

“I am unaccustomed to waiting so long for a lover to come.”

This ugly character shall henceforth be known as Nut-man, due to his nut-shaped head.

“Wait for us- we can’t run quickly as we have to take mincing cross-dresser steps!”

“I didn’t realise these guys would be recurring.”


The nuns experience Divine Pleasure.

“…and you know what that means.”

“Yep, it’s time for HARD YURI.”

“Although first let’s have this GTA-style driving level.”

“Level complete- you achieved A rank.”

“On the right hand side we have the Noir building, where Kirika gives Sword, whilst on the left we have the Madlax building, sponsored by Coca-Cola.”

Rosenberg is last to arrive at an important HARD GAY date.

“Once you get it up, you can’t afford to wait, because you don’t know how long you’ll last.”

“Fancy coming to my room tonight?”

“German HARD GAY is always efficient and satisfying.”

Blue-Eyes can’t get her mind off HORSE.

“Gwakaka, your plan is doomed to failure! Doomed, I say!”

The nuns tell Nadie that they enjoyed their HARD YURI.

“Previously it said ‘Rosenberg is a HARD GAY loser who has cybersex on internet chat rooms’, but I have altered it to say “‘Rosenberg is NOT a HARD GAY loser who has cybersex on internet chat rooms’”.

“If you’re close to a computer, log onto our chat room so that we can have cybersex!”

In Flashback Mode, we learn how Ellis resisted Schneider’s STRAIGHT.

“Don’t make me have STRAIGHT- I hate it!”

“Very well, I will cancel all our STRAIGHT sessions from now on.”

“The cameras are about to switch off, so let’s have intense HARD YURI!”

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3 Responses to El Cazador de la Bruja parody episode 4

  1. James says:

    That made me chuckle

    … much unlike El Cazador 4.

    It’s sad, I find myself watching Bee Train anime without fail, and yet always punching myself for it. The complete and utter failure at humor makes it very dry

  2. j.valdez says:

    > “…it’s Krusty the Clown!”


    > “Kirika taught me how to kill with a fork.”
    > “…but this isn’t a Noir rip-off, because I have two forks!”

    Wait a min. This isn’t Noir 2?

  3. krypfto says:

    Nope, this is Noir 3. Madlax is Noir 2.

    Also, LOL at Rosenberg’s revised statements.

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