Tuesday Rumble: May 8th

This week, let’s begin with an amusing comment that sadly didn’t make it past the net of approval. Intended to appear on the long-dormant Annual Round Up, it reads only “HI! My name is Ndaproverka, and i search frend! :)”. Good luck, Nodaproverka, I hope you find Frend, whoever he is.

Gundam Pizza Hut
Many of you must have wondered where the Gundam franchise would go next, or how it could possible top the masterpiece of angst, pointless characters, flashbacks and long stretches of boredom that is commonly referred to as Gundam Seed Destiny. Fortunately, Tuesday Rumble can exclusively reveal the next title in the long-running Gundam franchise- Gundam Pizza Hut!

In a universe where numerous factions on Earth and in orbiting space colonies are in constant conflict for no good reason, delivering pizzas can be a dangerous task. After numerous pizza-carrying Zakus are destroyed, Pizza Hut designs five new mobile suits- Gundams- designed to safely deliver pizzas to all corners of the solar system. When four of the Gundams are stolen by rival pizza restaurant Domino’s Pizza, however, an epic battle begins. Can KirAthruShinn, pilot of the Cheese and Tomato Gundam, outwit the Domino pilots of the stolen Hawaiian, Olive, Pepperoni and Stuffed Crust Gundams and ensure that hungry customers get piping hot Pizza Hut? Find out on Gundam Pizza Hut!

KyoAni presents Toilet Cleaners, or A Guide to Hype
When KyoAni announces that they will be producing a new anime about the working lives of toilet cleaners, the fanboys go wild. Let’s chart their reactions.

1. At first, there is general upset- a season spent on Toilet Cleaners is one less season for Haruhi, FMP and the latest Key adaptation.

2. Nonetheless, the discord soon passes- after all, this is KyoAni, and so Toilet Cleaners is bound to be great.

3. Numerous blog posts based around promotional artwork, CMs and general anticipation of Toilet Cleaners start to infest the BlogWorld. Some people start reading the Toilet Cleaners manga in order to be prepared for the anime, whilst Hung gets upset that this will stop a.f.k. from subbing more Animal Yokocho.

4. By the time Toilet Cleaners is ready to air, the anticipation is at fever pitch. Every fanboy is thoroughly excited about this exciting anime that will expose the heretofore unseen lives of the humble toilet cleaners.

5. Episode one airs, and even those who do not know a word of Japanese rush to download the raw. Up to twenty five minutes are then spent watching it.

6. When it comes to viewers’ attention that an anime about cleaning toilets cannot be anything other than utter crap, a complete backlash occurs. In short order, everyone is posting about how awful Toilet Cleaners is and how the hype has led to disappointment.

7. Within the next week or so, a subbed version appears, episode two airs, and more people pick up the series. It now become popular to buck the trend of hating Toilet Cleaners and post about how it really isn’t that bad, and is in fact quite entertaining in places.

8. By the time the fourth episode has aired, hardly anyone cares anymore…unless of course the series does something high profile like changing director.

Reideen Pick and Mix

“I’ve finally worked out how to beat Solitaire!”

“Are you saying you want to have HORSE?”

“How many times do I have to turn you down before you’ll realise I don’t want to go out with you!?”

“But you’re the only one who can arouse me!”

“Don’t even bother to try that old line- I’m just not interested.”

New Wang’s headquarters are spotted.

“I think that will result in a better HARD GAY experience overall.”

Random Thoughts: Nanoha

This week we catch Nanoha on set during the filming of the latest episode of StrikerS! We know you’ve all been dying to hear her thoughts on this new series, so listen carefully!

So, Nanoha, you were only nine years old when you first starred in Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha. Was it difficult being a child star, especially one that so many lolicons were ogling over?
Well, although not many people know this, I’d actually already played a sixth-grader in Triangle Heart, and it was from there that I got the job for Nanoha. It was a bit strange to go back to playing a third grader, and to be honest, I always wondered why more people didn’t question the fact that it was left to a bunch of nine year olds to save the world. As for the whole lolicon issue, I honestly had no idea that kind of thing was associated with our series- I thought they were watching it because of my acting skills.

How do you answer accusations that Raising Heart is the one that does all the work in battle whilst you just stand there?
Raising Heart: That is correct- Nanoha is useless-

Nanoha: Shut up! Next question, please.

Well then, moving on to StrikerS, did you expect to be sidelined for a whole bunch of new characters that, quite frankly, no one cares about?
I guess there’s no point hiding it anymore- that tight-fisted studio weren’t willing to pay us recurring characters the fee we deserve, and we ended up in court arguing over it. Since they couldn’t exactly make the show without us with a huge backlash, we eventually came to a agreement that we would accept the lower wage but work in fewer scenes. We honestly thought that the studio would realise their folly and eventually agree to pay us more, but those skinflints just brought in a bunch of cheap to hire newcomers- can you believe it?

Could you also explain the logic between using a limiter to downgrade your impressive power?
That’s obvious, isn’t it? This series has to last twenty-six episodes, so they can’t just have us blowing away the enemy right at the beginning. Instead, we have to act like weaklings and wait for those damned newcomers to level up.

And finally, are you allowed to drop any hints as to what we can expect to see in future episodes of StrikerS?
I have to keep the specifics strictly confidential, but you can expect a lot of transformation sequences and fights against generic enemies.

This Week in Anime

Onions, potatoes and carrots decide to undergo essential bonding by going on a camping trip together.

Kenichi finds himself at the mercy of an apple infection.

The cure is swift but dangerous.

…and re-infection is always a problem.

Anime Awards

Most enjoyable flashback of the week goes to Claymore, which seems to have improved with the advent of its flashback arc.

Most forgettable OVA of the week has already been forgotten, but is a prize that deserves to be shared between Sakura Taisen New York and Murder Princess.

Widest angle scene of the week appears in Heroic Age, which gives widescreen a new meaning with its needlessly wide angled battle scenes.

HARD GAY corner: Gundam Seed
Kira and Athrun were HARD GAY partners from childhood, but a cruel fate saw them separated and forced to fight on opposing sides. Although Athrun had new lovers in the form of Yzak, Nicol and Dearka, he longed for Kira’s skilled embrace, whilst Kira’s Coordinator skills made all his Natural lovers seem unskilled- only Mu La Flaga could even come close to satisfying him.

After numerous experiments with passing lovers, and even brief dabbling in the world of STRAIGHT, Kira and Athrun were eventually able to reconcile with each other and experience a new form of HARD GAY known as ‘SEED’, but little did they know that their idyllic days were numbered.

To be continued in HARD GAY Corner: Gundam Seed Destiny.

OST spotlight: Phantom Brave
As the bonus disc that comes with the Phantom Brave game, this short CD isn’t one I would have bought on its own was it not provided. That’s not to say it is bad; in fact, the melodic orchestral blend of lilting themes often reaches quite a high standard for game music- it may not be able to challenge the greats, but it is still worthy on its own merit at times. Unfortunately, it isn’t really consistent, with some of the slower vocal ballads feeling more dull and interminable than engaging.

Notable tracks: Thinking of You, Grand Melody, Game Braker, Strange Wind, Sorrow

Licensing Reactions

• Saiunkoku Monogatari (Geneon): This isn’t unexpected since Geneon already acquired a SaiMono domain name, but now it is finally official, and whilst I love the series and want it in DVD, 39 episodes across singles will a bit too much of a strain on the budget, forcing me to wait for a boxset.

Mini-editorial: How similar should the anime and manga be?
I’ve talked about anime adaptations that have been better or worse than their original manga, but when it comes down to it, how similar should the two be? As we all know, changing the story in order to better suit the pacing of a twenty-five episode, adding in filler or changing the ending because the manga is unfinished are hardly uncommon, and yet they are also often cause for vocal complaints as a solid original story gets turned into something inferior. Then again, if the anime follows the manga exactly, no only does one become disinclined to experience the exact same story over again, but a certain amount of impatience and boredom creeps in due to knowing exactly what will come next.

Slice of life series such as Aria, Mushishi and Honey and Clover seem to be at their best when they echo the manga exactly, without ever feeling dull- and for some reason, it was the same with the faithful Hikaru no Go. Other faithful series such as the exposition-heavy Death Note, however, just feel surplus to requirements for anyone who is already familiar with the manga. On the flip side of the coin, the changes made to series such as Chobits only end up making the anime feel slower paced and more painful, perhaps because the original material is not that strong to begin with. Perhaps ultimately, this is a situation that needs to be taken on a series by series (or at least genre by genre) case, with consideration towards what works in each medium, and of course the quality of the core story.

Harem of the week: Keitaro Urashima- Love Hina
The luckless loser destined never to get into Tokyo University, Keitaro was a handed a harem of sorts by becoming manager of the Hinata Apartments, an all-female dormitory.

Harem

Naru Narusegawa: The main girl, and tsundere locked in a perpetual cycle of softening towards Keitaro and then beating up when he makes yet another unintentional faux pas.

Mitsune Konno (Kitsune): The laid back and forward older woman (in terms of attitude rather than age), has a fondness for drinking and causing trouble for others.

Kaolla Su: The eccentric inventor loli, can transform into an adult form under certain circumstances.

Shinobu: The quiet loli, shyly adores Keitaro.

Motoko Aoyama: The tough girl, a kendo expert scared to reveal a softer side.

Mutsumi: The sick girl, a childhood friend and love rival.

Sarah McDougal: Another loli, this one the aggressive and unruly type.

Rivals

Professor Noriyasu Seta: The object of Naru’s crush, and when she later turns to Keitaro, Kitsune reveals her feelings for him.

Lamba Lu: Cousin of Su, she seems to have feelings for him before giving him up to her sister Amalla.

Kentaro Sakata: An early rival for Naru’s affections until he becomes too minor to be a threat.

Fashion Police: Meg
The second entrant in our Burst Angel month of fashion diasasters, Meg illustrates what Selphie initially taught us- there are certain shades of yellow that should not be used extensively in clothing. Where Selphie wore a rag, however, Meg does at least cover herself up a bit, although much of the upper body and thighs are left exposed, with only the hideous yellow chaps attempting to compensate for a skirt so short that her panties are inevitably exposed. And above all else- why don’t her breasts pop out of the laughably small bit of fabric that is holding them in?

Fashion sense: F

Amusing Search Terms

Old favourites: busou renkin hentai, pr0n toube, you toube

romance of the three kingdoms III winxp: Not here, I’m afraid.

Ginga Densetsu Weed Theme Downloads: people actually want this as a computer theme?

rotk rpg: Can’t find ROTK III? Make your own RPG instead.

autumn flame grass: what is this?

“love slave” baka updates: Maybe try Baka Updates instead of Azure Flame?

rpg maker xp stargate: Stargate the RPG, coming soon to a galaxy near you.