El Cazador de la Bruja parody episode 9

After all the time they’ve spent together, Nadie and Ellis are starting to get bored with each other as HARD YURI partners, and so when Nadie encounters a woman named Illis in an otherwise abandoned mining town, it seems like the perfect opportunity to try someone new. Unfortunately, Illis has committed herself to Hyper Self Pleasure- can Nadie ever convince such a person of the value of a bedroom partner?

In his calculated effort to turn LA HARD GAY, Rosenberg seems to have failed to grasp that showing him pictures of Ellis might not be the best method to use.

“Switch off the tape and find something more HARD GAY- pronto!”

Ricardo neglects to mention how he just let Nadie and Ellis go in an earlier episode.

When you see the leads digging in a mineshaft, you just know an episode is going to plumb new depths of boredom.

“Damn you, stone wall, for being more interesting than this anime!”

Nadie complains after a particularly lacklustre HARD YURI session (in case you’re wondering, we’ve gone back in time to answer the burning question of why they were in that mineshaft in the first place).

Ellis blames the poor HARD YURI on Nadie.

“None of your lip- don’t forget who’s dominant in this relationship!”

“I won’t forget, Mistress.”

Bee Train has a real flair for scenes involving vehicles driving down roads.

Nadie searches for inspiration in a document entitled “How to Spice up a Jaded Love Life”.

“…and I don’t see any burger stands or pizza places around here either!”

Inspired by Saiunkoku Monogatari, Nadie decides to try out the fashionable Bucket Hat.

Nadie complains about the imagination of the writers.

According to that document I read, bondage could help bring back that spark to our love life!

Is anyone else thinking of Ring right now?

If you don’t want to climb back up, just use the patented Secret Exit!

What sort of HARD YURI are we going to have with these ropes?

The villain of the week proves to be a cousin of Nut Head.

For the second week in a row, Blue Eyes indulges in CEILING.

“I’m right next to the computer, but I won’t get a perfect score on this mission if I don’t go back and do it all again from the beginning.”

“are you interested in HARD YURI?”

“Hmm, I sense a slight Spanish theme to your name- I’m not sure why.”

“I live alone here in this exhausted mine, but that’s perfectly normal, isn’t it?”

“…but where do you get your food and water from? And just how do you plan to make a living from this?”

“…is the ultimate form of Hyper Self Pleasure.”

“In the absence of human company, Cousin Nut Head decides to make do with EARTH.”

“Working in an office and getting paid for it is much more strenuous than digging in a mine for no real reason.”

“Ever since I was in college, I knew that Self Pleasure was more appealing to me than something that required a partner.”

“People say it’s the last resort of the lonely and frustrated, but to me Self Pleasure is nothing short of an art form.”

“You know, if you were to change your ways and give me HARD YURI, I would pay you for it.”

“I must convince this woman to have HARD YURI with me.”

Stay up to date with the latest fashions this summer with the Grenade Coat!

Commence Cart Surfer game.

“Doesn’t Hyper Self Pleasure ever get boring?”

I have to say that whilst university lectures can be incredibly dull, they are still preferable to digging at a rock face.

“Self Pleasure and HARD YURI may share a similar purpose, but HARD YURI is far superior.”

“But my father told me never to risk having Pleasure with another person!”

“Haven’t you ever wanted to try it?”

“…and humans have desires! There’s nothing wrong with giving in to them!”

“You must do what you want, or rather what I want you to do!”

“Give in to the forces of HARD YURI.”

“Don’t hold back- release the Pleasure!”

“Become my willing love slave!”

“Yes, Mistress.”

“Gwakaka, I am the enemy!”

“Oh no, I’m down in one hit. I really should have levelled up.”

“It’s an exciting moment- you’re about to have your first HARD YURI.”

“What do you mean you don’t know how to do it?”

“Damn, I had to supervise every minute of that session- I couldn’t just lie back and enjoy myself.”

“Sorry, but I think I’m attracted to Zhuge Liangs after all.”

I wonder when we’re getting back to the plot.”

The punch line of this painfully dull episode is that poor Illis has her home destroyed, and is left to die on her own in this abandoned town.

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