Bakumatsu Kikansetsu Irohanihoheto parody episode 22

Hijikata has brought Akidzuki back to Ezo.

Hijikata: Akidzuki, I must thank you for giving me some good old HARD GAY, but I’m not sure if bringing you here was the right idea. This is a land of BI and Ezos, neither of which are to your tastes.

Akidzuki: Don’t worry about me- there’s always Hyper Self Pleasure to fall back on. Just promise me that you won’t try to make me have BI with you.

Akidzuki leaves, and walks through the streets of Ezo men trying to pick up women for BI, until he finally finds solitude in the hills. A blizzard blows around him

(Akidzuki: This cold blizzard will help me put my desires to one side for a while.)

At the hospital, Tetsunosuke and Kakunojo have quick BI. Tetsunosuke stares at his hands afterwards, just as Ryouun enters.

Ryouun: What’s this? Have you finally discovered the joys of BI?

Tetsunosuke: O-of course not! Men are all I need.

Meanwhile, Shiranui is working at a BI café.

Shiranui: So, what can I get you ladies?

Woman: I’ll take whatever you recommend, handsome.

Woman #2: Hey, I asked him for BI first!

Woman: Wait your turn- I asked first!

Shiranui: Now, now, ladies- save your energy for the bedroom.

Kotoha enters.

Shiranui: Tayu! I, er, totally wasn’t cheating on you with these other women.

Kotoha: Nonsense- it’s good to see you polishing your BI techniques with new partners.

Woman: She’s so attractive- maybe we should ask her for HARD YURI instead.

Shiranui: I’ll never understand women.

Boss: Trust me, boy, you should just stick with men.

(Shiranui: Oh well, at least I have the upcoming group BI with the troupe to look forward to.)

Whilst the rest of the troupe starts setting up the location for the group BI, Ezo comes under attack from enemy soldiers.

Enemy Generic: Such small men cannot be allowed to live and dilute the gene pool!

Whilst the enemy soldiers commence Gun and Sword with Ezo generics, the Historical Figures hold a meeting.

Historical Figure: I thought the cold weather would put off our better endowed enemies from trying HARD GAY with us. Some of them are so large that it could be quite distressing if they took us from the rear.

Enomoto: We came here so that our Ezos would not be laughed at! I won’t tolerate men with proper Liangs making fun of us- I must destroy them all!

Hijikata: I’ll go too.

(Hijikata: This could be my chance to get proper HARD GAY with the enemy Liangs- I’m sick of all this Ezo BI!)

Whilst Enomoto, Hijikata and their soldiers ride out, Soutetsu has quick HORSE before visiting Kakunojo.

Soutetsu: Kakunojo, it is time for you to play an important role in the plot. Here is what you must do.

Meanwhile, Akidzuki’s gaydar is triggered.

(Akidzuki: HARD GAY in a land of BI Ezos? I can’t afford to pass this up!)

As the generic soldiers continue fighting, Hijikata and Enomoto show up.

Generic: This is the chance of a lifetime! We can have HARD GAY with Hijikata and Enomoto!

As the HARD GAY becomes more intense, Akidzuki runs towards it, his Sword drawn. When he arrives, Enomoto uses Evil Stare on him.

Akidzuki: Your glare won’t work on me! I’m desperate for some good HARD GAY!

Akidzuki rushes in to give Enomoto Sword, but Kakunojo arrives to block him with her sword. The two collide in a burst of Pleasure aura that knocks away many generics.

(Kakunojo: BI is your future, Akidzuki!)

Enomoto: Gwakakakaka! Gwakakakaka! Gwakakakaka! Gwakakakaka! BI will always surpass HARD GAY!

(Hijikata: Is a BI-soaked world really what I want?)

(AKidzuki: I can’t stand to be near this much BI.)

As Akidzuki runs off, Enomoto introduces himself to Kakunojo.

Enomoto: Welcome to the team, Kakunojo- with you on our side, we can have great BI.

Soutetsu: Helping us create a new world of BI is your destiny. You must even convince Akidzuki himself that BI is the true path.

That evening, Enomoto practises staring at the sun until nightfall.

Enomoto: The time for BI is now!

Everyone cheers. Meanwhile, Kakunojo, now dressed as the Spirit of BI, addresses a crowd.

Kakunojo: The time for BI is now!

(Enomoto: Now, which lover should I choose tonight?)

Enomoto: The rulers of old chose HARD GAY as their preference, never realising that the people longed for BI! We were laughed at for our Ezos, ridiculed for wanting BI, but no longer! Now we will fashion our own types of Pleasure!

Kakunojo: For the sake of this country, let us all have BI!

Whilst a BI orgy begins, Akidzuki is alone, having Hyper Self Pleasure.

(Akidzuki: I may have tried it once or twice, but that was a mistake! I will never, ever accept BI!)

To be continued…