Romeo X Juliet parody episode 4

Whilst generic forces of evil plot to capture the Red Whirlwind, Conrad berates Juliet for the 50th time.

Conrad: Juliet, I want you to stop being so reckless! Do you think that main character immunity lets you charge in to anything and leave the rest of us stuck at home without any screen time? We’re supposed to be overthrowing the Montagues together!

Juliet: I don’t want to bother with that storyline- I just want to angst about love!

Meanwhile, Benvolio catches Romeo having HORSE in the stable.

Benvolio: Romeo, are you having HORSE again?

Romeo: What does everyone around here have against HORSE? Why are they so obsessed with HARD GAY?

Benvolio: Well, 71% of people do prefer HARD GAY.

Romeo: I just don’t see what’s so wrong with HORSE.

Benvolio: Romeo, are you saying that you’ve given up HARD GAY completely?

Romeo: Yes- I only need HORSE from now on.

Benvolio: Don’t say such things! One day you will be Grand Duke, and then you will have to Pleasure people as well as horses.

Romeo: Nonsense, I’ll just introduce everyone to HORSE.

Benvolio: A country cannot prosper on HORSE alone. For your own sake, you should diversify!

Nonetheless, Romeo has HORSE again that night, whilst Juliet remains in angst mode. The next day, she decides to angst outside for a change of pace.

(Juliet: My Romeo Bar is almost empty- if I don’t fill it again soon, I’ll be unable to move!)

Juliet continues to angst and mope until she sees Romeo having HORSE over the city.

(Juliet: HORSE!)

Romeo and Cielo land.

Romeo: Why do you want to do it here in this graveyard, Cielo?

(Juliet: I desperately want to have HORSE with him, but it is not seemly for a woman to desire such things. Oh well, I’m dressed as a boy right now, and he surely won’t recognise me.)

Juliet emerges as Odin, and Cielo immediately approaches her.

(Juliet: What’s this? Does the HORSE want me too?)

Romeo: I’m sorry, but it looks like Cielo wants to have HORSE with you. Would you mind obliging?

Juliet: He really wants HORSE?

Romeo: Well, you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to.

Juliet: Oh no, I don’t mind.

(Juliet: I must play it cool.)

Romeo: Have you ever had HORSE before?

Juliet: Just the once, really.

Romeo: Well, that’s okay- I am an expert, after all.

Romeo and Juliet ‘mount’ Cielo together and have airborne HORSE.

(Juliet: This is great!)

(Romeo: See- HORSE is truly the best sort of Pleasure there is.)

Romeo: We’re really getting along well, aren’t we? It’s like we’ve met somewhere before.

Unfortunately, it starts raining.

Romeo: Oops, I’d better get you home before you get soaked.

Juliet: But I…I don’t want to finish this HORSE yet.

Romeo: Well, to be honest, neither do I. Let’s land somewhere and have another session indoors.

Romeo and Juliet stop in a conveniently abandoned house and light a fire to dry off. Romeo begins getting undressed.

Romeo: Well, aren’t you going to take your clothes off? HORSE feels better when you’re naked.

Juliet: I’m fine as I am- I don’t like getting naked in front of others.

Romeo: Hmm, I thought all men enjoyed group nudity.

Cielo neighs from outside.

Romeo: Oops, he’s getting impatient. I’ll go and give him HORSE whilst you dry off your clothes for the session.

Whilst Romeo gives Cielo HORSE, Juliet takes off her clothes and wig to dry them by the fire. Naturally, Romeo re-enters the room and sees her in her underwear.

Romeo: Juliet? You’re into cross-dressing? Why didn’t you say so before?

Romeo leaps on Juliet for quick Pleasure.

To be continued…