Pumpkin Scissors parody 15 part I

Whilst the Viagra racket refuses to crack under pressure, Huang Gai decide to turn up the heat by sending out an operative to administer Flaming Pleasure to anyone who wants it- and even those who don’t. How will Pumpkin Scissors deal with these threats to the efficient distribution of BI?

“First, a word from this week’s sponsor- Gundam Seed Astray!”

“Commence Flaming Pleasure!”

“Water beats Fire, right? So all we have to do to get out is drive over this Water element terrain!”

“Uh, does anyone else think that might not have been the best of ideas?”

“Oh my god, my hairspray is beginning to burn off in this heat!”

“If it’s Flaming Pleasure he wants, then let’s give it a try!”

“Hey, what’s wrong with you guys- don’t you think it’s a good idea?”

“We thought we were his only lovers!”

“I never knew he was into this Flaming Pleasure stuff.”

“Would you like some too?”

“Uh, not really…”

“What was that? I couldn’t hear you over the roar of the flamethrower.”

“Huang Gai is an equal opportunities company- which means Flaming Pleasure for everyone!”

“Come on, men- let’s show him that Rifle is better than Flamethrower any day!”

“Did I just hear a request for more Flamethrower?”

“On second thought- let’s get out of here!”

“Stop showing off your weapon and take my Pistol instead!”

“You’re a member of the blue-light district, aren’t you?”

“…destined partner!”

“If it will calm him down, give him HARD GAY!”

“That’s right- you and I are both HARD GAY!”

“I’m trying to go BI now!”

“Are they whispering sweet nothings?”

“Did someone just press a switch or something?”

“Yep, it was definitely a switch.”

“What’s next- earth and wind?”

“This is just my professional opinion, but I can’t help feeling we should leave.”

“Come with me and I’ll show you the ways of BI!”

“Shut up- the last thing we want is him taking part in our sessions!”

“We didn’t…did we?”

“Was it a group session?”

“We didn’t do anything- you’re actually in here for a Liang checkup.”

“Ah yes, it does look a bit run down.”

“Were you flirting with him?”

“Of course not.”

“We need that Liang of yours back in action.”

“I’m sorry to report that sales of Viagra are down.”

“There’s loads of old guys around here that can’t get it up on their own!”

“As Villain of the Fortnight, I shall come up with an evil plan.”

“Your job is to keep peddling the Viagra.”

“I must continue to rely on their Pleasure- it’s that or celibacy!”

“What a shame- I prefer CORPSE to Pleasure with the living.”

“Now to start the Liang upgrade.”

“You say you met a Huang Gai employee? I worked for them once.”

“When they first rolled out Flaming Pleasure, users unexpectedly found themselves burning up.”

“The solution seemed obvious- encase the men in insulating armoured suits that make them terrifying but generic.”

“Although in fact everything I just said was a lie.”

“We just drug them so they can handle the Pleasure without the accompanying pain.”

“Damn, when I hear about stuff like this, it makes me want to have WALL!”

“I wish I could show that guy gentle BI instead of this intense Flaming Pleasure he has become accustomed to.”

“Well, that’s your Liang tuned up- try not to wear it out so fast this time.”

“Are you sure we can waste more time with these arrest and release scenes?”

“Looks like it- nothing will stop these guys from selling Viagra.”

“…and that was rather good Cane, if I do say so myself.”

“We all know what we’re doing tomorrow, then.”

“Is anyone else experiencing déjà vu right now?”

“The audience is getting bored with this.”

“Sorry, I just had more Cane so we have to let this guy go.”

“Maybe next time I’m here I’ll have some BI.”

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