Romeo X Juliet parody episode 15

Romeo indulges in a budget-saving Flashback Mode about Petruchio.

(Romeo: Petruchio, you were such a well developed character who was integral to the plot of the series. We have suffered a severe blow thanks to your loss.)

Giovanni: Okay, Petruchio’s dead- now let’s get on with the story.

Without Petruchio, Romeo is forced to turn to Hyper Self Pleasure in the mines, but the intensity of it soon injures his hands.

(Romeo: I’m so weak- unable to find a partner or even satisfy my own desires!)

Shortly after, there is a cave-in perilously close to Romeo’s position.

Giovanni: Go back to Neo Verona, boy- it’s too dangerous for you here.

Romeo: I can’t die- I’m the main character!

Back in Neo Verona, the soldiers are once again menacing generics.

Generic Man: Why must you torture us so? We are just trying to live out our oppressed and miserable lives in peace!

Soldier: Shut up and be glad of the screen time!

Cordelia: Stop picking on nameless characters!

Soldier: Men, an unarmed woman is criticising us- let’s show how tough and manly we are by cutting her down!

Benvolio uses the Flee ability to let Cordelia escape with him. As the soldiers pursue, they stop at a pub to question the generics there.

Soldier: Have you seen a young man and a woman?

The landlady emerges, stick in hand.

Soldier: Damn, she’s got a stick- we should get out of here.

At the Gradisca mess hall, Romeo stares at the handkerchief Juliet gave him, until some generics take it and start playing keep-away.

Generic: Hey everyone, let’s hassle the new guy!

Romeo: Stop it! I’m the main character, you know!

Generic: Don’t you even know the procedure? We start off by being inexplicably mean to you, and then by the end of the episode you magically earn our respect!

Giovanni arrives.

Giovanni: In that case, I have to be the brusque but influential guy who is the first to give him a chance- now give that handkerchief back.

In the woods, Curio has secret HORSE whilst Antonio gathers tiny red berries.

(Antonio: These negligibly small berries are a staple in any balanced diet.)

He spots Juliet staring at a tree.

(Juliet: Is this WOOD? I was told it was generic and dull, but it seems far worthier than anything else in this episode so far.)

At the mines, there is another cave-in. Being the main character, Romeo is miraculously unharmed.

(Romeo: This is my chance to earn everyone’s respect by rescuing them!)

Giovanni: Out of the way, boy- you’re useless here.

Paolo: What are you doing? Get back to work at once!

Romeo: No- this mining arc is too boring! We must all go back to Neo Verona in the hopes that the plot can progress that way! And now that I have your attention, this time I really will earn your respect by helping to rescue some generics!

Romeo helps to rescue the survivors.

Generics: Sorry we were mean to you earlier- let’s all be friends.

(Romeo: Worked like a charm.)

To be continued…

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2 Responses to Romeo X Juliet parody episode 15

  1. Necromancer says:

    Antonio: These negligibly small berries are a staple in any balanced diet

    *has a flashback to 1 of Ray Mears’ survival/bushcraft/cooking shows I’ve seen too much of on UKTVGold*

  2. Karura says:

    Haha, I saw a clip of him making some berry paste thing on Harry Hill before concluding that there was no evidence people in the past had ever actually eaten it.

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