Gan Ning wanders the land of Wei, dressed in a hooded cloak. He is stopped by some guards.
Guard: You there- that cloak and hood make you look rather suspicious.
Gan Ning: Oh, I’m just a generic labourer, and most certainly not a named character from an enemy country.
Guard: Oh, well that’s okay then. Carry on.
Lu Xun is wandering through town when he sees Zhuge Liang and Zhuge Jin having violent HARD GAY.
Zhuge Jin: That’s right, Liang, you’re my bitch now. Come on, bitch, I want to hear you scream.
Lu Xun: Master, what’s happening? Why are you being so submissive?
Zhuge Jin walks away.
(Zhuge Liang: Lu Xun must never know of my shameful fetish.)
Zhuge Liang: It is nothing- more importantly, are you going to the HARD GAY training camp?
Lu Xun: Of course! I’m hoping to learn many new techniques.
Zhuge Liang: I have high expectations of you.
The named Wu characters head to the camp.
Taishi Ci: Why the hell do I have to go to this training camp? Isn’t my Axe powerful enough already?
Lu Meng: Try thinking of it this way- you’re the experienced man here to give us the benefit of your wisdom.
Ling Tong: Training camps are a great Wu tradition- even my father once attended one.
(Lu Xun: I know he’s the older brother, but how could Zhuge Jin be so aggressive towards Zhuge Liang? Doesn’t he appreciate how skilled the master is?)
Zhuge Jin: Ah, what a nice day. One almost feels like skipping HARD GAY training and just enjoying some casual Pleasure.
(Zhuge Jin: He has to get the hint this time.)
Lu Xun: We can’t afford to do that- we need to learn new methods of HARD GAY.
Zhuge Jin: It’s called Pleasure for a reason, you know- stop taking yourself so seriously.
The team reaches their destination, a small hut at the end of a broken pier.
Taishi Ci: All right, let’s have HARD GAY at once! Lu Meng, come and take my Axe!
Taishi Ci carries Lu Meng to the bedroom.
Lu Meng: Somebody save me!
Taishi Ci: Forget it- we’re going to have Axe over and over until you get used to taking it!
After taking off his wig, Taishi Ci begins giving the others some intense HARD GAY training, involving Sword, Axe, Strings and WOOD.
(Lu Meng: Wasn’t I supposed to be a civil servant? Why am I doing Shounen Jump style training?)
Ling Tong: I never thought HARD GAY could be so gruelling.
Everyone returns to the cabin and begins preparing for the evening. After dinner, they start heating up a bath, but when there isn’t enough firewood, Lu Xun rips off a plank from the bathroom wall.
Taishi Ci: What are you doing? If you want to come in and see me naked, just use the door.
In the bathroom, Lu Meng gives Taishi Ci HARD GAY.
Taishi Ci: Come on boy, put more strength into it!
Later, Zhuge Jin and Lu Xun meet up outside.
Lu Xun: Zhuge Jin, do you hate your brother?
Zhuge Jin: How could I hate him? I was the one who taught him the ways of HARD GAY.
Lu Xun: That’s good to hear. Would you mind teaching me your techniques one day?
Zhuge Jin: Of course, but I should warn you that I’m a harsh coach.
The next morning, Taishi Ci makes everyone go on a run before they stop to watch the sun rise.
Taishi Ci: Even though you have only had one day of training camp, and two of you signed up to become civil officials anyway, watching this sunrise will magically turn you into warriors! All of Wu is depending on you, the named characters!
Shortly after, everyone returns to the palace, but trouble starts almost immediately when Zhou Yu gives Zhuge Jin violent Whip.
Zhuge Jin: Pah, you call that a whipping? To an S&M fanatic like me, it’s barely a tickle!
Zhou Yu: How dare you criticise my Whip?
Zhuge Jin: You are nothing compared to Brother Liang! I’m out of here!
Zhuge Jin leaves.
Lu Xun: What’s going on? Is this genuine, or just an obvious plot device?
To be continued…
