Before (or preferably after) you read this, be sure to take a look at all the great entries in the Animeblogger mascot competition (and yes, that one labelled Karura was from me). Personally, my money’s on Xephonia to win
Anime Nano: the RPG
The other day, a random remark on the Anime Nano forums gave birth to the idea of it being an MMORPG rather than a blog aggregator, and of course, me being me, I couldn’t help but think “where better to explore this idea than Tuesday Rumble?”. So, without further ado, let us explore Anime Nano: the RPG!
Choose your class: The first thing to do is invest your start-up points in creating a character. The cheapest class to create is Lurker, but with a little more effort you can go for Commenter instead. Purchase your own home base (blog), and your class immediately goes up to Blogger.
Tweak your stats: The next thing to do is assign bonus points to the various stats. Available stats include “Pretentious Elitist”, “Screencap Frenzy”, “Blow-by-Blow Summariser”, “Overanalyser”, “Straight Reviewer”, “Flame Baiter” and “Merchandise Whore”.
Time to play!: Now you are finally ready to step into the world of Anime Nano: the RPG. Much of the game is spent in blogging dungeons, using your abilities to hack and slash at endless waves of Flamers, Spammers and Trolls. The number of successive combo attacks you are able to perform in battle is determined by the number of hits your blog receives divided by one hundred; if you don’t have a blog, you can only ever perform a single hit combo.
Advanced Play: For those familiar with the game’s system, there are other, more advanced game play options to exploit. Form a permanent party by recruiting other writers to your blog, or a temporary one for multi-blog articles. Form trading alliances with links, or even declare war on other blogs. Whatever you do, avoid getting hit with the Hiatus status effect, since it usually leads to a slow and painful death.
Romeo X Juliet: X-treme(-ly over the top) version
After the revelations of episode seventeen, the time came to wonder- just how many more twists could the Romeo X Juliet anime throw our way? The only way forward, of course, was to delve deeper and come up with some of the more outlandish ideas the writers may still have in store.
- Romeo and Juliet are actually (half) brother and sister, making their entire love story completely incestuous.
- Hermione is actually Juliet’s half-sister, or at the least an adopted commoner who was switched at birth with Emilia.
- Cordelia (or perhaps Reagan) is the real Juliet, and Juliet is just a random generic.
- Antonio, Curio and Francisco are all Montague’s illegitimate sons.
- Romeo is not Montague’s son at all, since Portia had a one night stand with Conrad.
“Huh, who cares?”
“Well, there’s one other place, but it isn’t what you’d call practical or comfortable.”
“Yeah, Jack Squat’s a great guy, unlike his better known yet more offensive cousin.”
“Let’s have Pleasure!”
A new form of Hyper Self Pleasure is developed, code-named God Bird.
(“Did he break his arm having Hyper Self Pleasure?”)
It wouldn’t be Reideen without the damn swearing.
Even so, some people are trying to tone it down.
“Someone went and used a Qwack-o-Ray on us!”
Random Thoughts: Shinji, Asuka and Rei
With the upcoming release of the Rebuild of Evangelion movie, we decided to interview Shinji, Asuka and Rei on their hopes for the new movie series.
So, guys, what changes would you like to see in this remake?
Shinji: I definitely want to be kicking more backside! Let’s stop with this whole whiny Daddy’s boy thing and get me out there beating up bad guys with the best of them!rn
Rei: I’d like to actually have some skills instead of training for months and still having the lowest synch ratio.
Asuka: I should totally be the star this time around!
When you look back on the original series, do you feel that it has held up well, or was it even any good in the first place?
Shinji: I think mistakes were made and some things went wrong, but the fact that we were able to capture the public imagination so much has got to count for something.
Rei: I don’t care either way, really.
Asuka: if you ask me, everything went downhill when Shinji’s synch ratio overtook mine. Before that, I was in charge and everything was cruising along smoothly.
Has Eva’s continued popularity helped or hindered your careers?
Shinji: I’ve never really been able to escape the typecasting, which is a shame because I really wanted to try my hand at the whole outgoing shounen hero thing.
Rei: It was really a boon for my career- I got some choice roles like the part of Yuki Nagato on Haruhi, for example.
Asuka: I don’t know why, but everyone really goes for the Rei type- I can’t seem to get out of her shadow.
How would you respond to the people who say “enough is enough, let the damn franchise end already?
Shinji: I’m just glad I got to do something different in Angelic Days, which wouldn’t have been possible if the franchise hadn’t ballooned the way it did.
Rei: The revenue generated from PVC figure sales is really helping my bank balance, even if Gainax and the sculptors take a healthy cut of the profits.
Asuka: Enough is never enough! I’m never giving ground to those up and coming newbies!
Now for the individual questions. Shinji, can you shed some light on your apparent father complex?
Shinji: I do not have a father complex! I’m telling my dad about this!
Rei, was your emotionless performance a challenge to your skills, or did you long for more of a stretch?
Rei: At the time, I really wanted to be able to cut loose and show my emotions a bit more, but now I’m glad I played it the way I did, because it’s made me a really memorable character. Anyone can be a silly little girl, but playing it cool is a lot harder.
Asuka: I hope you weren’t referring to me just then!
Asuka, how did you react when you found out your character’s depressing back story?rnAsuka: It was a bit of a comedown- all this time I’d been feeling superior to the other two, and then it turned out I was as messed up as they were!
Well, thank you- we hope to have all of you back for more interviews.
This Week in Anime
Here we see fruit in its natural habitat.
An innocent slice of orange is impaled on the edge of a glass by an apple supporter.
“Just a little further…I can make it out of here!”
Heroic Age maintains its reputation for wide-wide-wide-angle shots.
Fat cat checks in on developments in Kaleido Star.
Nut forces threaten to overwhelm our leads.
Anime World Tour: Record of Lodoss War
Ever fancied dropping in on a world of classic fantasy? Why not try the so-called “cursed island” of Lodoss? Learn magic and swordsmanship from some bona fide heroes, visit classical kingdoms, meet dragons both good and evil and learn the secrets of elves and dwarves with our all inclusive trip to Lodoss Isle! Worship at the shrine of Marfa, participate in one of the many chaotic wars that plague the Isle, attend parties held by legendary kings and fulfil all your classic fantasy desires in one go! Who know, you may even find yourself on a heroic quest of your own!
OST spotlight: Heat Guy J
Heat Guy J is an odd soundtrack indeed, combining elements I usually wouldn’t have time for, such as looping and often random electronic themes, bagpipes and the dreaded J-rock to make something that actually has some catchy themes. I have to admit that there are stretches where you’ll just blank out and not really listen to it, but the sheer energy with which its quirky and often discordant themes are presented is enough to make it extremely catchy in places. One to at least try out, even if it doesn’t really suit your tastes, not to mention oddly reminiscent of the Noir and RahXephon music at times.
Notable tracks: Tribe, Rainbow Gate Park, Backstreet Guys, Black Box
Mini-editorial: Does commercialism exclude art?
A rather pretentious sounding title if you will, but let’s just go with it for the moment- do the needs of fulfilling an order for twenty-six (or however many) animated episodes on a given budget (whilst getting ratings and selling merchandise in the process) prevent any sort of artistic vision from being realised? Even if one retains the core essence of the original concept, does compromise prevent it from being the True Series it could have been? Is the integrity of a piece always destined to ever be compromised by the desire to pander to the audience? Can any anime, apart from perhaps Voices of a Distant Star, be said to be proper “art”, undiluted by the need to make money?
Then again, is making it for an audience merely a key element in the creation of so-called art? Aren’t plays written for people to come and watch, paintings created to sell and put on exhibition? Does it matter if a few elements are changed, as long as we can communicate the core essence of our vision to others? Can we possibly hope to use this line of argument to justify the creation of a model kit seller like Gundam Seed Destiny?
In the end, as we learn from Animation Runner Kuromi, the vast majority of anime is not meant to be high art, it’s just business. But if we can appreciate artistic qualities within it, does it really matter how they came about?
Harem of the week: Ayato Kamina (RahXephon)
The slowed down time of Tokyo Jupiter may have messed up his life, but Ayato was still able to connect with women from both his past and present.
Reika: The mysterious girl who guides the plot whilst having a deeper significance.
Megumi Shitow: The energetic and argumentative “friend your own age” type.
Haruka Shitow: The older woman, also with plot significance.
Quon: The second mysterious girl, fond of talking in riddles.
Fashion Police: Shigure
This week, the Fashion Police are after Kenichi’s Shigure for a double offence, starting with her default outfit. Her hair is at least nice and she does carry her costume off with confidence, but seriously, what’s up with that fishnet top and cerise tunice, not to mention the fact that certain screenshots seem to indicate that she isn’t in the habit of donning underwear?
Then we move onto this, her revealing “bandages only” swimsuit, surely in danger of unravelling whenever she performs strenuous martial arts.
Fashion sense: C
Amusing Search Terms
Old favourites: bouncing breasts
virtual sex: At least search for the real thing.
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utawarerumono sex scenes download: You want them and don’t have them, I don’t care about them and have them on my computer. And no, I’m not uploading them.
tyou toube porn: is this the next evolution of you toube?
anime panty shot: These days, this seems tame.
walkthrough ( puzzle ARIMASU ): ???
super b train: Go! Super B Train! Gattai!
all grunty: It’s all grunty, all the time!
azure- nude.net: Is this domain taken? Will I get more hits if I use it?
gay movie maker: A very specialised version of Windows Movie Maker, it turns any movie into a gay love scene.
“marie zhuge”: A distant descendant of Liang himself.
evil teenager anime: Damn those evil teens.
Back by Popular Complete Lack of Demand, Amusing Spam
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I hope so.
Sometimes, you”ll become overwhelmed by the enormous quantity of attitude information out there….”
Yeah, I know.
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Good for you.
“vegetable diet soup…
The normal everyday fellow would be under the impression that investing the time to obtain intellect on this topic of interest is a waste of resources….”
But vegetable diet soup is such a worthy topic! I have so much more to say about it
“fast weight loss diets…
It can occasionally get difficile to set apart the valuable diet soda info from the bad….”
I agree, there’s just so much information about diet soda out there.
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