Shounen Onmyouji parody episode 17

Masahiro has a flashback about the generic ghost’s life in Snow Town before waking up.

Masahiro: Help, this guy is so generic and boring! He mustn’t be allowed to become the main character!

Mokkun arrives.

Mokkun: I can’t believe this! It’s all Takaokami no Kami’s fault that this generic ghost ended up in your body!

Masahiro: But why me?

Mokkun: It’s because you’re the main character, idiot! But she should have realised that you’re only Level Six- you can’t afford to have a status effect like Stamina Drain!

Whilst Masahiro and Mokkun head off to Kifune, Seimei talks to Rikugou, Genbu and Taiin.

Seimei: Hmm, Masahiro is only Level Six- I wonder if he’ll be able to succeed on this difficult mission. It would be a shame if he died and some other talented onmyouji had to step in and take over as the main character.

Rikugou: I guess that means you want us to join his party.

(Seimei: No, that’s not what I mean at all! Damn, at this rate I’ll never get to be the main character!)

At Kifune, Masahiro and Mokkun encounter a Slime Fusion Demon.

Mokkun: Guren Mode! Come on, Masahiro, you can make it to Level Seven with this! Flame Binding!

Masahiro: Change to Back Row! Input Spell Command- Banishment!

The spells have no effect.

Masahiro: What’s going on? Do we have to Data Drain it first?

Guren: Equip Flame Spear!

Meanwhile, bishie-Seimei, Rikugou, Taiin and Genbu enter the battlefield as a separate party. They encounter a Slime Fusion Demon.

Rikugou: Evade!

Taiin: Vortex!

Rikugou: This isn’t like a normal monster- does anyone have a Twilight Bracelet?

Guren is having difficulty fighting the Slime Fusion Demon.

Guren: Masahiro, there’s a strong possibility of game over right about now!

The monster ensures Masahiro and Guren in tentacles.

Guren: I refuse to let you violate me with these tentacles! Burning Release!

Guren is freed, but Masahiro is drawn into the beast’s maw. Meanwhile, Seimei’s party continues to fight their monster.

Taiin: Vortex!

Genbu: Earth Spikes!

Seimei: Input Spell Command- Binding!

Rikugou: Finishing blow!

After the attacks, Rikugou pulls Kazane out of the monster.

Rikugou: What a hideous type of monster- pulling people inside its Tentacle Violation Prison.

Genbu: Kazane seems so small and vulnerable now, but she could easily turn evil again.

Seimei: Even so, it is hardly heroic to kill her whilst unconscious. We must heal her so that she can become a threat in future episodes.

Whilst Seimei heals Kazane, Guren continues to fight, only for Takaokami no Kami to appear.

Takaokami no Kami: Female form! Guren, what are you doing? Masahiro will get less EXP if he doesn’t strike the final blow!

Guren: But he could die this way!

Takaokami no Kami: If he dies here, he is not worthy of being the main character.

Masahiro wakes up in a dark world.

Masahiro: Damn, I’m all alone here, but I can’t be defeated by this empty, featureless world!

The blackness starts choking him, and as a defence, Masahiro enters Snow Village Illusion to confront the generic.

Masahiro: Generic, why do you want to become the main character?

Generic: Every generic yearns for the day when they can become the main character, but what I really want above all else is just to have a name!

Masahiro: I understand- well, not really, because I am a main character already- but nonetheless, here is a portal to another world, where you can become a named character of importance!

Masahiro somehow opens a world of green fields where the generic can become a main character with his wife and child.

Masahiro: Damn, that really drained the last of my stamina- but wait a moment, my Limit gauge is full!

Masahiro uses his Limit Break to blow up the Slime Fusion Demon from the inside. He returns to the real world, but remains unconscious.

Guren: Wake up, Masahiro! You can’t die when we still have nine episodes left!

Masahiro: When has the main character ever died at this stage?

Kazane wakes up just as the two-headed crow arrives.

Crow: You miserable, pathetic underling! Now come on, let’s go.

Guren returns to Mokkun mode.

Masahiro: You know, as I am indeed the main character, I think it’s about time you told me your secrets.

Mokkun: I guess it’s time to learn of my tragic past, then. You see, normally Spirit Summons are not allowed to harm people, but there was this one time when I almost killed Seimei in the throes of intense HARD GAY.

Masahiro: Okay, that’s enough of your life story- let’s hug in the snow for a while and then go home.

Back at home, Masahiro wakes up in bed.

Akiko: Masahiro, you’ll be pleased to know that Tenitsu has healed your HP- and that you are now Level Seven!

To be continued…