Pumpkin Scissors parody 17

The epic final showdown between Gun and Flaming Pleasure has begun, but which form of HARD GAY is the strongest? And can anyone who participates in these dangerous types of Pleasure ever live to tell the tale?


“Hans, when give the signal, you must give me HARD GAY.”


I’ve missed “damn you!”.


“Even if you have to fake it, I want HARD GAY!”


Commence Flashback Mode.


“Wow, that was intense HARD GAY.”


“…but I’m really attracted to you.”


“Get that suit off so we can all get down and dirty together!”


“Don’t rush the guy- he’s a newcomer to HARD GAY.”


“This will be his first time.”


“We want to introduce you to group HARD GAY!”


“Aagh…looks like I ate a bit too much cherry pie…”


“So did we…why did it have to be so damn tasty?”


“Snap out of Flashback Mode at once!”


“Like I said, she’s a main character and thus immune to KO.”


“We should focus on our assignment- starting with some HARD GAY to get us psyched up.”


“I like the way you think, Machs!”


“Take this, generics!”


“Her Sword is like that of a man!”


“They say that this Sword is able to match the power of HORSE!”


“In the old days, it was impossible to have both Sword and HORSE at the same time, frustrating many men who demanded more.”


“The solution was take things up a notch with Double Sword and HORSE.”


“They say that HARD GAY was so intense that it killed the other man.”


“Women should not be handling items of such HARD GAY power!”


“That’s it- I can’t hold back any longer!”


“We’re not allowed to initiate HARD GAY yet!”


“Are you saying this is the end for our HARD GAY?”


“You fool- once we get our Liangs out, we have to do the deed!”


“We’ve waited so long for these, the ideal conditions for group Pleasure-“


“Wait- is that a book of techniques?”


“This is the thing you need to take your Pleasure to the next level, isn’t it?”


“Although I guess you would have preferred the version with larger diagrams.”


“Actually, I have several HARD GAY guides already- well used, as you can see.”


“If you flip to the back, you will also see a complete index of potential partners!”


“It even tells you how much HARD GAY they have had…”


“…and you can check whether they’ve used Viagra or not!”


“Yet to have the version with the larger diagrams- why, that would be perfect!”


“This isn’t just about HARD GAY, is it? The army’s going to start selling Viagra!”


(“What kind of world will this become if all my lovers can’t even get the motor running without Viagra?”)


“…every single man in this city to be able to perform whenever and wherever we want him to!”


“I’m sure you can see that we mere recurring characters are doing the right thing.”


“My subordinates are the main characters!”


“Besides, this is a time when every man is HARD!”


“They hardly need to be made dependent on Viagra!”


“In fact, the Guns around here are too advanced for the men who wield them!”


“Now, cooperate with me, and perhaps I can help you with some of those diagrams.”


“Impossible Sword Manoeuvre, Main Character Style!”


“I Dodge with Bullet Time!”


“…and counter with Knife!”


“Don’t get me wrong, I’m impressed that a woman could give such Sword.”


“But even main characters aren’t invincible!”


“Wanna bet- Impossible Kick!”


“Aargh- I am defeated!”


“They won’t be satisfied with anything less than full HARD GAY- even if it’s fatal to us!”


“Are you able to give HARD GAY at this distance?”


“Even my Zhuge Liang can’t reach out that far.”


“I know- why don’t we give them Grenade?”


“Then when I get in close, I can give him Liang the old fashioned way.”


“We can’t get up close and personal like this!”


“Weren’t you watching my Flashback Mode? I’ll get an uncontrollable urge for cherry pie and die from overeating!”


I can’t deny I wasn’t wondering how he managed to do those things whilst remaining in the suit, but now it feels like too much information.


“Hans, if you just try BI, you’ll be free of this HARD GAY suit!”


“It’s too late- I’m already frigid!”


“That’s why I’ve been trying to recover the spark with Flaming Pleasure!”


“…like this!”


“Such intense flames only get me in the mood for more!”


“Then here’s round two!”


“Is this what it means to be a main character?”


Don’t try this at home.


“Now I’ll show you some true Pleasure with this Gun!”


“Sorry, but according to elemental affinities, Flame beats Gun!”


“Now I shall become the main character!”


“But doesn’t Grenade beat Flame?”


“Who cares? My Active Turn will come around before his!”


“Oh well, he just used Self Destruct anyway!”


“Mere explosions cannot kill main characters.”


“Exactly- I was just getting naked!”


“Now experience true HARD GAY!”


“Wait- I’ve killed too many with HARD GAY already.”


“Okay, it’s our turn for some Gun.”


“NOOOO!!! Why does cruel irony always interfere with these bonding moments?”


“Will? I thought they were called Randel and Hans!”


“We can have HARD GAY again in Heaven!”


“Aagh, I’ve been hit! I guess I was only destined to be a mid-boss after all.”


“Well, at least I survived through main character power.”


Red Moon, Red Moon…who will be born again tonight?


“And now to round things off with a spot of CORPSE.”

One thought on “Pumpkin Scissors parody 17

  1. Another great parody 😉

    I would’ve commented earlier if some fat cats hadn’t conspired to shut down all cable tv, phone lines and internet in my whole area for most of the day, atleast my unwatched DBZ season 2 boxset is now half watched.

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