Apologies for not posting for a few days; some idiot (not me) forgot to pay for the internet this month.
They said it didn’t need to be done, but it was- a prequel to the greatest trainwreck of all time, Mai-Otome 0. And thus, in true Azure Flame tradition, we could not merely let the situation pass- for where Otome exists, so does parody. So, join us as we delve into the past, to the days of Rena Sayers and the King of Windbloom- to a terrible era devoid of fat grey cats…
The future John Smith (currently known as ‘Kiddo’) plots to kidnap the main character and take her place.
“Sorry, but I indulged in a spicy curry on the way here.”
“Never, ever mess with a woman in a maid costume!”
“Give her back! I must become the main character!”
“No way! Even Sunrise won’t give in to your demands!”
Bruce decides to indulge in a spot of power-throwing.
When your Master is a nun, you have to wear the Robe for the part.
“Look, I can fly!”
“…sorry, I was cheating- I had an invisible Otome catch me.”
Go forth, new characters!
Now for a history lesson. Pay attention everyone, as we go back to days when generics rose up and threatened us all.
In desperation, the people turned to HARD YURI.
In this way, maid power was released and Otome were born.
Here’s some gratuitous Otome-service that has no real connection to anything.
Now back to business- let’s properly meet the lead, Sifr Flan.
Already she has the obligatory tragic past, with a deceased mother.
Here we see her being auditioned for the role of main character.
“Hello, I’m Rena and despite the earring, maid costume and back story revealed in the original series, I am most certainly not an Otome.”
“We’re actually from Mai-HiME Destiny, but they let us have cameos anyway.”
Another new character arrives for some screen time.
“Rena, we must have HARD YURI at once or the fans will get upset!”
“Ladies, if you wish to do that sort of thing, might I suggest you retire to the bedroom?”
“Can you help us? We’re looking for screen time.”
Gone are the fat grey cats- in their place we have a thin one called Nina.
Could it be that Sifr was inspired to name her daughter Nina after rescuing this cat?
Falling from any height is rarely an issue in Mai-Otome.
At last, the cat is safe again- but for how long?
After DVD special 4, it’s best not to even speculate what the creators were thinking at this point.
When in doubt, there’s always fanservice.
An action scene at Garderobe? This is so rare that I must record it!
In the background we have what appears to be a young Miss Maria.
“I really wish I had bought more furnishings for this office.”
“Oh well, I’ll just have to make do with some phone yuri.”
“Phone yuri with the headmistress is always so tiring.”
“I don’t care what they say- it isn’t as good as the real thing.”
“Wait a minute- how did I suddenly end up on Strictly Come Dancing?”
“Would you care for a foxtrot?”
“Wait a minute- that isn’t Bruce Forsyth!”
“Never fear, my tiny pistol shall protect us against this immense monster!”
“I think you’d better let us handle it- activate special Jewellery Channel earrings!”
But which is better? Ugly monsters…
…or Otome? There’s only one way to find out-
Oh, sorry, when I said fight what I actually meant was ‘run away’.
“Named characters, feel the wrath of the oppressed generics!”
“Oh by the way, you know when I said I wasn’t an Otome, what I meant was that I actually am an Otome.”
“Sorry, I don’t have the Blue Sky Sapphire yet- oops, you’re not supposed to know about that.”
“Damn you, I hate named characters!”
“I told you we shouldn’t have bought our weapons from the discount store- look what’s happened to them!”
“Take a look at this, John Smith! This is the power of the named character!”
“NOOO!!! What is the obsession with tentacles in this show?”
This man is the John Smith of the era, and subtle hints lead me to believe he may be evil.
No Oto-HiME era would be complete without an artificial life-form, so meet M-9.
“That move is so 2005!”
“Now, talk to the hand!”
“Now who’s being old-fashioned?”
“For the sake of everyone I must kill Sifr and prevent Nina from ever existing!”
Don’t you just hate it when you get a power over-lod?
“We’ve done Xenosaga, Dragonball Z and Slayers- now let’s go for the Ikkitousen look!”
“Hey, is it okay if I stop standing around and actually participate in this battle?”
“Tremble in fear at the playing of my invisible piano!”
“Looks like it’s time for ridiculously huge weapons!”
Now to end with a gratuitous character shot.
Next time: Hime and Otome- why am I not enthused at the prospect?