Ginga Densetsu Weed parody: episode seven

Hougen’s minions drag the defeated and bloody bodies of John and Gin away; so much for God Mode.

Hougen: I may be evil and destined to be defeated, but for now I am powerful! Right, Reika darling?

He nuzzles an unwilling Reika. Meanwhile, a weakened Akame has met up with Weed and the others.

Akame: Enter Exposition Mode!

Akame explains the situation.

Jerome: If Gin is in trouble, we must mobilise straightaway.

Weed: We can’t just leave this place unguarded.

Jerome: It’s okay- we’ll gather some nameless expendable dogs to protect this place. They’re bound to get attacked, but I’m sure good will triumph by episode 26.

Mel: I’ll stay behind too- plus we’ll have Akame on our side. The poor guy’s exhausted, but he’s a member of the God Mode trio so he’s bound to be of some use.

Weed: Oh, well that’s okay then. Let’s go and save my dad!

Jerome: Well spoken, Weed. In Gin’s absence, you are now our leader, whilst I shall take on the role of older mentor dog.

Ken: Great! I’ll gather random nameless dogs from somewhere to help us.

Weed, his friends and the nameless dogs set off to confront Hougen and rescue Gin. Rocket decides to infiltrate their group.

Weed: What’s your name, suspicious unknown newcomer?

Rocket: I’m Rocket, an old friend of your father.

Weed: As a trusting main character, I believe your story and welcome you to the group.

After a day of travel, Weed’s group rests. Weed takes Jerome aside.

Weed: Jerome, I’m the main character, but let’s face it, when it comes to fighting I’m only about level two. Could you teach me how to fight?

Jerome: As your mentor, I can indeed help you level up, but you must master your own special techniques.

Later that night, Kagetora wakes up to see a number of nameless dogs deserting. It is of course Rocket’s doing, and the next day he continues his work, convincing the nameless dogs that Hougen’s force is too strong to oppose.

Jerome: Rocket, what are you doing?

Rocket: It’s not my doing at all- I’m just repeating something one of the deserters told me.

Kagetora: Since I don’t really know you, I’m happy to take you at your word.

Through a series of stills, time passes, until…

Jerome: It’s time to find food, so let’s all split up and leave ourselves vulnerable. Weed, you stay here.

Jerome and the others run off, leaving Weed and Rocket together.

Weed: As a main character, I should look for food too…oh, Rocket, you’re here.

Rocket: Wow, you remembered my name- I can feel my icy heart melting towards you.

Suddenly, a Hougen minion attacks Weed.

Weed: Enter Flashback Mode!

Weed remembers Jerome’s invaluable advice and manages to land the first blow. However, as the minion prepares for a counterattack, Rocket is forced to step in.

Jerome arrives on the scene.

Jerome: What’s going on?

Rocket: I’ve just saved Weed- not just to ingratiate myself into the group, but because he remembered my name. Now, I must kill this random minion.

Weed: As the pure-hearted lead, I must insist you let him go to potentially cause trouble later.

Rocket: Oh, okay then.

The minion is released. Cut to Hougen’s HQ; Hook has infiltrated the forces of EVILZ. After Missile tells him about the approaching forces of GOOD, Hougen goes to visit his captives.

Hougen: Ah, how pleasant to see you stripped of God Mode. I’ve just come for a quick gloat.

John: Good will prevail!

Hougen seizes John by the neck and tosses him aside, before attacking Gin. Only next episode will tell whether they survive this onslaught. Meanwhile, we cut to a random area, where Hiro ‘ball snatcher’ has just ripped the testicles off a nameless Hougen minion.

Hiro: Pom Poko, you are next.

Back to the main storyline, and Missile, Rocket and Jet are having a secret meeting.

Rocket: Hougen never gives us any respect- maybe we should just fulfil our roles in the plot and defect.

Missile: Rocket, we can’t possibly defect until next episode at the earliest. Now go and advance the plot by kidnapping Weed.

Rocket: Oh, okay then.

Rocket returns to Weed and the others, who are continuing their seemingly endless voyage, all the while gathering further random nameless dogs.

Rocket: Sorry, Weed, but the storyline dictates that I must do this.

Rocket grabs Weed and runs off with him. GB tries to chase after them, but trips over.

Ken: GB, have you actually been any use to the storyline so far?

GB: I have use- even if it is only as the blundering sidekick.

Rocket takes Weed back to Missile and Jet.

Rocket: Mission complete.

Weed: Rocket, I know I’m pure of heart and inexperienced at spotting deceit, but I trusted you! Enter Battle Mode!

Battle mode begins- play Dynasty Warriors music. Jerome suddenly shows up and joins Weed’s party.

Jerome: As the grizzled cynic, I never trusted you, Rocket- and now I’m going to take you down!

Rocket: Wait a minute, we’re both in the OP, surely we can work this out?

Rocket, Missile and Jet’s party vs. Weed and Jerome’s party- battle start!…next episode.