Hello, my name is Anton, and I have just inherited my grandfather’s farm in Mineral Town. I didn’t actually ask for or even want this farm; however I once stayed with the old man during the summer, and it seems that makes me the most qualified to take over this run down old place that contains weeds, rocks, stumps and a dog named Potato. To add insult to injury, if I do not turn the farm into a thriving business within three years, the villagers will chuck me out! I did not ask to be dumped in this backwater hell, but I must make the best of it.
Armed with a list of chores, my first day of real farming began here, and unfortunately it was even worse than I feared. After accepting the Mayor’s invitation of an exposition-filled tour around town, I returned to the farm to hug Potato and begin tilling the fields for my first crop of cucumbers (an oddly popular fruit in this backwater town, perhaps due to the shape). Time seems to pass more quickly than usual in this realm- by the time I had watered my poorly tossed around cucumber seeds, it was time for bed. Apparently I am supposed to find a wife to fill this bed, but how can I have time for seduction when farming is so all-consuming?
Even though I have to get up at the godforsaken hour of 6am each morning, it takes me two and a half hours just to hug my dog and water my puny patch of cucumber plants. Without any other pressing plans for today, I decided to venture out to search for natural resources to sell- I have no idea just why Bamboo Shoots and Blue Grass are just lying around outside or who would want to buy items they can find on the ground, but nonetheless it is the only way for me to make some kind of profit out of this doomed venture. Unfortunately, not knowing the area meant that it took all day just to locate said items, leaving me only the dark evening hours to toil away with my hoe before falling into bed at 11pm.
As I tossed and turned in my uncomfortable bed, I dreamed that today would be a rainy day in which I spent forty minutes fruitlessly searching for my dog before walking out to the ranch on an unsuccessful search for a horse. Upon waking up, I discovered that it was indeed raining, which saves me watering the plants but is otherwise unpromising. Realising that the dream was a warning not to get the horse, I busied myself with the never-ending ploughing and resource collecting- only to discover that not only do Bamboo Shoots magically appear every day, but I have not been picking up as many as I could. No wonder I am near destitute.
In the afternoon, I decided to take a pointless stroll into town in order to check out my prospective brides. Unfortunately, these demanding girls seem to require gifts in order to be won over- as if I have the time or money to arrange such frivolous things! I do not need a woman, just a horse.
Thanks to my hard work yesterday, I ended up sleeping in until 8am- once this would have been early, but now it means that vital hours are lost. Upon going outside, my spirits were further dampened by the incessant rain, and in my misery, I accidentally threw away a precious Bamboo Shoot. Despite these problems, I managed to complete my chores and head out in search of the ever elusive horse. It was absent again today, so I will try visiting the ranch when the rain stops. In an attempt not to oversleep, I shall turn in at the early hour of 8pm.
Despite my early night, I managed to oversleep yet again, and thus I must ignore a tip-off about a free fishing rod giveaway at the docks- when will I have time for fishing anyway? Instead, I headed straight to the shop to spend my funds on turnip seeds, an investment that must surely pay off. After a day of intense seed planting and resource gathering, I was so hungry that I accidentally ate a Bamboo Shoot. I now regret it, for I would rather starve than lose profits.
The weekend has arrived, but on a farm there are no days off, and so despite my third day of oversleeping, I must forge ahead. Fortunately, the rain has cleared up, and so I was finally able to acquire a free foal at the ranch. His name is Seiran, and for the tediously repetitive task of talking to him and brushing him everyday, I will have a full-grown horse to ride around this time next year. I am slightly pessimistic about my ability to raise a horse, however; he may not need feeding, but I cannot afford a brush, and based on my track record with the dog (which I have not seen in days), the future is bleak.
My turnips also sprouted today; normally this would be cause for celebration, but I have realised that I have planted them too densely to be able to water them all. Why is every little mistake punished so harshly?
Today there was a festival on in the village; I have no idea why, but they seem to enjoy celebrating their meaningless existences. I had planned to go there early and get it over with, but my daily tasks took until 3:30pm, after which I had to spend two and half hours watching the girls dance in the festival square. Due to the festival, my produce was not picked up by the generic responsible for buying it from me, and thus I spent another destitute evening toiling in the fields. Ah, the life of a farmer.
It is hard to believe that I have been here for over a week now, yet due to this infernal time dilation, the hours pass quickly. Not only are weeds are now a constant problem in my turnip fields, but this morning a trader offered me an apple for 500G- even if it is the best apple in the world, I cannot afford such an expensive fruit right now.
Due to the sheer volume of turnips in the field, watering now takes no less than four hours, leaving me even less time for other pursuits (how will I cope when I have cows and chickens?). Despite my hard work, I still do not have enough money for a brush, and so I cannot make Seiran love me.
There is only one day left until the cucumbers ripen; I cannot wait to finally make a profit from this worthless farm. In the mean time, I truly thought that today was the day to buy the brush, but when I went down to collect it, I was told my inventory was full- why can I only carry three tools when other heroes can fit 99 potions into their back pockets with ease? By the time I had walked back home, dropped off some tools, and walked back, the blacksmith was closed- how tedious.
Thanks to inconsistent watering, only two cucumbers were ready today, however, I was able to pluck some turnips as well, which softened the blow a little. Although it took many hours to prepare the produce for send-off, I did have time to head into town and buy some turnip seeds to replace the picked ones. I now have far too many seedlings to water, but my sole hope is that I can make enough profit from crops to buy my first chicken. Once I have a chicken, all will be well.
I should also note that I finally have the accursed brush; however, when I went to see Seiran, I realised that I had forgotten to bring it with me.
Despite the tiresome effort that has to be put into watering the plants (I must design an irrigation system), today marked a milestone in my farming experience as I was finally able to purchase my very first chicken. Quite by chance, I managed to reach the poultry farm whilst it was still open, where I purchased a chicken named Ruby and some units of chicken feed (I wish I could see how much money I had without an NPC having to tell me). Today has also been a day of enlightenment as far as travel is concerned, for I have discovered that these stubby legs of mine can actually run. Fetching items and walking to the village should now take less than an hour, which will give me extra time for some backbreaking work in the fields. Speaking of which, I have come to realise that I must practise more with both my axe and the thus far untouched hammer if I ever wish to have the skill to upgrade them; to that end, I have spent much of the evening meaninglessly chopping logs.
I suppose I should take time out to socialise with the villagers, but by the time I am done with the farm, the hour is always late and people’s homes are locked. During my usual chores today (more turnips have ripened!) I happened to realise that I can indeed check a status sheet for my farm, a basic functionality which I had long overlooked.
Due to my lack of hammer use thus far, I dedicated my evening to smashing rocks with a hammer in the hopes that I can one day upgrade it and smash bigger rocks (that is how life is on a farm, one must toil hard at small and meaningless tasks in order to be able to move onto large and meaningless ones). Tomorrow I must practise with both hammer and sickle, whilst desperately hoping to scrape together enough money for a less pathetically small rucksack.
Although today was meant to be all about giving cookies to the girl you like, I have no kitchen in which to prepare such cookies, and so I am using this weekend to concentrate on the farm. Some more cucumbers and turnips were ready today, but by the time I had picked them and watered the seedlings, the sun was already high in the sky. Fortunately, my annoyance at the swift flow of time abated somewhat when I went into the chicken coop and discovered that Ruby had laid her first egg. Roosters do not exist in this world to fertilise eggs, so all I need to do to breed more chickens is put an egg in the incubator and wait.
Since I prefer handling my tool to talking to girls, the afternoon and evening were spent bathing in the hot springs before using my sickle to clear some more weeds. I am becoming rather adept with these tools, if I do say so myself.
My third week in this living hell has begun, and my mood is reflected in the weather, for it has started raining again. Fortunately, this meant that I could skip the tedious watering of plants and spend my morning harvesting the latest crop of turnips- enough to earn me the money for that Rucksack and Axe Upgrade I’ve been eyeing.
Since I had not previously bothered to note down where the mine was, a fruitless afternoon was spent wandering around Mother’s Hill until I realised it was, in fact, just beyond the hot spring. The evening was thus spent grubbing around in the mine until I dug up some Copper Ore, before I exhaustedly fell into bed after 10pm.