Tuesday Rumble: May 1st

Introductions are so last week- let’s just get on with the article.

White Screens, Stills and 0kb episodes- the future of anime according to Bee Train
Tired of anime that has all that confusing and hard to keep up with content like dialogue, movement and action? Fear not, for Bee Train sympathises with you, and is doing their utmost to spearhead a new generation of animated series that will surely appeal to those looking for a more manageable experience! Here are some of their upcoming projects:

• Watching Black Paint Dry: An exciting 26 episode epic about paint drying! Will the paint be dry by the end of the series? Will it make any discernible difference to what we see onscreen? The only way to find out is to watch the whole thing!
• The Space Between the Panels: An epic tale that tries a creative new version of manga adaptation- instead of adapting the content of each manga panel, this series shows us what goes on in the white space between each manga panel! The series will be scored by Yuki Kajiura, with That Same Old OP You’ve Heard A Hundred Times Before performed by Ali Project.

Every Bee Train project will be available to acquire from its official website, in convenient 0kb files that download instantly, and do not take up any space on your hard drive! Don’t miss out!

How to be a female action character
A couple of weeks ago we learned what it takes to become a female mecha pilot, but what about female characters in action series? There’s no time like the present to investigate their role further.

• There are two classes for female characters to fall into in action series; either she must be a childhood friend who pines after the lead despite his blatant lack of romantic interest in her, or she is a bitchy ‘tough girl’ who is renowned for her strength but rarely wins on screen.
• The tough girl will always lose when fighting against named male characters, and indeed after the first episode her only on screen victories will be against generics or other women.
• Although she may have received many years more training than the lead, she will always be much weaker than him, his hot-headed best friend and his icy cool rival.
• Any decision that a female character makes will always be the incorrect one and so she will usually be overruled by the wiser main characters and told to stay at home and look after some defenceless generics. If she chooses to defy these orders and go out and fight, she will be kidnapped by a general of evil, forcing the heroes to go and rescue her.
• Any female allowed on the battlefield with any sort of regularity will usually be a healer or white mage type. At a stretch, she may be able to communicate with animals and allow them to protect her.
• If the female is a (twin) sister to one of the important male characters, it will always be the male who receives the Destined Plot Powers. The female’s job is to heal him and provide support- he can fight without her, but she only exists to back him up.

Nodame Cantabile 12

“It was just one ‘piano’, but when we reached a ‘crescendo’ I felt as if I was experiencing a whole orchestra!”

“Or to put it more plainly, that STRAIGHT was good.”

“Thank you for satisfying my needs.”

“I’m the main character- I can sleep with who I like!”

Heroic Age 4

“…with a healthy dose of BI.”

“It takes me a while to get the motor running these days, so just be patient.”

“If we did, these would become chaotic times, not unlike the Three Kingdoms.”

Random Thoughts: Dii

You’ve gained a certain notoriety for remaining largely silent during your early anime appearances? Was there any reason why you chose not to speak?

…

Sorry, just teasing you; what I actually want to say is that they didn’t hire a voice actor for me until later in the series in order to save on costs, so I obviously couldn’t say anything until then. I have to say that I wish they’d chosen a better VA for me, but again that was a budget decision.

Do you ever feel jealous that Hakuoro, who was clearly the less worthy of the two of you, got the better deal in terms of playability and screen time?

I can’t say I’m exactly pleased that the inferior half of Witsurnamitea got all the attention, but what did make me happy was that I was still able to build up a fanbase. Thanks to that, I was able to really shine in Utawarriors, and hopefully this is a good sign that I’ll have a solid following for future projects.

What exactly was the point of your actions anyway?

None whatsoever, really- the creators wanted a final boss, I auditioned for the role and got it. The way I see it, Dii probably wanted to create a HARD GAY world and felt a little frustrated at Hakuoro for turning STRAIGHT with all those beautiful women. Getting into make-up for Monster Dii was a real pain, though; they’ve actually sold my costume to Age in Heroic Age now, and I don’t envy him one bit for having to use it from the very first episode.

How do you feel about being made the chibi mascot of Tuesday Rumble?

Any publicity is good publicity, I always say- although the more I look at that image, the more I realise that I should have worn better clothes for Uta.

And finally, what are your plans for the future?

I’ll keep hosting Tuesday Rumble in chibi form, obviously, and hopefully those phone calls for the True Utawarerumono and Utawarerumono Empires will come through soon.

This Week in Anime

Pair of apples caught having secret affair.

Apple takes one small step into space.

“Apple, you and I have made one giant leap for our respective species.”

Argento Soma- were apples the main characters?

Anime Awards

Darkest Black Cat of the Week can only be Mao from Darker than Black, the series that taught us that there are colours darker than black.

Most Boring Episode of the Week goes to El Cazador de la Bruja, for any of the weeks in which it has aired so far.

Most Tangled Storyline of the Week goes to Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle, as the manga takes yet more twists and turns.

HARD YURI corner: Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha
When Nanoha became a magical girl, it was the first sign that HARD YURI was about to enter her life. First she found herself pitted against fellow magical girl Fate and her HARD YURI familiar Arf, but after Fate was released from being submissive to her mother, she was able to choose Nanoha as a lover.

Over the coming season, however, the pair realised that they needed new lovers, and so they made an effort to recruit new faces in the form of Hayate and her guardians. Whilst Signum showed clear attraction to Fate, Vita pursued Nanoha, whilst Hayate proved to be the glue that bound the HARD YURI team together.

Now, in the latest season, Fate, Nanoha and Hayate have become so strong that they must place a limiter on their HARD YURI in order to prevent themselves killing weaker partners. Now, with their jaded tastes forcing them to pursue new partners, they accept Subaru, Teana and other newcomers into their team. Will this new HARD YURI prove successful?

OST Spotlight: Chrono Trigger
Yasunori Mitsuda’s work on this may not be up to the level of his Chrono Cross OST, but this soundtrack is one of the worthier ones from the SNES era. Its 16-bit origins translate to a lot of synth and a heavily electronic feel but the majority of the soundtrack is solid enough, with a sprinkling of more memorable themes. The slower, more poignant and mystical tracks are probably the strongest, with the comical and military style themes coming off as weaker. Expect a fair amount of remix, however.

Notable tracks: Memories of Green, Wind Scene, Secret of the Forest, Battle, The Brink of Time, Time Circuits, Chrono and Marle ~Far Off Promise~, World Revolution, To Far Away Times

Mini-editorial: Growing out or Moving on?
It isn’t uncommon to get bored with a particular hobby or want to take a break from it (see my continual references to the gaming era), but when it comes to anime, let’s quibble over semantics- should it be said that someone has ‘grown out of it’ or that they just ‘moved on’? Although it ultimately doesn’t make any difference, saying that one has ‘grown out of it’ intimates that anime is ultimately a kiddy pursuit that everyone will eventually tire of as they mature, rather than simply being a hobby that some will keep up with and others will tire of. Admittedly, a lot of anime is aimed at a younger audience, but even so, is it fair to label it as a hobby for someone who hasn’t really grown up yet, and assume an air of superiority because one is now watching less anime? Is it just that people who still watch a lot of anime don’t want to feel bad about spending time on an effectively pointless pursuit?

Licensing Reactions

• Air (ADV): No one can know how much I have wanted Air on DVD, so I will be snapping this up when it arrives- although I may forego the movie, which I didn’t enjoy as much.

In Your Reflection

This week we look at the visually impaired CLAMP heroes that infamously caused Hopeless’ blog to be picked up by an optician blog aggregator. I may have missed some out through lack of memory, but I’m sure commenters will rectify that. Expect spoilers.

First up, Tsubasa’s Fye, who loses an eye to Syaoran-clone and then trades the sight in his other eye to get back to his home world.

Tokyo Babylon and X/1999’s Subaru loses the sight in one eye after Fuma takes it in order to fulfil his wish of being like Seishirou. He eventually replaces it with Seishirou’s eye.

Also from Tokyo Babylon and X/1999, Seishirou loses the sight in one eye after being stabbed whilst protecting Subaru from an attacker.

Syaoran-real loses one eye when it is given to Syaoran-clone, leaving them each of them blind in one eye (until the clone steals Fye’s eye).

Watanuki loses the sight in one eye to divert a spider’s curse from his beloved Doumeki, but afterwards Doumeki gives half the vision in that eye to him.

Fashion Police: Jo (Burst Angel)

The Fashion Police have finally knocked on the door of Burst Angel, and first to be arrested is Jo. Although she doesn’t look too bad in action and when wearing her red jacket (not picture), with it off, a distressing lack of fabric is revealed. The top is basically a brief triangle, whilst the shorts are all too brief. I guess her special abilities are the reason she doesn’t get cold.

Fashion sense: D

Amusing Search Terms

Old favourites: you toube sex, Busou Renkin hentai, ” hack perfect audition sea

shishi dog tattoo: Come to Azure Flame, tattoo heaven.

hard yaoi: I only mentioned this once, and now I get consistent searches for it.

she detonates explosives: Do I?

azure startup disc: You now need a special startup disc in order to load my blog.

Tokiko sex: Soon to be an old favourite.

detective school Q: Another series I have never mentioned.