Tuesday Rumble: June 12th


If your sensibilities are not easily offended, you may find Sexy English amusing. A video intended to help Japanese speakers learn slang terms for intercourse and genitalia, it doesn’t show anything explicit, but it should still be considered NSFW.

Oh, and apparently a Tsubasa OVA has been announced. The only hope for it being any good is to not have Bee Train “animate” it (then again, Production I.G.’s Tsubasa movie was hardly stellar).

Bug Master revisited

41 weeks ago, the very first Tuesday Rumble brought us Bug Master, an imaginary edited version of Mushishi. Now we return to expand on that idea with the 4Kids version: Bug Master ~Gotta Catch ‘Em All!

An aspiring young Bug Master, Ginko longs to catch every type of Bug and become the number one Bug Master in the New York league. To that end, every week he travels around the woods and forests of America, meeting up with good American folk and collecting the Bugs he needs to enter the end of series Bug tournament! Thought you already watched “Bug Master”? Think again, because this features all-new dialogue and retooled footage!

Avoiding death: the funniest Yu-Gi-Oh edits

Everyone knows that death and religion don’t exist in America, so they have to be edited out to prevent kids from learning about them. In this article, I don’t even have to make anything up, because we’re about to delve into the dubbed Yu-Gi-Oh archives (without the annoying voices) in order to pick out some of the most hilarious edits.

Original: Kaiba’s father fell (or was he pushed?) out of a window, and didn’t survive the experience.

Edited: Kaiba’s father mysteriously disappeared without a trace.

Original: Yugi and Kaiba play against two opponents on a glass panelled rooftop wired to explode and send whoever loses their life points plummeting to their deaths.

Edited: When the glass panels explode, the loser now falls into the Shadow Realm.

Original: Marik’s father has just whipped Rishid into unconsciousness, causing Dark Marik to emerge and kill his father.

Edited: Marik’s father has just weakened “Odion” with the Millennium Rod off screen, causing Dark Marik to emerge and send his father to the Shadow Realm.

Original: Mai’s parents died when she was young.

Edited: Mai’s parents were never home for some unspecified reason.

Original: Amelda and his brother Miruko live in a war torn country where Gozaburo Kaiba appears to be supplying weapons to both sides. Miruko is killed in an explosion.

Edited: Alistair and Mikey live in an area that has just been bought up by Gozaburo Kaiba. When Kaiba goons try to force them out, Mikey is “taken” (or was that his mother?).

Original: Raphael’s parents and siblings were killed when a tidal wave struck the cruise ship they were on whilst he is marooned on a deserted island. He later digs up his siblings’ skulls in a graveyard.

Edited: Raphael is washed overboard by the tidal wave, and by the time he is rescued from the island, they have forgotten about him (isn’t this crueller?). He digs up an evil duel disk at the graveyard.

Original: Valon beats up some thugs.

Edited: No such beating occurs.

Darker than Black 7

“Thank you for this Pleasure.”

“No problem.”

“I’m very experienced in the ways of Pleasure.”

“…and more importantly, I enjoy myself doing it.”

Dennou Coil 1

“You’re lowering the tone of the show!”

You can’t argue with that.

Sisters of Wellber 3

“No one is more skilled than he is when it comes to Pleasuring a lover with Crossbow.”

“Men have their Crossbows, but we girls prefer Gun!”

“Actually, I’m not familiar with Gun.”

“Looks like his Crossbow isn’t performing up to expectations anyway.”

Random Thoughts: Haseo

Today we chat with Haseo, angsty hero of .hack//Roots and .hack//GU!

Haseo, what made you sign up to The World in the first place?

I know you want me to say I’m a friendless loser with nothing better to do, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. I have a bustling social life- why just last week someone sent me a text message, and it wasn’t even a wrong number! So anyway, yeah, I just wanted to keep up with the latest trends, you know?

Did you ever feel like an idiot, paying to sit around and mope in an MMORPG when you could have just done it in your room for free?

That’s not sitting and moping! It’s introspection, a vital part of character development. I guess not everyone can understand its complexity, though.

How would you answer accusations that your World is ugly and inferior to the original?

You’ve got a lot of nerve even asking me that after featuring me on your Fashion Police section. You people from 2007 just can’t understand the finer points of fashion in my time.

Was there ever anything between you and Tabby?

I can’t deny I like catgirls, but Tabby wasn’t my type- I’m more of a Shino man myself. Although that being said, no man would refuse a close-up of Pai’s assets, am I right?

You went from zero to hero pretty quickly- what was the secret of your success?

Thanks to a clause in my contract, Bee Train weren’t actually allowed to film me during action scenes (some stupid health and safety issue, I think). So all the time I wasn’t on camera, I was actually fighting some really exciting battles and levelling up. I wish you could have seen them, but there’s nothing on record.

And finally, is the sword in your Brandish form trying to compensate for something?

I’m going to hit you in a minute.

This Week in Anime

Strawberries achieve new proportions.

An apple is no match for Ukyo.

After merging with a doughnut company, McDonalds decides to go in for a rebranding.

Watermelon is never far from the screen come the summer.

And here it is in its natural environment.

Anime Awards

Most appreciated animal of the week is the HORSE, which provides Pleasure to many a group of anime heroes.

Most extended exposition scene of the week goes to Seirei no Moribito episode 8, for its lengthy scene with the Evil Men and the Blacksmith. Apparently it was a complex and interesting exploration of the finer uses of exposition, so I must have missed something.

Most HARD GAY episode of the week goes to Koutetsu Sangokushi episode 8, an episode so HARD GAY that it makes the rest of the series look STRAIGHT.

Game World Tour: Phantom Brave

Welcome to the world of Ivoire, a beautiful scattering of islands in a clear blue sea, which has recently entered a time of peace thanks to the defeat of Dark Lord Sulphur. Although conditions in such places as southern Frigidia or the northern deserts may be a little extreme for some, feel free to visit the more temperate central islands. Enjoy the bustling city life in Windmill Promontory, Vapor Island and Bamboo Company, or the quiet villages of Terra Firma, but make sure to take a guide whenever you venture into the wilderness, as monsters abound. We recommend contacting Marona of Phantom Isle if you require assistance in getting around.

OST spotlight: Bakumatsu Kikansetsu Irohanihoheto OST 1

As befits a series set in the Bakumatsu era, the first of Iroha’s two OSTs encapsulates the period feel with its style and instrumentation, but manages to largely avoid those droning themes we tend to associate with Japanese festivals and theatre. Instead, despite an extensive reliance on the series’ prime theme, it manages to create a atmospheric set of tracks with just the right flavour. I’d certainly rate it far above similar OSTs such as SaiMono for its ability to hold worth even outside of the context of the series.

Notable tracks: Shizuku, Doukoku no Haguruma, Shinen no Kousaku, Shannai Kurabu, Shinnen

Mini-editorial: the end of the world as we know it?

Picking up where last week left off, the time has come to question whether the release of a “questionable” anime or manga cause the apocalypse to arrive as the media picks up on it and slams the hotbed of evil that is anime and manga.

Although ideally people would be sensible enough not to tar every piece of Japanese media with the same brush, it would be not unlike the media to sensationalise the “evil of Japanese cartoons” if it got the chance- yet even so, would it magically vanish entirely from the Western world? Video games are constantly being blamed for all kinds of terrible misdeeds, yet they have hardly vanished. Would licensing companies stand idly by and let their profits dry up? Is it common to watch adult titles and then randomly broadcast the fact that “today I watched tentacle demons raping young women! Yay for me!”?

In short, even if anime and manga ends up with negative press attention for a time, it is largely bound to die down as it always does, and whilst it may put off new fans and children still dependent on reactionary parents, many fans will probably carry on largely undeterred.

In Your Reflection

This week we focus on three “stoic dark-hair and easygoing blonde” relationships. First up are Tsubasa Chronicle’s Fye and Kurogane, one a light-hearted mage with a hidden dark side, the other a gruff and committed samurai. Next in line are Ouran’s Honey and Mori, one a laid back lover of sweets with hidden karate skills, the other a quiet “stoic type” who always accompanies him. Finally, we have the newcomers Francisco and Curio, a light-hearted lady-killer who may have further depths, and his extremely dull friend.

Fashion Police: Toya

I won’t deny that Toya is bishie (moreso in the manga), but what were the animators thinking when they dressed him in this? Aside from the bare torso, the choice of colours is questionable and too clashing for its own good, whilst the coat isn’t sure whether it wants to be short or long.

Fashion sense: C-

Amusing Search Terms

What happened to “you toube” again?

Old favourites: hard yaoi, toube pr0n

last exile hentai: “Would you like a ‘ride’ on my ‘vanship’? he whispered in her ear.

Yumizuka Wallpaper: I don’t even know who that is, let alone have a relevant wallpaper.

“futanari lesbians”: This may become an old favourite soon.

“.hack//roots” “OST” “download” “free”: the use of quote marks amused me here.

goku yaoi: Not again.

buso renkin plot: Was it really so complex that you needed to look it up on the internet?

ikkitousen big breast: Booby bombs!

el cazador de la bruja boring: too right it is.

door-to-door salesmen with soda: Forget Pizza Hut, soda is the new in-thing.

soda hime: See, there’s even a princess of soda.

chained up, chained up in the dark: Someone’s looking for bondage ideas.


“the way” “episode 6” rpg maker: Wasn’t The Way some religion in Andromeda?

mokkun plushie: Let me know if one exists.

range weapon in rpg maker xp -2003 -2002: When the countdown reaches zero, I want that ranged weapon!

do gay men like three in a bed sessions: better ask some gay men.

games where you can start were you left: It’s called saving, and it’s a really great innovation.

Anime Parodies gay: people actually search for this now?

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